watch me start a fire in the middle of your shade
Well, that was a lovely Christmas. I ended up spending all of Christmas Eve moving furniture and kitties and other such essentials to the farm. We were tired and sore and didn't even eat dinner until eleven that night, but we made it, we were living in the new house by Christmas. Just barely!
I got billions and billions of great gifts. Loads of new cds, like Arcade Fire and Leaether Strip and Scissor Sisters and Film School, as well as the Sweeney Todd soundtrack (Johnny Depp singing! Rapture, joy!). Loads of new dvds, like Pan's Labyrinth and Stardust and Fight Club and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (special edition, fantastic!) and 24 Hour Party People and Fried Green Tomatoes and As Good As It Gets and News Radio season five. Loads of new books, such as The Goblins of Labyrinth (which has the Brian Froud illustration of Sarah that looks like me in it) and Equus and Animal Speak (no more running to a book store every time an animal totem starts appearing to me!) and Vegan With a Vengeance as well as another vegetarian cookbook. I also got a set of gorgeous pottery made locally, black pjs, black pjs with skulls, kitty slippers, a stripey scarf, the Harry Potter Scene It game, a poop-load of sweets and lovely-smelling soaps in my stocking, and a brand new black 80 gb iPod, which I am attempting to update as I type. R.I.P. Stella, my white 60 gb baby. You gave me my music over many miles and many years, through the Virgin Islands and New Zealand and England and Scotland and France and Italy and back again. You made me brave through dark streets, creative when I was bored, wistful on walks in the rain, and loved when I was lonely. You were my first, and you shall never be forgotten. The words inscribed on your back shall be sung as your dirge, written on my memory as your tombstone: It is up to me now, turn on the bright lights.
With love I send Stella off to electronic heaven, and with open arms I embrace my new girl. Her name is Artemis. I did not choose this name. She told me it was so. I feel that we shall be very good friends.
Oh, I'm also getting a new black coat from Mom, though it is currently on back order. And I also received some gorgeous note cards, adorable pink socks with elephants (how appropriate, as they were so recently my animal totem!) and the most darling Gothic Lolita arm warmers that match my black and white dress perfectly. Thank you so much, elaboratewhimsy!
Three things about last night:
I. Last night as I was watching Johnny Depp's Biography, and specifically the extensive section on Edward Scissorhands, I decided that it is high time that I revisit the things which most effected me throughout my young formative years. The things that helped to put into words the thoughts and feelings that I was having at the time, the images and sounds that spoke to me when I knew only the emotions, the things that I connected to instantly and deeply with a resounding 'YES!' No matter how emotional it will get (and it will get emotional, dear reader) I shall revisit them all, from Edward Scissorhands to Phantom to Incredible Phat. I've already begun with the Chuck Jones cartoons such as Rikki Tikki Tavi (which I hadn't remembered was narrated by Orson Welles, and which always makes me want a pet mongoose) and The White Seal (which used to make me cry so much at the cruelty of humans!) and The Cricket In Times Square (which still moves me to tears whenever he plays that incredible violin piece that causes everyone in New York to stop and consider themselves as well as each other for perhaps the first time in their lives). Today I continued the trend by rewatching Escape to Witch Mountain, which was one of my favourite live-action films as a child. I used to imagine that I, too, was an alien child from another world, and that was why I always felt at odds with my surroundings. I'm hoping that all of this revisiting from my past will stimulate my creativity, which was something I used to never be lacking.
II. Last night I had a dream in which I kept trying to hide secrets from people, secrets about myself, things that I felt were flawed or would simply not be accepted. However, people kept discovering my secrets and, to my amazement, accepting me for them. For instance, I was trying to secretly smoke a clove cigarette, a girlfriend came outside and discovered me, and she didn't try to punish me or make me feel bad. The whole dream was me and my secrets, and no matter what they were, I was always accepted. I woke up feeling free and like I could literally do no wrong. It was a nice feeling.
III. Last night I watched John Waters's Hairspray for the first time. I'd been avoiding the musical as well as the movie of the musical until I could see the original, and I'm so glad that I held out, because I loved it! As well as being uplifting and fun, Tracy Turnblad is one of the most refreshing and original screen characters I have ever seen. For starters, she's a fat girl. However, shock of shocks, the story doesn't revolve around her weight! She *gasp* never even attempts to lose weight! She doesn't seem unhappy with her weight, and her personal story does not entail losing weight to 'become a better person.' In fact, there are only two references made to her weight throughout the entire film. The first is when the mean girl calls her names, which at first centers on Tracy's sexuality (whore) then proceeds to the predictable 'fattie,' but even the evil character gets tired of that one, and, seeing that it holds no sway over Tracy whatsoever, she moves on to accusing her of having roaches in her hair. The second reference is a positive one. Tracy lands a modeling deal for a plus-size clothing shop. She proudly displays the dresses while eating cupcakes. Also, Tracy is not desperate or needy or full of low self-esteem. The story doesn't revolve around her dealing with her weight or, what would be even worse, learning to love herself through a new boyfriend. Yes, Tracy gets a boyfriend in the film, but right at the beginning. She starts dating the cutest boy on the Corny Collins Show, and by the end they're still together. Her weight is never an issue in her love life. Finally, I adore how Tracy fights for the right to be who she wants to be. She fights for integration, and she fights for her right to wear her hair any damn way she pleases. What I love most about John Waters's story is that the main character happens to be a fat girl, but the story is not about her being fat. Watching Hairspray made me realize just how lacking our media is when it comes to portraying fat women. Fat men usually at least get the dignity of having actual personalities and quirks and flaws that don't center on their weight. Fat women almost never get that chance. Tracy Turnblad is a retro breath of fresh air, a wake-up call to screen writers and casting agents that fat women are more than just fat women. She's also my new personal hero. You know how in cliched films women on diets put up pictures of skinny models on their refrigerators to remind them not to eat? Well, alongside my pictures of Beth Ditto and Camryn Manheim, I'm now adding Tracy Turnblad's picture to my own fridge door to remind me to not just eat, but to eat well, enjoy yourself, and be who you wanna be. To hell with society and what anyone else thinks.
Annnd that's it for this episode, kiddos. I was gonna continue to wax poetic about shoegaze bands, glam rock road shows, and how much I kind of want to run away and be a hippie in the mountains again, but that will all have to wait for next time. Today is my sister's thirtieth birthday, and there is much celebrating to be planned for.
I got billions and billions of great gifts. Loads of new cds, like Arcade Fire and Leaether Strip and Scissor Sisters and Film School, as well as the Sweeney Todd soundtrack (Johnny Depp singing! Rapture, joy!). Loads of new dvds, like Pan's Labyrinth and Stardust and Fight Club and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (special edition, fantastic!) and 24 Hour Party People and Fried Green Tomatoes and As Good As It Gets and News Radio season five. Loads of new books, such as The Goblins of Labyrinth (which has the Brian Froud illustration of Sarah that looks like me in it) and Equus and Animal Speak (no more running to a book store every time an animal totem starts appearing to me!) and Vegan With a Vengeance as well as another vegetarian cookbook. I also got a set of gorgeous pottery made locally, black pjs, black pjs with skulls, kitty slippers, a stripey scarf, the Harry Potter Scene It game, a poop-load of sweets and lovely-smelling soaps in my stocking, and a brand new black 80 gb iPod, which I am attempting to update as I type. R.I.P. Stella, my white 60 gb baby. You gave me my music over many miles and many years, through the Virgin Islands and New Zealand and England and Scotland and France and Italy and back again. You made me brave through dark streets, creative when I was bored, wistful on walks in the rain, and loved when I was lonely. You were my first, and you shall never be forgotten. The words inscribed on your back shall be sung as your dirge, written on my memory as your tombstone: It is up to me now, turn on the bright lights.
With love I send Stella off to electronic heaven, and with open arms I embrace my new girl. Her name is Artemis. I did not choose this name. She told me it was so. I feel that we shall be very good friends.
Oh, I'm also getting a new black coat from Mom, though it is currently on back order. And I also received some gorgeous note cards, adorable pink socks with elephants (how appropriate, as they were so recently my animal totem!) and the most darling Gothic Lolita arm warmers that match my black and white dress perfectly. Thank you so much, elaboratewhimsy!
Three things about last night:
I. Last night as I was watching Johnny Depp's Biography, and specifically the extensive section on Edward Scissorhands, I decided that it is high time that I revisit the things which most effected me throughout my young formative years. The things that helped to put into words the thoughts and feelings that I was having at the time, the images and sounds that spoke to me when I knew only the emotions, the things that I connected to instantly and deeply with a resounding 'YES!' No matter how emotional it will get (and it will get emotional, dear reader) I shall revisit them all, from Edward Scissorhands to Phantom to Incredible Phat. I've already begun with the Chuck Jones cartoons such as Rikki Tikki Tavi (which I hadn't remembered was narrated by Orson Welles, and which always makes me want a pet mongoose) and The White Seal (which used to make me cry so much at the cruelty of humans!) and The Cricket In Times Square (which still moves me to tears whenever he plays that incredible violin piece that causes everyone in New York to stop and consider themselves as well as each other for perhaps the first time in their lives). Today I continued the trend by rewatching Escape to Witch Mountain, which was one of my favourite live-action films as a child. I used to imagine that I, too, was an alien child from another world, and that was why I always felt at odds with my surroundings. I'm hoping that all of this revisiting from my past will stimulate my creativity, which was something I used to never be lacking.
II. Last night I had a dream in which I kept trying to hide secrets from people, secrets about myself, things that I felt were flawed or would simply not be accepted. However, people kept discovering my secrets and, to my amazement, accepting me for them. For instance, I was trying to secretly smoke a clove cigarette, a girlfriend came outside and discovered me, and she didn't try to punish me or make me feel bad. The whole dream was me and my secrets, and no matter what they were, I was always accepted. I woke up feeling free and like I could literally do no wrong. It was a nice feeling.
III. Last night I watched John Waters's Hairspray for the first time. I'd been avoiding the musical as well as the movie of the musical until I could see the original, and I'm so glad that I held out, because I loved it! As well as being uplifting and fun, Tracy Turnblad is one of the most refreshing and original screen characters I have ever seen. For starters, she's a fat girl. However, shock of shocks, the story doesn't revolve around her weight! She *gasp* never even attempts to lose weight! She doesn't seem unhappy with her weight, and her personal story does not entail losing weight to 'become a better person.' In fact, there are only two references made to her weight throughout the entire film. The first is when the mean girl calls her names, which at first centers on Tracy's sexuality (whore) then proceeds to the predictable 'fattie,' but even the evil character gets tired of that one, and, seeing that it holds no sway over Tracy whatsoever, she moves on to accusing her of having roaches in her hair. The second reference is a positive one. Tracy lands a modeling deal for a plus-size clothing shop. She proudly displays the dresses while eating cupcakes. Also, Tracy is not desperate or needy or full of low self-esteem. The story doesn't revolve around her dealing with her weight or, what would be even worse, learning to love herself through a new boyfriend. Yes, Tracy gets a boyfriend in the film, but right at the beginning. She starts dating the cutest boy on the Corny Collins Show, and by the end they're still together. Her weight is never an issue in her love life. Finally, I adore how Tracy fights for the right to be who she wants to be. She fights for integration, and she fights for her right to wear her hair any damn way she pleases. What I love most about John Waters's story is that the main character happens to be a fat girl, but the story is not about her being fat. Watching Hairspray made me realize just how lacking our media is when it comes to portraying fat women. Fat men usually at least get the dignity of having actual personalities and quirks and flaws that don't center on their weight. Fat women almost never get that chance. Tracy Turnblad is a retro breath of fresh air, a wake-up call to screen writers and casting agents that fat women are more than just fat women. She's also my new personal hero. You know how in cliched films women on diets put up pictures of skinny models on their refrigerators to remind them not to eat? Well, alongside my pictures of Beth Ditto and Camryn Manheim, I'm now adding Tracy Turnblad's picture to my own fridge door to remind me to not just eat, but to eat well, enjoy yourself, and be who you wanna be. To hell with society and what anyone else thinks.
Annnd that's it for this episode, kiddos. I was gonna continue to wax poetic about shoegaze bands, glam rock road shows, and how much I kind of want to run away and be a hippie in the mountains again, but that will all have to wait for next time. Today is my sister's thirtieth birthday, and there is much celebrating to be planned for.