Sorry guys
I've neglected you again. Seems that when I'm feeling low my self-destructive streak kicks in and my friends are the first thing I let go. Because I deserve to be miserable. Stupid insecurity.
I'm really going to try to comment more. I've been reading and thinking about you guys, just not saying much.
I realised last night that the past few months (okay, the past year) of not feeling great has been leading me back towards depression again. And it's become clear that I've been at least mildly depressed - I just didn't know it. I felt pretty bad last night, and it was familiar from when I was off sick from work for 6 months with depression. I'm sure I've picked it up a lot earlier this time though (I'm nowhere near as bad) so it should be easier to work through it.
I'm neglecting myself. Not eating properly, not taking medication (for diabetes, high blood pressure and sleep) or vitamins, not taking care with my appearance, not doing anything wich gives me a sense of achievement (apart from singing), staying in the house all day and not seeing anyone (except Michael and choir people).
I also thought about going to the doctor, which I've been meaning to do for while. But my surgery is maybe 3 miles away and takes two buses to get there and that is enough to put me off. So I bit the bullet and walked to the surgery that's near me (10 minutes walk) and registered there. I should be in their system soon, then I can go chat to their mental health and diabetes people and see if they can help me.
So my short term plan here is to see a doctor and sort out my meds, etc., and to try to make more effort with people. I've invited my friend Emma round Saturday night and I'm meeting up with Jonathan on Wednesday. I've also been texting people I haven't seen for a while today, and I'm going to try to get on chat more often too (sorry chat people).
And also I'm going to see the Disabled and Dyslexic Students people again, see if they can do anything for me. And I'm going to keep a mood diary, starting from tomorrow - that will help me focus on activities that make me feel good.
I do feel better for having a plan.
I'm really going to try to comment more. I've been reading and thinking about you guys, just not saying much.
I realised last night that the past few months (okay, the past year) of not feeling great has been leading me back towards depression again. And it's become clear that I've been at least mildly depressed - I just didn't know it. I felt pretty bad last night, and it was familiar from when I was off sick from work for 6 months with depression. I'm sure I've picked it up a lot earlier this time though (I'm nowhere near as bad) so it should be easier to work through it.
I'm neglecting myself. Not eating properly, not taking medication (for diabetes, high blood pressure and sleep) or vitamins, not taking care with my appearance, not doing anything wich gives me a sense of achievement (apart from singing), staying in the house all day and not seeing anyone (except Michael and choir people).
I also thought about going to the doctor, which I've been meaning to do for while. But my surgery is maybe 3 miles away and takes two buses to get there and that is enough to put me off. So I bit the bullet and walked to the surgery that's near me (10 minutes walk) and registered there. I should be in their system soon, then I can go chat to their mental health and diabetes people and see if they can help me.
So my short term plan here is to see a doctor and sort out my meds, etc., and to try to make more effort with people. I've invited my friend Emma round Saturday night and I'm meeting up with Jonathan on Wednesday. I've also been texting people I haven't seen for a while today, and I'm going to try to get on chat more often too (sorry chat people).
And also I'm going to see the Disabled and Dyslexic Students people again, see if they can do anything for me. And I'm going to keep a mood diary, starting from tomorrow - that will help me focus on activities that make me feel good.
I do feel better for having a plan.