To be Wanted (Dean/Cas (PG-13))
"What is it with you, Cas?" he half yells, "Why do you give up everything for me?" The angel bristles in response, "I just don't see what's so Goddamn special about a drop-out worth less than the dirt he stands on because he ripped people apart in Hell. No amount of hunting is ever going to make me forget that!"
Castiel straightens his posture and looks directly into the man's eyes. "You were pulled out of Hell because you were the Righteous man. Because despite your entirely human response to the endless torture of Hell, your soul still burned bright with the chance of redemption, and as much as you believe it to be so, you did not enjoy the brief torture you inflicted. Do you really believe yourself to be so wicked and tainted? I saved you because you deserved to be saved." He is breathless, an angry rouge coloring his cheeks.
"That doesn't explain why you gave up on everything for me, I mean, you're not one to talk about having low self-esteem. You answer to me? You come when I call? I don't deserve that." The hunter bites back.
"Don't you understand? All I've ever done has been for you because that is what I wanted. It's because I want you." Dean looks moderately suprised at this revelation,
"You what? Can you run that by me again, why the fuck would an angel want Dean Winchester?" Castiel tilts his head in confusion as well as a poorly masked irritation.
"I told you." and the familiarity of the scene presents itself to Dean, it is very similar to when he met Castiel. "You are worthy of so much more than you believe. I want you because you are Dean Winchester, not because you have no faults, I want you because you have them, I want you because you can't see the good within yourself. I want to make you see it." He shrugs his shoulders at Dean's incredulous stare,
"How do you want me?" he asks, his voice little more than a whisper. Castiel meets his eyes again, stepping far closer than is strictly neccessary and Dean doesn't move, his skin alive with electricity. His next words are practically breathed onto Dean's lips.
"I want you above me, beneath me, beside me, within me, around me, about me, to me, from me, for me, with me and without me." he says, his face flushed, "I want you now, and then, before, after and forever." he takes a shallow breath,
"I want you angry, I want you sad, I want you terrified and I want you trembling. I want you happy, and I want you jealous, I want you clingy and I want you weak." he grasps his hands into the hunter's shoulders.
"I want you strong, I want you confused, I want you to love me, and I want you to hate me, I want you to put me last and let me put you first." Dean feels a wetness flood his eyes and nearly lets it fall.
"I want you to kiss me and I want you to punch me. I want everything, and I want nothing. I want all of you and I want more than that. I want to crawl inside you and I want to be one with you." Their eyes meet for an impossibly long time before the angel continues,
"I want to never be away from you. I want to hate you, I want to love you. I want to argue and I want to fight. I want to touch you and I want to make you scream." Dean feels his breath leave his chest in a sharp hiss.
"I want you to beg and I want you to gasp. I want to stay, and I want you to let me. I want to take care of you and I want to give you everything. I want you in every possible way, so much that it hurts." He finishes his monologue with a downward glance and a distinct flush colors his cheeks.
Dean is speechless, after all, what can one say to something like that? So he just locks their gazes again and says one word, "Okay." He surges forward into his last first kiss. Castiel is nothing if not eager and with a soft whine he is thrusting forward his hands to find purchase in the taller man's hair.
Dean thoughtfully slings Castiel's tie over the doorknob and locks the door. Sam will just have to get another room tonight.
If Sam fails to make eye contact with either one of them for a week after that, no one says a word.