Never let it be said that I'm ungrateful
I went to Iceland with a buddy and had a good time! That's the short version. If you want the long version, you know I can give it to you--haaay. But first I'll make an entry solely about my experience at the airport; something so terrible it doesn't deserve to share the same space as Icelandic adventure.
I followed buddy's advice by getting to the airport three hours early. Despite how foreboding that seemed, the check-in and security took just minutes. I fill my canteen with some water for the long flight ahead, leaving me three hours to sit and do nothing but stare at the floor and listen to my iPod. The only deviation is a small yappy dog inside a zipped mesh pet carrier going ballistic as someone passes by, while its owner stroked the cage either in effort to soothe the animal or enjoy the tactile sensation of man-made fibers. After awhile I grow tired of sitting so I take off my headphones and walk around to look at shops and stuff. I was about 7 gates away by the time an announcement came on saying my plane moved to another terminal, twice as far from where I was. So I turn back, arriving and making myself comfortable just as the terminal changes AGAIN, this time requiring a bus in order to reach it.
I was almost convinced that it would keep moving til the last second like some sort of game they play, but after making small talk with another passenger (exchanging such gems as "wow, this is some bullshit"), boarding officially started.
As far as I know I landed in Boston on time, but I ask information where the terminal is for Icelandair and she says "Terminal E, but you have to hurry because it's about to leave."
DA FUK?
I panic.
"How do I get there?"
She gives me several steps of directions, which I'm terrible at memorizing but my survival instincts kick in or something and I remember every word as she continues to stoke my need for speed. I rush to the bus stop and after an agonizing wait for it to arrive I make a mad dash to the terminal, impeded only by security as I throw everything I own on the conveyor belt. While waiting for my stuff on the other side I hear "bag check on 4" and realize, to my horror, my half-full canteen is being carried away.
"You can't bring liquids on the plane," TSA guy says.
"I know, I forgot to empty it out. It's just water though, can you just pour it out and let me take the bottle?"
"No I can't do that, you'll have to go outside and empty it then come through security again."
n o
I grab my stuff but don't go outside, throwing the contents in one of their trash cans before getting back in line, shoeless and arms full. The wait isn't long, but still wastes precious time as I hear a last call announcement for my plane. Irradiated and irritated, I flee with my belongings only to find out the gate is a hole in the wall past a separate check-in packed with people. All I can think to do is channel my inner halfback and barrel past them--still in my socks--shouting "I HAVE TO GET THROUGH HERE," parting the meat sea and entertaining the masses.
The ticket agent says my name when I approach.
"Yeah, that's me."
"Do you happen to know anything about another passenger on board? They were on the same flight to Iceland."
"No?" Can I go now please?
"Well what time did your plane land?"
"I don't know."
"Do you have an estimate, or?"
I can't pass without throwing some arbitrary number at him, so I come up with something. I mean, I feel bad and all, but damn.
"Okay."
OKAY SO BYE. Having passed the gate I finally put my shoes back on and hurry down the hall. I AM THEN MET WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS ON THE PLANET: a.k.a. Icelandic steward & stewardess. It's like a couple of angels smiling down at me. "Would you like some water?" says the male with a charming accent. "YES THANK YOU" I say, at least I hope I said thanks because I'm frazzled and feel like I just crawled out of the desert. Texas is close enough. Then I make a hasty retreat because I am intimidated not only by their perfection but also a plane teeming with annoyed passengers waiting on my ass.
Once I find my seat I feel at peace for the first time that day, listening to the awesome music on board and taking full advantage of the extra leg-room granted by the empty seat next to me. But peace never lasts long, and I start noticing my wrist's nakedness. You might not know your wrist can feel naked, but it can when you lose the watch you've been wearing. The one that means so much to you. The one you probably left in the Boston security whirlwind.
SO UPSET
STILL UPSET
FOREVER UPSET
I mope and sulk but manage to get half an hour of sleep, which is more than I thought I'd get when I hate everything.
I land in Iceland and everyone's so nice and everything's so shiny that I feel the worst is behind me as I wait for my luggage. And wait. And wait. My cheer wilts with every turn of the carousel that doesn't produce my suitcase. When my heart can take no more of this I give up and ask for help at the lost items desk. I later tell buddy about this only for him to say "Are you sure you were at the right carousel?"
WHAT THE FUCK, THERE'S MORE THAN ONE? Well, there were three in the room, but I checked them all...was there another room?! No one told me, in any case! Oblivious as I was, I fill out all the paperwork and end up missing the bus to my hotel--the next available being two hours later. Greaaat.
Buddy was nice enough to help me out though! Thanks buddy!!! Then Iceland REALLY happened, but that's another post for another time! There's still the return flight to talk about.
I bought a round-trip ticket, but for some reason the self check-in machine just gives me the ticket to Boston. I ask an agent about it and she tells me I'll have to get the ticket to Dallas while I'm there. I planned to complete a tax-free refund before leaving the airport, but the line was so long and slow-moving plus the fear of missing or narrowly missing so many flights made me decide not to risk it. Besides, Iceland could use all the money they can get. There's no other first-world country I'd rather give to, at any rate!
I was just about to get out of line when one of those perfect Icelandic people appeared again. She was running toward me, which was odd but I smile at her. That's when she said "You left your backpack over there!"
Wow, my back sure does feel lighter...Oh shit, I did leave my backpack over there!
She ran to the security checkpoint with me hobbling so far behind I couldn't even thank her properly. I call out "thank you so much". She turns around and smiles. "You're welcome."
THIS IS NICELAND
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE PLEASE ADOPT ME NICE LADY I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T FUNCTION ON MY OWN
So I get on the plane without further incident, cruising the runway like a badass until it decides to stop moving and announce: "We have a technical fault so we're going to stop for maintenance."
Well, okay.
Half an hour passes. "Sorry everyone, it should be completed soon."
I eye the clock as time passes and yeah, I know enough by now to figure out how this goes. I'm not making my next flight. I do get a complimentary sandwich from the crew though, which wasn't half bad and by the time they got around to serving it I was hungry enough to devour a sheep head.
I try to relax even though I have no idea what to do about my next flight, but an announcement when we land informs us that everyone's connecting flights are taken care of and we should all be booked for same day flights out of Boston! Hooray! A nice man I'd been chatting with let me leave ahead of him, because he lived in Boston so he didn't mind waiting. It was rad. He wished me luck but, spoiler alert, it didn't help any. Thanks though, mister.
At this point my legs and feet are still killing me so I can't move very fast, but I give it all I've got. Not that it matters because the customs line is two miles long, I have a hard time finding the terminal I'm supposed to go to, and I waste time standing in line for security only to be turned away because I forgot to get my ticket first. After getting it TSA guy felt so bad he let me cut in line (WHILE OTHERS BEHIND ME AUDIBLY GROANED IN PROTEST). Another nice gesture that didn't really help me advance, but I appreciate every act of kindness all the same. I need it in order to maintain some modicum of sanity.
Here's what happened to me at the ticket counter. The plane departs at 4:35. Ticket guy points this out to me. It was 4:11, so I'm not understanding.
"So it already left?" I guess.
"Yeah, you'll have to buy another ticket."
I would call bullshit but after all I've been through I wouldn't be surprised if the plane left 5 hours earlier. I just want the fuck out of this nightmare, so I pay $75 for another ticket. I'm lucky my card even works because it didn't the day before. Why?? Obviously I had the money, god. So embarrassing. It didn't even occur to me that I could use my new found time to see if there was a lost & found with my watch.
SO UPSET
STILL UPSET
FOREVER UPSET
After all was said and done, ticket dude left me with this helpful nugget of advice: "Try not to be late next time."
END
If you don't want to read crap that serves only to remind me of past mistakes and how to avoid them, then have some cool music instead! Brought to me by Icelandair!
Sykur - Sykur
Apparat Organ Quartet - Sofðu Litla Vél
Bang Gang - Sleep
gusgus - Benched
Steed Lord - Ghost Of Sky
I followed buddy's advice by getting to the airport three hours early. Despite how foreboding that seemed, the check-in and security took just minutes. I fill my canteen with some water for the long flight ahead, leaving me three hours to sit and do nothing but stare at the floor and listen to my iPod. The only deviation is a small yappy dog inside a zipped mesh pet carrier going ballistic as someone passes by, while its owner stroked the cage either in effort to soothe the animal or enjoy the tactile sensation of man-made fibers. After awhile I grow tired of sitting so I take off my headphones and walk around to look at shops and stuff. I was about 7 gates away by the time an announcement came on saying my plane moved to another terminal, twice as far from where I was. So I turn back, arriving and making myself comfortable just as the terminal changes AGAIN, this time requiring a bus in order to reach it.
I was almost convinced that it would keep moving til the last second like some sort of game they play, but after making small talk with another passenger (exchanging such gems as "wow, this is some bullshit"), boarding officially started.
As far as I know I landed in Boston on time, but I ask information where the terminal is for Icelandair and she says "Terminal E, but you have to hurry because it's about to leave."
DA FUK?
I panic.
"How do I get there?"
She gives me several steps of directions, which I'm terrible at memorizing but my survival instincts kick in or something and I remember every word as she continues to stoke my need for speed. I rush to the bus stop and after an agonizing wait for it to arrive I make a mad dash to the terminal, impeded only by security as I throw everything I own on the conveyor belt. While waiting for my stuff on the other side I hear "bag check on 4" and realize, to my horror, my half-full canteen is being carried away.
"You can't bring liquids on the plane," TSA guy says.
"I know, I forgot to empty it out. It's just water though, can you just pour it out and let me take the bottle?"
"No I can't do that, you'll have to go outside and empty it then come through security again."
n o
I grab my stuff but don't go outside, throwing the contents in one of their trash cans before getting back in line, shoeless and arms full. The wait isn't long, but still wastes precious time as I hear a last call announcement for my plane. Irradiated and irritated, I flee with my belongings only to find out the gate is a hole in the wall past a separate check-in packed with people. All I can think to do is channel my inner halfback and barrel past them--still in my socks--shouting "I HAVE TO GET THROUGH HERE," parting the meat sea and entertaining the masses.
The ticket agent says my name when I approach.
"Yeah, that's me."
"Do you happen to know anything about another passenger on board? They were on the same flight to Iceland."
"No?" Can I go now please?
"Well what time did your plane land?"
"I don't know."
"Do you have an estimate, or?"
I can't pass without throwing some arbitrary number at him, so I come up with something. I mean, I feel bad and all, but damn.
"Okay."
OKAY SO BYE. Having passed the gate I finally put my shoes back on and hurry down the hall. I AM THEN MET WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS ON THE PLANET: a.k.a. Icelandic steward & stewardess. It's like a couple of angels smiling down at me. "Would you like some water?" says the male with a charming accent. "YES THANK YOU" I say, at least I hope I said thanks because I'm frazzled and feel like I just crawled out of the desert. Texas is close enough. Then I make a hasty retreat because I am intimidated not only by their perfection but also a plane teeming with annoyed passengers waiting on my ass.
Once I find my seat I feel at peace for the first time that day, listening to the awesome music on board and taking full advantage of the extra leg-room granted by the empty seat next to me. But peace never lasts long, and I start noticing my wrist's nakedness. You might not know your wrist can feel naked, but it can when you lose the watch you've been wearing. The one that means so much to you. The one you probably left in the Boston security whirlwind.
SO UPSET
STILL UPSET
FOREVER UPSET
I mope and sulk but manage to get half an hour of sleep, which is more than I thought I'd get when I hate everything.
I land in Iceland and everyone's so nice and everything's so shiny that I feel the worst is behind me as I wait for my luggage. And wait. And wait. My cheer wilts with every turn of the carousel that doesn't produce my suitcase. When my heart can take no more of this I give up and ask for help at the lost items desk. I later tell buddy about this only for him to say "Are you sure you were at the right carousel?"
WHAT THE FUCK, THERE'S MORE THAN ONE? Well, there were three in the room, but I checked them all...was there another room?! No one told me, in any case! Oblivious as I was, I fill out all the paperwork and end up missing the bus to my hotel--the next available being two hours later. Greaaat.
Buddy was nice enough to help me out though! Thanks buddy!!! Then Iceland REALLY happened, but that's another post for another time! There's still the return flight to talk about.
I bought a round-trip ticket, but for some reason the self check-in machine just gives me the ticket to Boston. I ask an agent about it and she tells me I'll have to get the ticket to Dallas while I'm there. I planned to complete a tax-free refund before leaving the airport, but the line was so long and slow-moving plus the fear of missing or narrowly missing so many flights made me decide not to risk it. Besides, Iceland could use all the money they can get. There's no other first-world country I'd rather give to, at any rate!
I was just about to get out of line when one of those perfect Icelandic people appeared again. She was running toward me, which was odd but I smile at her. That's when she said "You left your backpack over there!"
Wow, my back sure does feel lighter...Oh shit, I did leave my backpack over there!
She ran to the security checkpoint with me hobbling so far behind I couldn't even thank her properly. I call out "thank you so much". She turns around and smiles. "You're welcome."
THIS IS NICELAND
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE PLEASE ADOPT ME NICE LADY I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T FUNCTION ON MY OWN
So I get on the plane without further incident, cruising the runway like a badass until it decides to stop moving and announce: "We have a technical fault so we're going to stop for maintenance."
Well, okay.
Half an hour passes. "Sorry everyone, it should be completed soon."
I eye the clock as time passes and yeah, I know enough by now to figure out how this goes. I'm not making my next flight. I do get a complimentary sandwich from the crew though, which wasn't half bad and by the time they got around to serving it I was hungry enough to devour a sheep head.
I try to relax even though I have no idea what to do about my next flight, but an announcement when we land informs us that everyone's connecting flights are taken care of and we should all be booked for same day flights out of Boston! Hooray! A nice man I'd been chatting with let me leave ahead of him, because he lived in Boston so he didn't mind waiting. It was rad. He wished me luck but, spoiler alert, it didn't help any. Thanks though, mister.
At this point my legs and feet are still killing me so I can't move very fast, but I give it all I've got. Not that it matters because the customs line is two miles long, I have a hard time finding the terminal I'm supposed to go to, and I waste time standing in line for security only to be turned away because I forgot to get my ticket first. After getting it TSA guy felt so bad he let me cut in line (WHILE OTHERS BEHIND ME AUDIBLY GROANED IN PROTEST). Another nice gesture that didn't really help me advance, but I appreciate every act of kindness all the same. I need it in order to maintain some modicum of sanity.
Here's what happened to me at the ticket counter. The plane departs at 4:35. Ticket guy points this out to me. It was 4:11, so I'm not understanding.
"So it already left?" I guess.
"Yeah, you'll have to buy another ticket."
I would call bullshit but after all I've been through I wouldn't be surprised if the plane left 5 hours earlier. I just want the fuck out of this nightmare, so I pay $75 for another ticket. I'm lucky my card even works because it didn't the day before. Why?? Obviously I had the money, god. So embarrassing. It didn't even occur to me that I could use my new found time to see if there was a lost & found with my watch.
SO UPSET
STILL UPSET
FOREVER UPSET
After all was said and done, ticket dude left me with this helpful nugget of advice: "Try not to be late next time."
END
If you don't want to read crap that serves only to remind me of past mistakes and how to avoid them, then have some cool music instead! Brought to me by Icelandair!
Sykur - Sykur
Apparat Organ Quartet - Sofðu Litla Vél
Bang Gang - Sleep
gusgus - Benched
Steed Lord - Ghost Of Sky