Now THAT was a birthday party.
There’s a mask hanging on my wall. It’s half black and half yellow, the colors of my Killjoy’s badge. It wasn’t made to be worn, not really. But I had it with me in Denver, I tucked it into my bag and carried it along with me like a secret revolutionary going to a meeting, and it my password.
After the personal failure of St. Louis last December, I wanted nothing more than to make the show in Denver a perfect one. I wanted to walk away from it knowing I had been in a magic circle all evening -- but I also knew that nothing else I could do would be as effective as simply trusting that the magic would be there. For me, that’s what being a Killjoy is truly about. It’s the creation of your future, made by simply walking forward into it, no matter what might lie in your path. No matter where you might be coming from.
So. Philosophy aside, I put Danger Days on repeat, tucked my mask into my bag, and headed off into the night, and the west.
It wasn’t easy! The bus broke down along the way, and we were stranded for a few hours (fortunately, the truck stop had a Starbucks). anna_unfolding was mobilizing the MCRmy for a rescue on my behalf (I’m still so impressed!), I was wondering if I could trade in on the fact that I’m a trucker’s daughter to hitch a ride the five hours up the road I needed to go (or maybe that cute guy on the sportsbike could be persuaded...? *cougary grin*), and then the castaways were back on the road. I got in at 1:30 A.M. and headed straight over to the venue.
fuschia and I spent the day there, and really, that’s fully half the reason the day was so amazing right there. We met some really great people (waves to frog4), ate donuts and mini-croissants, watched the sunrise illuminate the neighborhood, quaked in fear from the Panda of Wonders (not to be confused with Wonder Panda™), watched the buses come in, adopted a son (here's his band; everyone, go check it out! I listened to some tracks today and they’re really good!), and was gawked at by pretty much half of the city. *heh*
The mood turned ugly a couple hours before the doors were set to open, with what amounted to venue-sanctioned line-jumping for the sake of a few extra bucks. I won’t go into it further here, since in the end, it didn’t affect my show at all, and probably helped me refocus on what being there meant to me.
The two of us found our spot on the barrier as if it had been waiting for us - that sweet spot right between Ray’s mic stand and Gerard’s. Our location’s only flaw was revealed with the first band, The Architects - we also seemed to be at the exact spot where the guitar amps completely drowned out the vocalist. So I don’t know what that guy sounded like. But the guitar was great! Actually, I watched the drummer mostly. He was like a little kid, grinning out at the crowd from behind his drum kit. I couldn’t help but grin back. :)
Neon Trees was a surprise, to say the least. Still couldn’t make out much of what the vocalist was doing, but the guitars were great! Ha. But oh man, talk about a flashback. I had no idea they were going to be an 80’s synth band. They got the crowd going though and that swept me right along. There’s nothing like the feel of music on your skin, and in your bones.
And maybe the two bands drew the circle around everyone, because when the door in the wings opened and the guys came out onto the stage, we were between the worlds.
My main memories of the show are of Gerard; the birthday boy was so bouncy! Of course, he made us sing “Happy Birthday” a few times (but never let us get all the way through the song. Good thing The Architects had led us in a rousing chorus during their set!), and there were other shenanigans (I still can’t figure out if Ray was goofing off about hurting his foot or not...), but from where I stood, the spotlight was always on Gerard.
My favorite moments are small ones: his air-guitar face during the Noise Rock interlude, and the exuberant jumping during Planetary (GO!), and spitting out a full mouthful of water at Frank, hitting him right in the face and making him laugh out loud. He was smiling out at the crowd and talking to us, dancing and shimmying, dropping to his knees during Famous Last Words and rubbing his belly to illustrate the line “sing it out for the ones who hate your guts” during SING. I was talking with a linemate afterwards, asking him what he thought of the show since it was his first MCR concert, and he was so excited by the fact that Gerard had made eye contact with him. I think that’s one reason why Gerard is so captivating as a frontman - he has the ability to pull you into the show, he makes it personal. You feel as though he isn’t just seeing the crowd, he’s also seeing individuals in the crowd, he sees you. Truly amazing.
Of course, standing where we were, it was impossible not to be blown away by Ray! Especially during that rock interlude, that just unleashed him. He was truly in full-on Rock God form. But he was also so responsive, not only playing around with the guys onstage, but beaming out at us almost constantly, and giving us thumbs-up whenever we did something he approved of. It was impossible not to smile when watching him do his thing.
The show was like one long golden timeless moment, and even the wait between the set and the encore was effortless, and rewarded by James coming out and playing a long noodling riff on the melody to Cancer. It was beautiful. I can’t remember now if they did two or three songs for the encore - I thought it was three, but all the set lists posted online only have two songs. And I could swear I remember hearing Thank You for the Venom, and no one lists that on a set list...but then, we were in a magic circle, after all. You can’t be expected to remember everything that happens when you’re underhill. :)
But I do remember that when they started Vampire Money, the crowd had each response memorized, and I could see the grins on everyone’s faces as their answers were drowned out by our voices speaking their lines. I was happy to hear DESTROYA - I think that’s probably one of my current favorites - and SING is becoming very special to me, as well. I loved that they played a cover for Gerard’s birthday, and that Gerard is still howling at the beginning of House of Wolves, the goof.
It was exactly what I needed it to be, it was truly a perfect show. I lost all sense of myself while the band played, only knew that I was with friends, both at my side and on the stage. The next day, I realized my cheek muscles were stiff because I had smiled all night long.
And when it was over, and we were leaving the venue on wobbly legs and with fizzy hearts, there was no disappointment that it was done. I was too filled up with the night to feel anything but content. And later, standing in the dark and watching the last bus pull out and down the road, the contentment was with me still. I love going to My Chem shows; they are always different, every show contains its own energy and sometimes I catch it and sometimes I don’t. Mostly I do. Every once in awhile, there is something extra there, some spark on top of the shiny, something that makes me grin even right now, days later. Every once in awhile, the show is perfect, the show is magic.
I’m still wearing my Killjoy jacket, walking around town in it. It’s not that I’m pretending to be my Killjoy character (She still won’t tell me her name! Geez!), it’s more that somewhere during those hours on the pavement in front of the Fillmore, and during those hours in front of the stage inside, I stepped into a new season and became a new self. It’s a small change, but I can feel it. It feels like my inner compass is working again.
After the personal failure of St. Louis last December, I wanted nothing more than to make the show in Denver a perfect one. I wanted to walk away from it knowing I had been in a magic circle all evening -- but I also knew that nothing else I could do would be as effective as simply trusting that the magic would be there. For me, that’s what being a Killjoy is truly about. It’s the creation of your future, made by simply walking forward into it, no matter what might lie in your path. No matter where you might be coming from.
So. Philosophy aside, I put Danger Days on repeat, tucked my mask into my bag, and headed off into the night, and the west.
It wasn’t easy! The bus broke down along the way, and we were stranded for a few hours (fortunately, the truck stop had a Starbucks). anna_unfolding was mobilizing the MCRmy for a rescue on my behalf (I’m still so impressed!), I was wondering if I could trade in on the fact that I’m a trucker’s daughter to hitch a ride the five hours up the road I needed to go (or maybe that cute guy on the sportsbike could be persuaded...? *cougary grin*), and then the castaways were back on the road. I got in at 1:30 A.M. and headed straight over to the venue.
fuschia and I spent the day there, and really, that’s fully half the reason the day was so amazing right there. We met some really great people (waves to frog4), ate donuts and mini-croissants, watched the sunrise illuminate the neighborhood, quaked in fear from the Panda of Wonders (not to be confused with Wonder Panda™), watched the buses come in, adopted a son (here's his band; everyone, go check it out! I listened to some tracks today and they’re really good!), and was gawked at by pretty much half of the city. *heh*
The mood turned ugly a couple hours before the doors were set to open, with what amounted to venue-sanctioned line-jumping for the sake of a few extra bucks. I won’t go into it further here, since in the end, it didn’t affect my show at all, and probably helped me refocus on what being there meant to me.
The two of us found our spot on the barrier as if it had been waiting for us - that sweet spot right between Ray’s mic stand and Gerard’s. Our location’s only flaw was revealed with the first band, The Architects - we also seemed to be at the exact spot where the guitar amps completely drowned out the vocalist. So I don’t know what that guy sounded like. But the guitar was great! Actually, I watched the drummer mostly. He was like a little kid, grinning out at the crowd from behind his drum kit. I couldn’t help but grin back. :)
Neon Trees was a surprise, to say the least. Still couldn’t make out much of what the vocalist was doing, but the guitars were great! Ha. But oh man, talk about a flashback. I had no idea they were going to be an 80’s synth band. They got the crowd going though and that swept me right along. There’s nothing like the feel of music on your skin, and in your bones.
And maybe the two bands drew the circle around everyone, because when the door in the wings opened and the guys came out onto the stage, we were between the worlds.
My main memories of the show are of Gerard; the birthday boy was so bouncy! Of course, he made us sing “Happy Birthday” a few times (but never let us get all the way through the song. Good thing The Architects had led us in a rousing chorus during their set!), and there were other shenanigans (I still can’t figure out if Ray was goofing off about hurting his foot or not...), but from where I stood, the spotlight was always on Gerard.
My favorite moments are small ones: his air-guitar face during the Noise Rock interlude, and the exuberant jumping during Planetary (GO!), and spitting out a full mouthful of water at Frank, hitting him right in the face and making him laugh out loud. He was smiling out at the crowd and talking to us, dancing and shimmying, dropping to his knees during Famous Last Words and rubbing his belly to illustrate the line “sing it out for the ones who hate your guts” during SING. I was talking with a linemate afterwards, asking him what he thought of the show since it was his first MCR concert, and he was so excited by the fact that Gerard had made eye contact with him. I think that’s one reason why Gerard is so captivating as a frontman - he has the ability to pull you into the show, he makes it personal. You feel as though he isn’t just seeing the crowd, he’s also seeing individuals in the crowd, he sees you. Truly amazing.
Of course, standing where we were, it was impossible not to be blown away by Ray! Especially during that rock interlude, that just unleashed him. He was truly in full-on Rock God form. But he was also so responsive, not only playing around with the guys onstage, but beaming out at us almost constantly, and giving us thumbs-up whenever we did something he approved of. It was impossible not to smile when watching him do his thing.
The show was like one long golden timeless moment, and even the wait between the set and the encore was effortless, and rewarded by James coming out and playing a long noodling riff on the melody to Cancer. It was beautiful. I can’t remember now if they did two or three songs for the encore - I thought it was three, but all the set lists posted online only have two songs. And I could swear I remember hearing Thank You for the Venom, and no one lists that on a set list...but then, we were in a magic circle, after all. You can’t be expected to remember everything that happens when you’re underhill. :)
But I do remember that when they started Vampire Money, the crowd had each response memorized, and I could see the grins on everyone’s faces as their answers were drowned out by our voices speaking their lines. I was happy to hear DESTROYA - I think that’s probably one of my current favorites - and SING is becoming very special to me, as well. I loved that they played a cover for Gerard’s birthday, and that Gerard is still howling at the beginning of House of Wolves, the goof.
It was exactly what I needed it to be, it was truly a perfect show. I lost all sense of myself while the band played, only knew that I was with friends, both at my side and on the stage. The next day, I realized my cheek muscles were stiff because I had smiled all night long.
And when it was over, and we were leaving the venue on wobbly legs and with fizzy hearts, there was no disappointment that it was done. I was too filled up with the night to feel anything but content. And later, standing in the dark and watching the last bus pull out and down the road, the contentment was with me still. I love going to My Chem shows; they are always different, every show contains its own energy and sometimes I catch it and sometimes I don’t. Mostly I do. Every once in awhile, there is something extra there, some spark on top of the shiny, something that makes me grin even right now, days later. Every once in awhile, the show is perfect, the show is magic.
I’m still wearing my Killjoy jacket, walking around town in it. It’s not that I’m pretending to be my Killjoy character (She still won’t tell me her name! Geez!), it’s more that somewhere during those hours on the pavement in front of the Fillmore, and during those hours in front of the stage inside, I stepped into a new season and became a new self. It’s a small change, but I can feel it. It feels like my inner compass is working again.