31.

[silverfringe]

Potter.

Your owl. My owl.

Why.

Comments

[solitusvir]

You're joking.

[silverfringe]

Am I.

[solitusvir]

Malfoy, tell your owl to get off mine!!

[solitusvir]

If your owl hurts her, I am going to pound you into some sort of Malfoy powder.

[silverfringe]

I can't control my sodding owl, Potter. And I'd like to see you try.

Look, just. Put yours in a cage or something. She didn't look as if she was complaining.

[solitusvir]

Why not? He's your owl!

Hedwig doesn't like her cage! She'd complain about it and make a lot of noise if I do.

[silverfringe]

Yes, and he's been taught to obey when it comes to delivering parcels and messages, not neglecting his primal urges or whatever the fuck is going on here.

Well, then, I suppose we have ourselves a bit of a dilemma. Not that I mind if my owl impregnates your owl, but honestly, did I have to walk in on the foreplay?

[solitusvir]

I still don't see why he wouldn't listen to you.

I mind! Your owl is not getting Hedwig pregnant! I need her to deliever my letters! Your owl can't just -- just fly in and give her babies! Why couldn't it have been your owl?!

[silverfringe]

Because he's an animal, Potter, and he has free will, just like you or I. He obeys only when it comes to what he was trained to do.

...

Because. It is anatomically impossi -- never mind, you can't be serious.

[solitusvir]

Well, maybe he'll think about it if you asked him nicely to stop!

No, but it would be so much easier! Why couldn't it have been him instead?

If Hedwig is pregnant, I'm using your owl.

[silverfringe]

... You might talk to your owl, but I really don't. That sort of thing leads to insanity.

Him. Him. That's why.

You are not. Use a school owl.

[solitusvir]

Hedwig is a very intelligent animal! Lots of people talk to their pets all the time.

Then I want child support.

[silverfringe]

Lots of people end up in St. Mungo's.

... Sure, Potter. I'll pay you in owl treats.

[solitusvir]

They usually aren't in the same group.

You're also going to help me take care of them. There will probably be more than one and -- I hate you and your owl.

[silverfringe]

You just assumed that.

Neither of us will be taking care of them, you twit. Owls aren't like dogs. The mother takes care of the things until they can fly, and then they're on their own. Hogwarts will simply have more owls than they started out with.

[solitusvir]

I'm pretty sure I'm right though.

But what if I need her to send a letter? I am not going to use the school owls.