Sorrow

[silverfoxmzdm]

It is 8:05 AM, Saturday morning. We are headed to Louisiana to say our last good byes to my dad. He is on life support and it says in his will that he does not wish this.

I am not sure when we will be back but we will.

A Common Man is passing the torch on to another. Pray they are just as good.

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[silverfoxmzdm]

Daddy was not able to hold on and died at 11 AM Saturday morning. He waited till momma left because he did not wish her to suffer in seeing him pass. She had sat with him all night and had just arrived home when the call came. Momma had watched as my grandmother died and I know daddy did not wish her to go through that again.

What lay in the casket was not my daddy but the husk of a man who has been allowed to suffer and die without dignity. We made sure he had that at his funeral as we played his beloved classical music and remembered him with relatives. There was laughter and tears but in the end, daddy would have enjoyed it.

I believe daddy put obstacles in our way just to make sure our minds were clear. He hated tears and many of the emotions that went with them. He constantly told us to turn off the water works because it was harming no one but ourselves. I cried so hard Friday that I went into an asthma attack but once we were there I managed to hold the worst in and kept from breaking down in front of everyone. Well, almost.

When we were seated for the services I lost it for a few moments. My family gathered round and held me as I cried in my momma's arms. Her words are what calmed me down enough to make it through. Now that I am home the tears and sorrow made themselves known as my husband held me for over an hour.

Daddy is in peace now that he is no longer in such pain. Unfortunately he had lost so much weight he no longer looked himself. In two months he had gone from 210 lbs to 160. When he contracted the flu, his body could no longer fight back.

Things are slowly getting back to normal now that all of this is behind us though now we worry for momma. With the two heart attacks before Christmas and the one artery/vein that has yet to be stinted.... well, either or, we worry.

I believe I have rambled enough and now I will try to catch up with life. It is what daddy would have wanted.

Thank you for the support. I needed it during this time and will need it in the future.