The Picklesworth Legacy 7.1
We have a brown-eyed founder and a silver-eyed soon-to-be spouse. THE ODDS ARE MOST CERTAINLY IN OUR FAVOUR.
Upon her return to the legacy house one cold winter evening, Ivy immediately snatches up the first stray to walk on the lot. Now, keep in mind that I am merely ATTEMPTING this LTW. I make no promises! Do not get your hopes up at the thought of little paws constantly running about the lot. Do not expect there to be many bonding moments à la Pokémon. THIS LTW WAS DOOMED TO FAIL FROM THE START I TELL YOU. DX
Bee-tee-dubya, this little guy's name is Ronroneo, which I believe means 'purring' in Spanish? Ninth grade was ~aaaaages ago but just lookit his little scraggly self! He's got the sleekness that all the ladies love.
Helene: YESSSSSS. A nose-shaped stand. Just what I always wanted!
I figured it couldn't hurt to at least try and get Ivy's MIGHTY NEED FOR PET MINIONS FRIENDS underway. And since there are a buttload of reward points just hanging around idly in some of the older family members' inventories, probably getting lazy and bored with life, I put them to good use.
Ronroneo: EVERYTHING THE ARTIFICIAL LIGHT TOUCHES IS MY KINGDOM.
Everything is set up for the wedding. Excitement abounds! Everyone's happy! I just re-watched the episode 1 of season 3 of Downton Abbey and my friends were all excited and so was I until I remembered the Christmas special and ohgaaawwwd
James: 'Eeeey, guess it'll be my wedding next! Right? Right? Ehehehe.
All that comes to my mind in this photo is that I should decorate the hood some more.
Scott: Hey there, Mrs. P! If you need a wedding band, I also moonlight as a solo guitarist in between waiting tables!
Helene: Do I know you?
HAHAHAHAHAHA Oh, unexplained family relations. They always bring a tear of mirth to my eye.
And of course, our lovely groom arrives fresh out of the college oven. Hi John Rhodes!
I do love that Ivy grew up into a lovely green dress all on her own. C:
James: Dude, where are your shoes?
Geoff: LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY IT IS TRADITION
Thank goodness the newlyweds are too wrapped up in each other to pay attention to the rabble rabble of the bride's zany relatives. There's always that one family. Chances are, if you are part of a legacy family, you ARE that one family. C;
Although I should count myself lucky that my legacy family is always happy and tight-knight at reunions. And here I thought legacies were supposed to be full of sibling fights and aspiration failures. AM I DOING IT WRONG? *LE GASP*
I jest, I jest. *Dons jingly hat and pirouettes around the living room*
And now, buttercream frosting for all and sundry!
NICOLA. Cackling like a mad witch and skulking about the back door? FOR SHAME, WOMAN. You're lucky I cleverly placed the garden gnome in a corner. I AM ONTO YOU ALL.
Geez, what is this, a conspiracy? Do gnomes sell at ridiculously high prices on the Sim black market? Are they a rare commodity? I AM SO BEMUSED, SIMNATION.
My desire for lovely outdoor wedding pictures with everyone dressed at their best was THWARTED by the wintery season. Stupid practical jackets and warming boots. I WANTED SILKS AND BOWTIES DAMMIT.
Scott: Excuse me? I came to your wedding and your delicious sex crumpet mother is at WORK!?
Yeaaah. I did not plan that well but Helene and Catalina were sadly called by the pull of their cars. Not sure why Scott is fuming like a kettle, though. O.o Surely he knows that her husband lives in this house?
Ivy: But I thought you were here for me. :(
Cesar: Don't worry, honey. Your mother and grandmother are very proud of you and I'm so happy I got to see you get married.
Scott: *Fumes in the corner*
If there was any doubt that I made the wrong choice in spouse for Catalina... THEY HAVE ALL BEEN CLEARED AWAY LIKE BAD FARTS. You go, Cesar. You get a #1 Dad mug and everything!
Meanwhile, half of the guests managed to create a traffic jam in the bathroom, and cause a flood. And Geoff has literally cornered himself, dreaming of my other legacy founder for some reason or another. Oh, Sims. Never change. <3 Unless we're talking about TS4 because who knows what changes there'll be but I shall leave that can of worms only slightly open for now
John is very enthusiastic in getting to know his new relatives but perhaps he shouldn't have picked the ones currently watching TV to strike up a conversation with.
Nicola: *Trying very hard not to brush him off, omg look at that face*
Nigel: Congrats, sis! It will be my turn very soon...
*Shudders* Never let anyone tell you that Family Sims can't make creepy faces.
That's because there were no fighting mascots this time. *Nods*
Ivy: Ronroneo! You missed it, man! We got free kibbles n' shit. It was GREAT!
John has proven to be an animal person. Perhaps this will help Ivy in her long-running quest. Or perhaps I'm just deluding myself into thinking I'll ever finish this. *sob*
Catalina: I know, right!? She wants 20 pet BFFs! Why couldn't she just want 20 guys like I did? You just have to play with them once!
See? Everyone agrees with me that this is a ludicrous dream.
Now THIS want, I can gladly fulfill for you. ;D
Speaking of which, show everyone your new threads, John!
John: NO PHOTOS PLEASE. Sheesh, you marry into a legacy family and all of a sudden, everyone wants a picture.
Family dinner photo! Minus Catalina who is still busy wrangling clams. You know, after failing to reproduce a famous clam painting. She clearly has it in for those little mollusks.
Anyway: BABIES. MAKE ME BABIES. CHOP CHOP.
Excellent. *Steeples fingers*
Ivy: Oh Gawwwwd, I don't feel well. Do I have to play with the dog?
I am trying here. I AM TRYING SO HARD. *Slams self bodily into plush, comfortable couch to minimize damage*
My lovely Calvin Klein-esque elderly couple are still going strong and plucking at my heartstrings like a particularly skilled guitarist! <3 And now I have the urge to listen to some flamenco music. *Scatterbrained silvereriena is scatterbrained*
Watch as Ivy's belly performs an *NSync song off of their third album Celebrity!
The downside to having tumbled with the gardener is that he now wants to hang out after work regardless of whether Catalina is at home or not. NO SIR THE ONLY HEDGES YOU'LL BE TRIMMING ARE THE ONES OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE THANK YOU.
Catalina: STRIKE A POSE
*Le Gasp* Is there a dance music fest?
Oh. Oh, never mind. Someone set the mac and cheese ablaze.
Firefighter: GUYS, SERIOUSLY. HOW DO YOU BURN MAC AND CHEESE
Catalina: *Sort of subtly ogling fireman's derriere*
Thank God the pregnant Sim in the house was sleeping and away from the kitchen. The last thing I need is something to murder Ivy's motive bars, not when she's been having such a smooth pregnancy so far!
But then she goes and BURNS THE PANCAKES AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH. WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FAMILY'S COOKING PROWESS. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY OF YOU WANT TO BE IRON CHEFS.
One second firefighter visit later, the rest of Gen. 5 and 6 are back at the house, oblivious to the sizzling smell of suffocating smoke wafting from the kitchen.
Actually there is more burning in the kitchen! A full set of candles atop some sugary, sugary spongey foodstuffs. Yes, it's Catalina's birthday. Time for our lusty siren to become a silver-haired lusty siren!
Dario: WOOOOOH! AND I GET TO BE YOUNG FOREVER!
BEEP. WRONG. This is a legacy with spare updates, my man. Your time will come sometime next week. Same Sim time, same Sim channel!
Catalina: I wish to retain my libido!
PFFFFFF girl, I have ACR installed. I don't think you have to worry about that at all. ;D
One last look at my lovely BB in all of her fresh-faced youth! <3
A little wrinklier around the eyes, sure. But still very lovely!
Grim: Oh hey! I didn't know there was a party going on here.
NO ONE INVITED YOU.
And then: TRAGEDY.
Grim: You're going up there with me, buddy. I've got a fool-proof drink bribe that's guaranteed to reel you in!
Ivy: EXCUSE ME LADIES MY GRANDPA HAS TO BE ALIVE UNTIL MY BABY IS BORN I AM NOT DONE WITH HIM YET.
Sadly, this is out of my control and he looks so happy to go. Bye, Amos! You accomplished all that you ever wanted to accomplish in life! Thanks for being such a great spouse! <3
And then my already rich family just flew into Sim-Bill Gates levels of financery (that is totally a word. Totally).
The grieving process is immediate and lengthy.
Nigel: Everyone, if we just all hang loose I'm sure we'll feel better!
Everyone else: *SOBS*
Attempts to be helpful are heartwarming but ultimately futile. :(
Ivy: GRANDPAAAAAAAAAAAA
Helene: Hey! You think you can just nab my husband and get away with it? Grrrr...
O____O Don't look at me, I didn't take him anywhere! Except out into the backyard.
What do I do? Pull out ice-cream from the fridge? They'll just sob into it and nobody likes salted gelato! I think... Well, I have a mother who went through a phase of putting salt in her pepsi so what do I know.
WHAT. NOW?
Grim: Yeah, I just had to finish the paperwork with her husband and now it's her turn. I'm nothing if not punctual.
Helene was happy to be reunited with Amos, but the double blow was just very hard on the rest of the family. Except for Naomi who prefers to stay in Denial Happy Land. It's a little worrying, actually.
Oh, wait! Nevermind! She handed the keys to Denial Happy Land's gates to Dario and has now proceeded to sob. The healing process is just very slow this time around.
RIP Amos and Helene. You were a lovely combination of kickass and sweet. May your ghosts clean the toilets of your descendants rather than wet their pants.
Well, with all of the deaths happening I think it's time we had some good news for a change. GENERATION 7 OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE COME THIS FAR.
Red hair? Brown eyes? *PUNCHES THE AIR SO HARD YOU CAN HEAR THE ATMOSPHERE GASP* YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Say hello to little Tommy! He is named after Tommy Pickles from Rugrats, suggested to me by cityjuggler on tumblr.
John: HELLO SON. YOUR EARS ARE STILL VERY SMALL SO I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR ME!
ACR wastes no time. NO TIME AT ALL. Dayum, she didn't even need a few days to recuperate or anything!
Oh, OK. I guess everyone is just feeling extra frisky because... baby in the house? *Shrug*
Ivy: Hello, kitty! Guess who just had a kid?
Speaking of which, who's taking care of said kid at the moment?
Nanny: WHEEEEEEEEE
Sound the alarm!
Yes, I know Dodger is the other family baby but he is pretty much autonomous, lady! Can you go pick up the wiggly thing in the crib and feed him please? Preeeeetty please?
No one can resist Dodger, not even the mailwoman. He's just too big of a sweetie pie. *Has sudden and mad urge to cuddle a dog*
Nanny: Time to go on a magic carpet ride!
This is not the whole new world I was hoping he'd get to know.
Tommy: Wow, this is boring.
Sssshhhh, you only just got here!
He gets his revenge as soon as the nanny picks him up again. BOOM. RIGHT IN THE OCULAR ORGANS.
Nanny: I'VE BEEN BLINDED BY BABY SPEW
Hazards of the job, lady. Surely you read the fine print when you signed up for this?
And that's when I decided Ivy didn't need a job anyway. She can stay at home and just stalk any unsuspecting stray that wanders by the lot! Oh, and raise her kids I guess.
And I do mean kids, plural.
But that'll be for next time. Thanks for reading!