Even Then, Even Now... (Chapter 4)
Chapter 4: TADAIMA
"Welcome back!"
"I’m home..."
Sho replied with a smile, proceeding in changing his shoes to house slippers.
The other man in the house moved closer to the genkan, leaning his weight on the closest wall as he observed Sho, and then asked, "What took you so long?"
Sho had a mischievous smile as he heard the other man's query. When he stood straight up, he was met with a sight of a raised eyebrow under the other man’s black-rimmed glasses. Sho ignored it, and without a word, he came forward, trapping completely the other man between him and the wall.
"Missing me so soon..." Sho whispered before leaning in, and ghosting his lips against the other man's as he finished, "...Matsumoto Jun?"
Before Jun could even say another word, Sho kissed Jun properly, intruding his tongue in one go. Jun yelped in surprise, but the sudden aggressiveness in Sho's kiss seemed to be welcomed nonetheless. Sho pulled away a moment later, leaving Jun breathless, yet he kept on leaving chaste kisses in any part of Jun's face where Sho's lips could land on. He took the glass away from Jun's clammy hand, putting it in the nearest surface he could reach. Judging with how loosely Jun was holding it, it could fall down any moment. Jun flashed him a thankful smile.
Sho removed Jun’s black-rimmed glasses next because they were in the way. Aside from that, he wanted to see Jun’s beautiful eyes looking back at him, reflecting him. He cupped Jun's cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. His other hand was in Jun's waist, keeping them close to each other.
There were no words exchanged between them. Sho just held Jun's hand, guiding him towards the bedroom, and Jun just followed with no qualms or protests.
The moment they reached the bed, Sho sat down on it, his back against the headboard while pulling Jun to sit down in his lap. Still there were no objections coming from Jun’s mouth despite how uncomfortable it could be for the younger male. He only had his eyes closed as he waited, his body fully relaxed, and his breaths were calm.
Sho reached for Jun’s cheek again, before settling his hand in the junction connecting the neck and shoulder. He rubbed his thumb against Jun’s collarbone, earning a soft moan from Jun.
When Jun opened his eyes, Sho leaned in for a kiss. Their kisses were soft and unhurried, their hands finding themselves around each other, Jun’s around Sho’s shoulders, while Sho’s around Jun’s waist. It seemed no one wanted it in any other way. They were savoring each moment, trying to make it last.
It was when Sho settled his head against Jun's neck did he heard Jun's whisper, soft and delicate, “I love you, Sho.”
It maybe exaggeration to say that he was in verge of tears upon hearing it, but so much passion was overflowing with those words. Innocence and sincerity were meshed in just four words.
It was true that out of the two of them, Jun was more open with his emotions. When he was uncomfortable with something, it would show in his face. There were even times he would frankly say it out loud. But there were still the times when Jun would act numb with everything. No matter how tough things would get, he would face it with a straight face. He was Mr. Stoic after all. Maybe the fact that only to him did Jun showed such vulnerability made him more giddy and thankful at the same time because it meant that Jun trusted him, with all of his, his good and bad sides, his ups and downs. And it just made him to fall in love over and over again to the younger male, even then...
They were just entering the first months of their relationship. With all honesty, Sho was still reluctant with how everything went. Wasn’t it said that when you’re in a relationship, everything will drastically change?
Yet there was none. Maybe they did spend a lot of time in each other's homes more frequently, except Sho thought it was something best of friends could also do. So that didn't count right?
It wasn't like Sho was asking for something big. As said before, they were just starting, but for some reason, Sho was looking for something that would set them apart from how they were before when they weren't in the 'relationship' yet. Was it really too much to ask?
Maybe that was the reason why he popped the question out of the blue when he was in Jun's apartment.
"Should we move in together?"
It was a simple question, but it carried a lot of weight than one could imagine. They were in the couch, a movie was playing in the screen, yet no one bothered to actually pay attention to it. Sho was researching about something in the internet and Jun was reading a book. When Sho asked the question, Jun was flustered, looking at him in disbelief.
"Are you serious right now?" Jun asked, looking sharply at Sho. On the other hand, Sho was nonchalant like it was the most normal thing to ask. Wasn't it? They were a couple after all.
Sho then had a second thought. Judging with how Jun reacted, it meant the younger male wasn't ready yet.
"Sorry, I think-,"
"I don't mind honestly." Jun cut him.
When Sho looked at the younger male, Jun was contemplating as he put his book down. He sighed then looked back straight to Sho, "I wasn't really just expecting you're the one who's going to ask me." Jun stated. An easy smile was on his face.
"Well..." Sho paused, looking away and lost in thought for a moment until he felt his arm being lifted and placed above the headrest of the sofa. Jun’s back was already against his side and Jun’s head was lying idly at Sho’s upper arm. For a moment, Sho did feel that they were dating, that they were actually ‘exclusively dating’. He couldn’t help but grin, encircling his arm around Jun to pull him closer.
“Well?” Jun asked as a follow-up and that snapped Sho back to the topic they were talking about.
“I just thought it was probably the time to do so.”
Jun hummed in response. Sho waited, unconsciously rubbing Jun’s upper arm with his hand.
“I guess I could contact a friend of mine from a real state, and then we could decide from then on. What do you say?” Jun suggested.
Sho was silent again, looking at his computer but not really seeing it. He was deep in thoughts, weighing whether to go for it, or retract what he said. Jun’s words didn’t exactly clarify whether he was excited for this or not. Still, it was worth the shot.
“Yeah, I like the sound of that.” Sho agreed at the end. It couldn't be that bad right?
Yet it was actually easier said than done. Aside from their busy schedules, it was hard to be together and not be seen. So how they managed to find a good place and furniture they both like was a miracle and a hard work. It took them time, and truthfully also a couple of petty fights.
("You got to be kidding me? You want gray color for the kitchen?"
"Wait, why are we buying a lot of drawers?"
"Bookshelves again? I thought the ones we brought were already enough?
"Are we really going for black king size bed?")
None of it did actually turn into something serious because one knew how to succumb to the other's wishes. They compromised, met each other in middle like there was diplomacy between them. Sho thought it was enough to make this relationship work, it wasn’t really.
Sho had been in his study room. With all the reports he need to look first before actually reporting it for News Zero, he needed silence as a companion in order to concentrate. But then...
“Bang! Boom! Bang!”
“What the-?”
He instantly went out of his room frightened, thinking that something bad had happen. All he found though was Jun in the sofa, watching a sci-fi movie in the screen.
“MATSUMOTO! WHAT THE HELL?” Sho yelled, not being able to control his temper.
“Huh? What happened?” Jun asked, completely flabbergasted.
From then on, words exchanged between escalated in a whole new different meaning, a different argument. It may be the exhaustion from their packed schedules that fogged up their minds they ended up saying things they didn’t meant... or maybe they just said what they have been keeping inside?
“You don’t love me at all do you?!?” Jun said, tears already flowing out of his eyes.
Sho’s eyes widened. He felt disbelief and disappointment, but worse of all, he felt hurt. “I can’t believe you!” He groaned and made a bee line towards the door, getting his keys, phone and wallet along the way.
“See, you didn’t even say anything! You’ll just leave because there was no reason for you to stay!” Jun said, following suit. “Maybe you just went all out to me because you feel pity. You knew I was heads over heels over you! And you are just Mr. Nice-Guy Sakurai Sho to make my wishes come true.” Jun continued, exaggerating each word.
Jun’s words were venomous in Sho’s ears, and Sho could feel tears prickling his eyes, threatening to fall every minute now. He just opened the door, and grumbled before closing it, “I’m leaving.”
Sho didn’t know where his feet had taken him. He was in automatic and before he knew it, he was already in front of his friend’s music shop. He smiled bitterly upon remembering when he last brought Jun here. It was also the time when he confessed to Jun everything.
“Might as well go inside,” He muttered to himself. He didn’t really have any place to go. Other members’ homes weren’t an option, and so did going to his parents’ house. He went inside with his spare key, and like he usually does, he went to the grand piano placed in the back part of the shop. He sat in front of it, caressing the ivory keys before pressing it. He had a melody playing at first, but it faded into silence because he couldn’t continue. Tears were already pouring out of him. He was too hurt with what Jun had said.
Weren’t Sho’s intentions clear? Did Jun really believed that he was only there because of pity, out of obligation, and not because he really loved Jun? Of course, knowing Jun had loved him even before sent him happiness, except Jun believed that he didn’t love the latter back, and that hurt even more.
Sho laid his head against the keyboard, pressing random keys as he let his mind wonder, and then it hit him.
Sho remembered how Jun looked at him when he was leaving, the meaning hidden behind Jun's words, those pleading eyes behind those tears.
Please, don’t leave me. Just tell me that you love me.
“How could I miss that?” Sho growled, angry at his self. He was about to stand up and come back, but another thought came to him. “What will I tell him now?" He asked himself because truthfully, he didn’t know yet what words to say that will justify everything that was happening.
He looked at the piano in front of him, blinking at it till he grabbed his phone. He was moving with his instinct now, with his heart. He dialed a familiar number and put it in speaker mode. It took a couple of rings before the call was answered. Sho had almost given up. Maybe, the other male needed more time.
When the call got through, no one was speaking till, “Sho-san...”
Sho flinched at how Jun addressed him. The quiver in Jun’s voice was evident and he didn’t really like that. It meant Jun was afraid of him, of what he could do.
“Listen Jun... I-,” he paused again and Sho heard Jun’s sharp intake of breath.
Sho took another deep breath, and then said, smiling, “Listen to this Jun... I told you before right, I’m not good with words when it comes to this... but I know one thing is for sure... so just listen okay...” He said.
His hands were moving again, melody flowing out easily. It was like the time when he brought Jun here and confessed. Thinking back, Sho had insecurities and reservations that time, but he knew now, it was all different. There was only sincerity of his love and he wanted it to reach Jun clearly. His notes were definite, more passionate than ever. He wanted Jun to know that he had been in love with the younger male even before he actually realized it. Of course, there were always times when people will have doubts. The two of them would surely have those moments too, but he wanted Jun to come back to this time and remember that everything started with one thing, I love you, Jun. Don’t you ever forget that.
Sho was breathless when he finished the piece. There were stains of tears in his face, but he had a smile. He looked at his phone, and was going to grab it when someone spoke.
“Sho…”
Sho thought it came from his phone’s speaker, but it was clearer from that. He looked to his side, and there was Jun, standing with his phone still glued to his ear. Jun was sweaty and out of breath. He probably ran to come there. There were also traces of tears in his cheeks, but he too had a small yet beautiful smile. He pocketed his phone and then reached his hand towards Sho, “Let’s go home.” He said.
Sho took the hand, pulling Jun to him so that he could kiss the latter. Their kisses were sloppy, but they were full of smiles and laughter. Sho felt relieved. He knew they needed to work with their communication, but for now, they’d focus more on showing how important they were to each other.
Jun waited as Sho locked the shop down. It was getting colder lately, and so he grabbed the younger male’s hand. Jun was shocked at first, his cheeks blushing, but he didn’t show any objection. Sho felt pecking Jun’s lips, and so he did, earning a grin from the latter.
“Shall we go home?” Jun repeated, and Sho nodded as they walked back together.
Thinking again, Sho had always been home. From the moment he fell in love with Jun back then, and even now...
They were breathless from all those kisses they shared. As their hands roamed around each other, they couldn’t really get enough. It was to the point that clothes were discarded without a care, and all that mattered was they were in each other arms.
When Jun had settled his back against the headrest, Sho went lower, making sure he didn’t miss any spot to plant a kiss at. There was a kiss in Jun chest, a small bite by Jun’s tummy, a lick outlining Jun’s navel until he was facing Jun’s member. Sho looked towards the younger male who was looking back at him before breathing at it, taking a tentative lick that made Jun to whimper with want. He grabbed the base before taking it into his mouth. Jun bucked his hips at the contact, and Sho had to hold his hips down.
“Ah...” Jun moaned, and all the whimpers and moans Jun was releasing were doing nothing but to make Sho hard. He kissed Jun’s thigh as he motioned his hand up and down around Jun’s shaft.
“Sho...”
When Sho looked up, Jun was staring at him, flushed and panting. Sho moved up again, kissing the other, his hand still between them, pumping the other until Jun held it between his own hands. Sho stared at Jun, his eyes closely watching as the latter kissed his hand before licking each finger. Sho’s breathe was caught in between. It was a sensual sight. He ended up hiding his face in Jun’s shoulder, liking the musky scent it had.
“Take me...” Jun whispered to him, making Sho to pull back to have a proper look at Jun. Sho wasn’t one to be asked twice to do something, but there was something in that sight that was stopping him to comply.
Jun was naked and under him, yet he was glowing. He was beautiful, and sometimes Sho had doubts whether he was really allowed to have this man in his arms. But when Jun reached out to his face, wiping the sweat from his forehead before cupping his face while looking intently to him, Sho was reminded once again that Jun was giving his everything to him, to take care and to love.
“Take me…” Jun repeated, and rather than replying, Sho kissed Jun as he dragged his hand away from Jun’s grasp to reach for the lube and condom in the bedside drawer. Jun kept his hand though. When Sho pulled from the kiss to ask, Jun just shook his head.
“Just…” Jun let it hang in there, trusting Sho to understand what he wanted. Sho did, pecking Jun’s forehead as a confirmation before he positioned his self between Jun’s legs.
The moment he pushed himself in, he kissed Jun fully in the mouth, hoping that it could distract the other male from the pain. It still surprised Sho even now how tight it felt, but it was welcomed nonetheless as he held Jun closed, placing kisses his lips could reach all over Jun. They stayed liked that for awhile to allow Jun to adjust at Sho’s length. It was getting hard not to move though because Jun\s heat around him sent pleasure running all over his body, and the sounds Jun was making unconsciously wasn’t helping at all.
“Move...” Jun whispered, hiding his face in Sho’s neck.
Sho complied, maneuvering their bodies so Jun’s back was lying in the bed again. He set his pace in a slow rhythm, gradually picking up when he felt Jun was arching his back, moaning his name along with huffs and pants. He angled his hips, successfully finding Jun’s spot when Jun’s grip tightened around his shoulders. His thrusts went deeper and harder as Jun’s legs wounded itself around his waist for leverage.
“Jun... Jun...” Sho panted, holding the younger male close. He was thrusting franticly, moving his free hand in the middle of their bodies to pump Jun’s neglected member. He knew they were nearing their completion and all Sho could do was held Jun so close to him because sometimes, he still couldn’t believe they were here now.
The sound of skin against skin, of moans and grunts resonated throughout the room. The mixture of musky scent of sweat and sex filled the air. Sho wouldn’t have it in any other way as long as he had Jun in his arms.
“I’m...” Jun started breathless, and Sho could just nod as a response. “Sho...” Jun moaned when he had his release. It took a few more thrusts before Sho followed, thrusting slowly to ride his orgasm.
Sho collapsed above Jun, breathless and sated. Still, Jun stayed still, welcoming the added weight no matter how much it actually was. In fact, Jun was rubbing Sho’s back while humming his satisfaction.
“I love you too...” Sho said before placing as kiss to Jun’s forehead, to each of his eyelids and till he reached Jun’s lips.
No matter how many times he kissed Jun, Sho wouldn’t get enough of how sweet it tasted, how fulfilling it felt, and how loved he had experienced every time Jun kisses him back. It wasn’t really just with the way Jun kisses him. It was with the way the younger male touches him, soft and delicate, because Sho felt he was treasured. It was also with the way Jun whispered his thoughts and dreams to no one other than Sho, telling him he was a big part of it. And then there was also the way Jun would look at Sho and no one else. Sho felt Jun’s world revolved around him same as Sho’s did around Jun.
Sho fell in love all over again.
They were catching their breaths, haziness in their eyes as Sho pulled out, yet something was unmistakable, and that was the contentment of being with each other. Sho brushed Jun’s fringe away, leaning in to plant a kiss. Jun closed his eyes the moment Sho’s lips made contact in his forehead, smiling gratefully.
“I’m home,” Sho whispered, his face lingering close to Jun’s face. Despite their position, Sho could see Jun opening his eyes in disbelief. When Sho pulled away so that he could see Jun’s face fully, the younger male gave a questioning stare.
“Should I be saying welcome back?” Jun panted.
Rather than replying, Sho pulled Jun to crash their lips in another kiss. The kiss went deeper as he held Jun’s nape, his other hand searching for Jun’s hand. When he found it, he held it close to his chest. Their mouths were dancing in the joint beat of their hearts. He moved their bodies to lie sideways, keeping them facing each other. When he pulled away, he rubbed Jun’s nape lovingly with his thumb while pressing gently his nose against the younger man’s.
Jun’s breathe was evening out, and so was his. He could see how Jun was trying to fight the sleepiness away, trying to maintain his eyes open. Sho took it as a cue to get up and fetch a wash cloth in their bathroom. He cleaned the two of them before joining Jun in the bed again. Now, they could sleep more comfortably without the sticky feeling of sweat and cum in the way.
The younger male had a thankful smile directed to Sho as he covered their bodies with their warm and cozy blanket. Sho just replied it with a playful nuzzle of his nose against Jun’s cheek, urging the other to sleep. Jun did fall asleep quickly, letting Sho to have a moment to be in awe at Jun’s blissful face before he too felt sleepy.
“I’m home…” Sho repeated only in his mind. He knew Jun would laugh at him about the reason why he said that, but he really meant it.
It was just that wherever Jun was, that would be Sho’s home.
Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Epilogue
"Welcome back!"
"I’m home..."
Sho replied with a smile, proceeding in changing his shoes to house slippers.
The other man in the house moved closer to the genkan, leaning his weight on the closest wall as he observed Sho, and then asked, "What took you so long?"
Sho had a mischievous smile as he heard the other man's query. When he stood straight up, he was met with a sight of a raised eyebrow under the other man’s black-rimmed glasses. Sho ignored it, and without a word, he came forward, trapping completely the other man between him and the wall.
"Missing me so soon..." Sho whispered before leaning in, and ghosting his lips against the other man's as he finished, "...Matsumoto Jun?"
Before Jun could even say another word, Sho kissed Jun properly, intruding his tongue in one go. Jun yelped in surprise, but the sudden aggressiveness in Sho's kiss seemed to be welcomed nonetheless. Sho pulled away a moment later, leaving Jun breathless, yet he kept on leaving chaste kisses in any part of Jun's face where Sho's lips could land on. He took the glass away from Jun's clammy hand, putting it in the nearest surface he could reach. Judging with how loosely Jun was holding it, it could fall down any moment. Jun flashed him a thankful smile.
Sho removed Jun’s black-rimmed glasses next because they were in the way. Aside from that, he wanted to see Jun’s beautiful eyes looking back at him, reflecting him. He cupped Jun's cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. His other hand was in Jun's waist, keeping them close to each other.
There were no words exchanged between them. Sho just held Jun's hand, guiding him towards the bedroom, and Jun just followed with no qualms or protests.
The moment they reached the bed, Sho sat down on it, his back against the headboard while pulling Jun to sit down in his lap. Still there were no objections coming from Jun’s mouth despite how uncomfortable it could be for the younger male. He only had his eyes closed as he waited, his body fully relaxed, and his breaths were calm.
Sho reached for Jun’s cheek again, before settling his hand in the junction connecting the neck and shoulder. He rubbed his thumb against Jun’s collarbone, earning a soft moan from Jun.
When Jun opened his eyes, Sho leaned in for a kiss. Their kisses were soft and unhurried, their hands finding themselves around each other, Jun’s around Sho’s shoulders, while Sho’s around Jun’s waist. It seemed no one wanted it in any other way. They were savoring each moment, trying to make it last.
It was when Sho settled his head against Jun's neck did he heard Jun's whisper, soft and delicate, “I love you, Sho.”
It maybe exaggeration to say that he was in verge of tears upon hearing it, but so much passion was overflowing with those words. Innocence and sincerity were meshed in just four words.
It was true that out of the two of them, Jun was more open with his emotions. When he was uncomfortable with something, it would show in his face. There were even times he would frankly say it out loud. But there were still the times when Jun would act numb with everything. No matter how tough things would get, he would face it with a straight face. He was Mr. Stoic after all. Maybe the fact that only to him did Jun showed such vulnerability made him more giddy and thankful at the same time because it meant that Jun trusted him, with all of his, his good and bad sides, his ups and downs. And it just made him to fall in love over and over again to the younger male, even then...
They were just entering the first months of their relationship. With all honesty, Sho was still reluctant with how everything went. Wasn’t it said that when you’re in a relationship, everything will drastically change?
Yet there was none. Maybe they did spend a lot of time in each other's homes more frequently, except Sho thought it was something best of friends could also do. So that didn't count right?
It wasn't like Sho was asking for something big. As said before, they were just starting, but for some reason, Sho was looking for something that would set them apart from how they were before when they weren't in the 'relationship' yet. Was it really too much to ask?
Maybe that was the reason why he popped the question out of the blue when he was in Jun's apartment.
"Should we move in together?"
It was a simple question, but it carried a lot of weight than one could imagine. They were in the couch, a movie was playing in the screen, yet no one bothered to actually pay attention to it. Sho was researching about something in the internet and Jun was reading a book. When Sho asked the question, Jun was flustered, looking at him in disbelief.
"Are you serious right now?" Jun asked, looking sharply at Sho. On the other hand, Sho was nonchalant like it was the most normal thing to ask. Wasn't it? They were a couple after all.
Sho then had a second thought. Judging with how Jun reacted, it meant the younger male wasn't ready yet.
"Sorry, I think-,"
"I don't mind honestly." Jun cut him.
When Sho looked at the younger male, Jun was contemplating as he put his book down. He sighed then looked back straight to Sho, "I wasn't really just expecting you're the one who's going to ask me." Jun stated. An easy smile was on his face.
"Well..." Sho paused, looking away and lost in thought for a moment until he felt his arm being lifted and placed above the headrest of the sofa. Jun’s back was already against his side and Jun’s head was lying idly at Sho’s upper arm. For a moment, Sho did feel that they were dating, that they were actually ‘exclusively dating’. He couldn’t help but grin, encircling his arm around Jun to pull him closer.
“Well?” Jun asked as a follow-up and that snapped Sho back to the topic they were talking about.
“I just thought it was probably the time to do so.”
Jun hummed in response. Sho waited, unconsciously rubbing Jun’s upper arm with his hand.
“I guess I could contact a friend of mine from a real state, and then we could decide from then on. What do you say?” Jun suggested.
Sho was silent again, looking at his computer but not really seeing it. He was deep in thoughts, weighing whether to go for it, or retract what he said. Jun’s words didn’t exactly clarify whether he was excited for this or not. Still, it was worth the shot.
“Yeah, I like the sound of that.” Sho agreed at the end. It couldn't be that bad right?
Yet it was actually easier said than done. Aside from their busy schedules, it was hard to be together and not be seen. So how they managed to find a good place and furniture they both like was a miracle and a hard work. It took them time, and truthfully also a couple of petty fights.
("You got to be kidding me? You want gray color for the kitchen?"
"Wait, why are we buying a lot of drawers?"
"Bookshelves again? I thought the ones we brought were already enough?
"Are we really going for black king size bed?")
None of it did actually turn into something serious because one knew how to succumb to the other's wishes. They compromised, met each other in middle like there was diplomacy between them. Sho thought it was enough to make this relationship work, it wasn’t really.
Sho had been in his study room. With all the reports he need to look first before actually reporting it for News Zero, he needed silence as a companion in order to concentrate. But then...
“Bang! Boom! Bang!”
“What the-?”
He instantly went out of his room frightened, thinking that something bad had happen. All he found though was Jun in the sofa, watching a sci-fi movie in the screen.
“MATSUMOTO! WHAT THE HELL?” Sho yelled, not being able to control his temper.
“Huh? What happened?” Jun asked, completely flabbergasted.
From then on, words exchanged between escalated in a whole new different meaning, a different argument. It may be the exhaustion from their packed schedules that fogged up their minds they ended up saying things they didn’t meant... or maybe they just said what they have been keeping inside?
“You don’t love me at all do you?!?” Jun said, tears already flowing out of his eyes.
Sho’s eyes widened. He felt disbelief and disappointment, but worse of all, he felt hurt. “I can’t believe you!” He groaned and made a bee line towards the door, getting his keys, phone and wallet along the way.
“See, you didn’t even say anything! You’ll just leave because there was no reason for you to stay!” Jun said, following suit. “Maybe you just went all out to me because you feel pity. You knew I was heads over heels over you! And you are just Mr. Nice-Guy Sakurai Sho to make my wishes come true.” Jun continued, exaggerating each word.
Jun’s words were venomous in Sho’s ears, and Sho could feel tears prickling his eyes, threatening to fall every minute now. He just opened the door, and grumbled before closing it, “I’m leaving.”
Sho didn’t know where his feet had taken him. He was in automatic and before he knew it, he was already in front of his friend’s music shop. He smiled bitterly upon remembering when he last brought Jun here. It was also the time when he confessed to Jun everything.
“Might as well go inside,” He muttered to himself. He didn’t really have any place to go. Other members’ homes weren’t an option, and so did going to his parents’ house. He went inside with his spare key, and like he usually does, he went to the grand piano placed in the back part of the shop. He sat in front of it, caressing the ivory keys before pressing it. He had a melody playing at first, but it faded into silence because he couldn’t continue. Tears were already pouring out of him. He was too hurt with what Jun had said.
Weren’t Sho’s intentions clear? Did Jun really believed that he was only there because of pity, out of obligation, and not because he really loved Jun? Of course, knowing Jun had loved him even before sent him happiness, except Jun believed that he didn’t love the latter back, and that hurt even more.
Sho laid his head against the keyboard, pressing random keys as he let his mind wonder, and then it hit him.
Sho remembered how Jun looked at him when he was leaving, the meaning hidden behind Jun's words, those pleading eyes behind those tears.
Please, don’t leave me. Just tell me that you love me.
“How could I miss that?” Sho growled, angry at his self. He was about to stand up and come back, but another thought came to him. “What will I tell him now?" He asked himself because truthfully, he didn’t know yet what words to say that will justify everything that was happening.
He looked at the piano in front of him, blinking at it till he grabbed his phone. He was moving with his instinct now, with his heart. He dialed a familiar number and put it in speaker mode. It took a couple of rings before the call was answered. Sho had almost given up. Maybe, the other male needed more time.
When the call got through, no one was speaking till, “Sho-san...”
Sho flinched at how Jun addressed him. The quiver in Jun’s voice was evident and he didn’t really like that. It meant Jun was afraid of him, of what he could do.
“Listen Jun... I-,” he paused again and Sho heard Jun’s sharp intake of breath.
Sho took another deep breath, and then said, smiling, “Listen to this Jun... I told you before right, I’m not good with words when it comes to this... but I know one thing is for sure... so just listen okay...” He said.
His hands were moving again, melody flowing out easily. It was like the time when he brought Jun here and confessed. Thinking back, Sho had insecurities and reservations that time, but he knew now, it was all different. There was only sincerity of his love and he wanted it to reach Jun clearly. His notes were definite, more passionate than ever. He wanted Jun to know that he had been in love with the younger male even before he actually realized it. Of course, there were always times when people will have doubts. The two of them would surely have those moments too, but he wanted Jun to come back to this time and remember that everything started with one thing, I love you, Jun. Don’t you ever forget that.
Sho was breathless when he finished the piece. There were stains of tears in his face, but he had a smile. He looked at his phone, and was going to grab it when someone spoke.
“Sho…”
Sho thought it came from his phone’s speaker, but it was clearer from that. He looked to his side, and there was Jun, standing with his phone still glued to his ear. Jun was sweaty and out of breath. He probably ran to come there. There were also traces of tears in his cheeks, but he too had a small yet beautiful smile. He pocketed his phone and then reached his hand towards Sho, “Let’s go home.” He said.
Sho took the hand, pulling Jun to him so that he could kiss the latter. Their kisses were sloppy, but they were full of smiles and laughter. Sho felt relieved. He knew they needed to work with their communication, but for now, they’d focus more on showing how important they were to each other.
Jun waited as Sho locked the shop down. It was getting colder lately, and so he grabbed the younger male’s hand. Jun was shocked at first, his cheeks blushing, but he didn’t show any objection. Sho felt pecking Jun’s lips, and so he did, earning a grin from the latter.
“Shall we go home?” Jun repeated, and Sho nodded as they walked back together.
Thinking again, Sho had always been home. From the moment he fell in love with Jun back then, and even now...
They were breathless from all those kisses they shared. As their hands roamed around each other, they couldn’t really get enough. It was to the point that clothes were discarded without a care, and all that mattered was they were in each other arms.
When Jun had settled his back against the headrest, Sho went lower, making sure he didn’t miss any spot to plant a kiss at. There was a kiss in Jun chest, a small bite by Jun’s tummy, a lick outlining Jun’s navel until he was facing Jun’s member. Sho looked towards the younger male who was looking back at him before breathing at it, taking a tentative lick that made Jun to whimper with want. He grabbed the base before taking it into his mouth. Jun bucked his hips at the contact, and Sho had to hold his hips down.
“Ah...” Jun moaned, and all the whimpers and moans Jun was releasing were doing nothing but to make Sho hard. He kissed Jun’s thigh as he motioned his hand up and down around Jun’s shaft.
“Sho...”
When Sho looked up, Jun was staring at him, flushed and panting. Sho moved up again, kissing the other, his hand still between them, pumping the other until Jun held it between his own hands. Sho stared at Jun, his eyes closely watching as the latter kissed his hand before licking each finger. Sho’s breathe was caught in between. It was a sensual sight. He ended up hiding his face in Jun’s shoulder, liking the musky scent it had.
“Take me...” Jun whispered to him, making Sho to pull back to have a proper look at Jun. Sho wasn’t one to be asked twice to do something, but there was something in that sight that was stopping him to comply.
Jun was naked and under him, yet he was glowing. He was beautiful, and sometimes Sho had doubts whether he was really allowed to have this man in his arms. But when Jun reached out to his face, wiping the sweat from his forehead before cupping his face while looking intently to him, Sho was reminded once again that Jun was giving his everything to him, to take care and to love.
“Take me…” Jun repeated, and rather than replying, Sho kissed Jun as he dragged his hand away from Jun’s grasp to reach for the lube and condom in the bedside drawer. Jun kept his hand though. When Sho pulled from the kiss to ask, Jun just shook his head.
“Just…” Jun let it hang in there, trusting Sho to understand what he wanted. Sho did, pecking Jun’s forehead as a confirmation before he positioned his self between Jun’s legs.
The moment he pushed himself in, he kissed Jun fully in the mouth, hoping that it could distract the other male from the pain. It still surprised Sho even now how tight it felt, but it was welcomed nonetheless as he held Jun closed, placing kisses his lips could reach all over Jun. They stayed liked that for awhile to allow Jun to adjust at Sho’s length. It was getting hard not to move though because Jun\s heat around him sent pleasure running all over his body, and the sounds Jun was making unconsciously wasn’t helping at all.
“Move...” Jun whispered, hiding his face in Sho’s neck.
Sho complied, maneuvering their bodies so Jun’s back was lying in the bed again. He set his pace in a slow rhythm, gradually picking up when he felt Jun was arching his back, moaning his name along with huffs and pants. He angled his hips, successfully finding Jun’s spot when Jun’s grip tightened around his shoulders. His thrusts went deeper and harder as Jun’s legs wounded itself around his waist for leverage.
“Jun... Jun...” Sho panted, holding the younger male close. He was thrusting franticly, moving his free hand in the middle of their bodies to pump Jun’s neglected member. He knew they were nearing their completion and all Sho could do was held Jun so close to him because sometimes, he still couldn’t believe they were here now.
The sound of skin against skin, of moans and grunts resonated throughout the room. The mixture of musky scent of sweat and sex filled the air. Sho wouldn’t have it in any other way as long as he had Jun in his arms.
“I’m...” Jun started breathless, and Sho could just nod as a response. “Sho...” Jun moaned when he had his release. It took a few more thrusts before Sho followed, thrusting slowly to ride his orgasm.
Sho collapsed above Jun, breathless and sated. Still, Jun stayed still, welcoming the added weight no matter how much it actually was. In fact, Jun was rubbing Sho’s back while humming his satisfaction.
“I love you too...” Sho said before placing as kiss to Jun’s forehead, to each of his eyelids and till he reached Jun’s lips.
No matter how many times he kissed Jun, Sho wouldn’t get enough of how sweet it tasted, how fulfilling it felt, and how loved he had experienced every time Jun kisses him back. It wasn’t really just with the way Jun kisses him. It was with the way the younger male touches him, soft and delicate, because Sho felt he was treasured. It was also with the way Jun whispered his thoughts and dreams to no one other than Sho, telling him he was a big part of it. And then there was also the way Jun would look at Sho and no one else. Sho felt Jun’s world revolved around him same as Sho’s did around Jun.
Sho fell in love all over again.
They were catching their breaths, haziness in their eyes as Sho pulled out, yet something was unmistakable, and that was the contentment of being with each other. Sho brushed Jun’s fringe away, leaning in to plant a kiss. Jun closed his eyes the moment Sho’s lips made contact in his forehead, smiling gratefully.
“I’m home,” Sho whispered, his face lingering close to Jun’s face. Despite their position, Sho could see Jun opening his eyes in disbelief. When Sho pulled away so that he could see Jun’s face fully, the younger male gave a questioning stare.
“Should I be saying welcome back?” Jun panted.
Rather than replying, Sho pulled Jun to crash their lips in another kiss. The kiss went deeper as he held Jun’s nape, his other hand searching for Jun’s hand. When he found it, he held it close to his chest. Their mouths were dancing in the joint beat of their hearts. He moved their bodies to lie sideways, keeping them facing each other. When he pulled away, he rubbed Jun’s nape lovingly with his thumb while pressing gently his nose against the younger man’s.
Jun’s breathe was evening out, and so was his. He could see how Jun was trying to fight the sleepiness away, trying to maintain his eyes open. Sho took it as a cue to get up and fetch a wash cloth in their bathroom. He cleaned the two of them before joining Jun in the bed again. Now, they could sleep more comfortably without the sticky feeling of sweat and cum in the way.
The younger male had a thankful smile directed to Sho as he covered their bodies with their warm and cozy blanket. Sho just replied it with a playful nuzzle of his nose against Jun’s cheek, urging the other to sleep. Jun did fall asleep quickly, letting Sho to have a moment to be in awe at Jun’s blissful face before he too felt sleepy.
“I’m home…” Sho repeated only in his mind. He knew Jun would laugh at him about the reason why he said that, but he really meant it.
It was just that wherever Jun was, that would be Sho’s home.
Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Epilogue