Boku Ga Boku No Subete (Chapter 4)
Title: ぼくが僕のすべて (I AM EVERYTHING I HAVE)
Author: silverdoll14
Characters/Pairings: Arashi /Ohmiya and Sakuraiba
Rating: PG - 13
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst, Drama, Fluff
Chapter - Word Count: Chapter 4 - 4296 words
Length: Multi-chaptered
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except the story of course. Everything is just fictional. :D
Summary: After one exchange of glance, a criminal stole his heart. After one smile, a student made him defy the rules. After unexpected encounters, forbidden love blooms. If second chances were given to turn things back the way they are, will they change the course of their paths or still go on with everything they have?
-------------------------------------------
Ohno was walking by the side walk since he didn’t have a car. He did have his license but driving wasn’t his thing. Also the place where he was heading to was actually a walking distance. It was crowded with people heading home or going to their own extra activities before the end of the night until a certain mop of black hair caught his attention. From where he was standing, he could see Nino exiting a bakery while munching a freshly baked melon pan. Ohno froze, not knowing what to do until his name slipped from the other and Ohno finally realized the fact that Nino was standing in front of him, looking at him equally shocked.
“Kazu!” Ohno breathe and instantly sprinted after the said male who suddenly ran away from him.
“Kazu!” Ohno called but the said male continued to run, ignoring his flea with gritted teeth. He just concentrated in running after Nino. Although he couldn’t help but observe how Nino moved fluidly, squishing between the crowd effortless. And when Nino turned to his right, into an alley Ohno remembered seeing before, Ohno thought he cornered him but it only left him disappointed after taking that alley and found no one was there except him.
“Kazu?” Ohno called, going further in until he reached a dead end. He tilted his head in confusion. He was sure Nino took this alley but where did the other guy disappear too. Ohno looked up, examining the buildings. He concluded it was too tall to climb for a regular guy unless you’re a gymnast or some sort. Nino couldn’t possibly disappear in thin air. Ohno shook his head, his focused now in finding Nino and talk to him. There was only one way Ohno could surely corner the said man. Guess Sho couldn’t count on him tonight.
Nino sighed in relief when he could see Ohno leaving the alley from the window he was able to find open. It was a good thing that there was a rope hanging around and with his reflexes as a thief, he was able to climb it effortlessly. He really hated it when people chase him. Although with his so-called profession, he should already be used to it. But throughout three years that he had been an active thief, he never got caught unless he planned to be seen or something. Those were the moments he wanted to play with the cops a little longer.
“This is not what I’m expecting.” Nino thought as he went out of the building casually like he lived there, eating his remaining melon pan.
He walked in silence, thinking he should really join Aiba on his morning jogs, better take seriously those kinds of things. He was not really a fan of working out.
Yet joining Aiba and his distaste towards exercises seemed to be the least of his problems when he arrived at the floor of his flat minutes later. He immediately composed his self, acting all mischievous while saying, “You know, I can sue you Ohno-san if you keep on stalking me,” but deep inside, his heart couldn’t stop beating so fast seeing Ohno crouching in front of his door.
The said male had a sheepish smile on his face before standing up by Nino’s doorstep where he had been waiting and Nino got to admit, that sight took his breath away.
Sho pouted after re-reading for the nth time the message he received from Ohno almost an hour ago.
From: Satoshi
Subject:
Message: Sorry Sho-kun, but there’s something I need to do and I can’t just let this chance slip pass. I promise to make it up to you. Do your best!
Sho blinked unsure if he got the right message. Ohno wasn’t like that but he knew if his friend is determined then there’s nothing he could do. (Although he couldn’t help but to curse how wrong timing that urgent thing came up.)
“Sensei!!!”Sho’s trance was disturbed by the familiar voice. Before he could react after looking up from his phone, he was dragged by his student.
“W-wait! Aiba-san?!? Where are we g-going?” He tried to protest but it seemed it was received with deaf ears and replied with Aiba’s cheeky grin. It was also futile after drinking three or maybe five glass of alcohol already.
“Nino is busy, so you’ll be coming with me Sakurai sensei~” Aiba sing-song, excited for some reason and continued to drag his teacher.
“Where exactly are we going?”
“You’ll see.” Aiba beamed back and Sho knew he didn’t have a heart to say no anymore.
Silence. No words want to come out. No sounds were heard except the tingling keys as Nino fumbled with his lock, Ohno observed how Nino’s hands worked. He remembered how it fitted perfectly against his and he wondered if he would be given another chance to hold it tight.
“Come in.” Ohno looked u as Nino managed to get him out of his reverie. Nino had already opened the door for both of them and now they manage to finally make their selves comfortable inside Nino’s apartment. Ohno was thankful that Nino seemed welcoming despite the chase the younger man put up earlier. He thought maybe Nino didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and it gave a pang in his heart. There was also the fact that the younger man was right, he could get sued for pursuing Nino because what he did was in the borderline of stalking. (He did get Nino’s address with the police record and that’s not good for cop unless it’d be relevant to the case he working on.)
He knew he should control his actions, his emotions but truthfully, he couldn’t when it was about Nino and Ohno couldn’t do anything but be drawn to the younger man, trying to jump in and defy everything just for a chance. It was something he couldn’t explain yet it didn’t scare him either. He just followed his guts and he hoped Nino would give them a chance.
As they got in, arriving in Nino’s living room, Ohno found himself fairly amused with how game consoles and packages of games were scattered everywhere. Nino replied it with a sheepish smile apologetically saying, “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting any visitors today… uhm, g-got really no time in fixing this mess.”
Ohno shook his head, smiling to assure the younger man that it was fine. Nino grinned and then led him towards the kitchen instead.
There were no tension afterwards, just a silent comfortable atmosphere between two people who were having a nice cup of tea until Nino spoke, “You sure overdid it Ohno-san, finding me for another night…” Nino started and Ohno’s head shoot upwards, his gaze towards the younger man with confusion. Nino wasn’t looking at him and instead was looking towards the window by the kitchen.
“Am I that good?” Nino said, smirking as he faced Ohno.
Ohno felt a pang on his heart. Nino’s words felt stabbing him but he tried to compose his self and replied calmly as he could, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kazu…”
“Well, what else would you came back for…” Nino started, his voice going lower and suggestive. He stood up from where he was sitting at, going around the table to reach Ohno’s seat. He made himself comfortable between the space of Ohno’s upper body and the table, straddling the older guy’s lap, leaning in and whispered on Ohno’s left ear, “I’m quite flattered too you’ll go to that extent in finding me for another night.”
Nino leaned away a little, reaching up for Ohno’s button-up shirt, tying to remove the buttons one by one.
Ohno caught up, snapping from his shock with how Nino had been acting and caught both hands mid way, their eyes met, this time genuine and full of wonder.
“Why are you doing this?”Unknowingly to both of them, they were both asking the same question yet no one openly asked it, they just kept staring at each other until Ohno spoke for the first time that they arrived at the kitchen.
“Let’s do it your way then.”
Nino recoiled at those words, with how Ohno pointed the word ‘your’. He tried to smirk it off but it came awkward as it went. He fumbled clumsily in loosening Ohno’s buttons, confidence he had tried to put up were crashing down.
He was determined to never let Ohno so close again. That one night was his last time to let his emotions overcome him. This night was going to be just for pure lust and nothing more. After this, he had to make sure that Ohno wasn’t part of his life anymore again, completely and without fail. Yet everything seemed futile, his resolve crumbling down that even the solid fact that Ohno was a cop and he was a thief seemed hazy.
He kind of regretted it now for researching for the cop after their first encounter. When he heard that the cop that responded in his crime was named Ohno, even for a little he had hoped that it was the same Ohno he was able to spend that one beautiful summer with. Familiarity doubled that hope that night as he went closer and with his own eyes saw those same sleepy eyes and those cherubic cheeks. All he needed was to confirm it and when he got Ohno’s profile that he managed to hack from the police's database, he somehow knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop his self from continuing to love that same man now that he had found him.
Nino was prepared to watch him from afar. Quite a love sick martyr, he would say but everything had changed since then and he didn’t want to bring Ohno to his miserable life when the older male was nothing but a salvation ever since. He had nothing in those times when they got separated, nothing but the memories of the older man and it got him moving on. Now that he had found him, he didn’t want to taint the life that Ohno led without him.
Their meeting in the museum was something Nino made true as he followed Ohno but bumping ways with Ohno the same night as Jun’s friend wasn’t expected, and so he chose to follow his desire and for the last time. He let his emotions be involved once again in his past. But now, Ohno was here and Nino wasn’t sure anymore of what to do other than to act arrogant and played the villain because in reality, no matter how he tried to sugarcoat his profession, he was a villain in the society, his hands tainted with his crimes.
“Kazu…”
Nino snapped, and soon realized that he had been staring at his hands that Ohno held. It was blurry and when he looked up, he finally understood that he had been crying all along.
“Kazu… are-“
Nino didn’t let Ohno to continue, instead he crashed his lips towards the older guy for a searing kiss, desperate and pleading, holding towards the man that got a special place on his heart ever since then, his first love, Satoshi…
“You’re crying again, Kazu…”
“Promise me you’ll always stay by my side.”
“Huh?”
“Promise me Satoshi!”
“I promise then Kazu!”
(Hesitates)
“Liar! I don’t believe you!”
(Blinks)
“Huh? B-but… but I do promise you, Kazu…”
“I don’t believe with promises anymore. Papa and Mama always promise but they always break it.”
(Kiss)
(Blushes)
“W-why you d-did that?”
“Mom always gives me a kiss in the forehead whenever she promised me something and she never breaks it.”
“B-but why on my… m-my lips?”
“Because it’s my promise and not my mother’s… Y-you don’t like it?”
“It’s n-not like that… I-… I like it.”
(Smiles)
“Then you believe me now.”
(Nods)
"Why wouldn't you believe me, Sho-chan? I told you it will be fun.”
Sho blinked, quite startled with how Aiba suddenly addressed him so comfortably but didn't comment on it. It wasn't that he was too stiff. Well, maybe just a little. But that's just how he was raised with. Proper manners included how to address people and always do so with politeness especially with people you just met. Position and place in the society were also great factors and so he learned to know his place. It had always to do with business and personal bonds were out of the question unless you would gain something from it. That was how his father had thought him .That was how the world would always be. Jun and Ohno were the only ones that were exempted in that rule, those who knew him deep within and he would like to keep it that way but this past few days, it was becoming hard especially when a certain lanky man kept on popping in his mind.
"Aiba-san, I don-"
"Aiba..."
"Huh?"
"Hmm, you might as well call me Masaki if you like." And there went again his composure being drain away with that smile.
This isn't right...Sho scolded his self. For almost every day, well, honestly every day. Sho wanted to remove that tingling feeling that would always come whenever Aiba was close by. He wanted to drown his self with work just to avoid it, even wanted to the extent of quitting teaching cram school, but teaching was something personal he wanted, and he wanted to keep it to keep his sanity intact with all the pressure he had from their company, especially from his father.
This trip will be my last attachment to him beyond student and teacher. Sho then decided. He already broke his rules when he followed one of his personal wish, and that was teaching even just in cram school, because he thought that students honestly was too focus in studying to mingle with anyone, even perhaps a teacher. But then Aiba was different and now that Aiba had entered his life, all was in jeopardy. (Add also that there was this Ninomiya Kazunari and all hell breaks loose.) He was composed, even cold hearted for some but Aiba managed to easily make him clumsy for reason, anxious and too casual. It was frightening with all honestly, confusing and it conflicted him inside because despite all of this, he felt it was right.
"Oh, we're almost there..." Aiba suddenly squeaked so happily that Sho got distracted and lose his footing from where they are standing.
"Whoa!"
"Gotcha! Careful there Sho-chan." Aiba said, grabbing Sho before he could fall and maybe roll down to the muddy slope they had been climbing.
"Well, if you hadn't dragged me this much to this dark place, Masaki, I would know where to actually step at."Sho said but his tone was far away from being angry. It was playful and Sho wanted to
Aiba laughed before speaking which made Sho's tummy wanted to flip in a good way, "You actually called me Masaki. I like that."
“Uhm... yeah... where are we going anyways?" Sho interjected, trying to change that topic as they continued.
When Aiba stopped at the highest point, and declared, "Here we are." Sho was glad to take that trip, especially seeing Aiba so happy about it.
It was a one-time trip for a change, a second chance to build the family that had been crumbling down for years. Shouts were often heard in their vicinity and rumors kept on popping along their neighborhood. Stares were always addressed to him and pity (or sometimes even disgust) seemed the only thing that would connect him to people. Despite at a young age of 8, Little Nino learned to deal with it as if nothing. He plastered a smile, showing in indifference because really, it was nothing but at nights, when two other people of the house aside from him, the one he called parents, were busy arguing about something, Nino would sit in the corner of his room, hide his face in knees, hands covering his ears and tears soaking his pajamas.
When her mother suggested it one summer night, little Nino’s smile was from ear to ear because maybe, just maybe, they would be okay from now on.
And so, they went to the country side, full of smiles and laughter. It was a dream come true for his young heart but then he realized, dreams would always be dreams and reality would always be there to wake him up.
He ran out the room the moment he heard them shouting again early in the morning, he just ate his breakfast and then his father just got home, reeking the smell of cigarettes and alcohol and, perfume? But that’s not Mom’s perfume.
His mother was furious, shouting and crying and shouting over and over again. Nino better knew than not to get involved in it anymore. Nights of shouting was enough already for his young heart could take. And so, in somehow a new environment, he chose to explore the new neighborhood where they would spend one month of vacation.
It went without a hitch but he couldn’t help but felt a pang in heart as mothers or fathers passed by with their children, a whole family even but Nino shrugged it away, finding pride for his independence.
He arrived at the park by the sun was beautifully shining above the morning sky. It wasn’t too crowded, it wasn’t deserted either and for him, that was a perfect time to relax and unwind his confused mind. He lied at the grass, thoughts instantly clouding his mind. Questions were asked here and there but sadly, no one would be able to answer it for him because the people he thought that would answer him were busy arguing about petty things. He wanted to say it didn’t affect him, really, it didn’t. Yet he was a child yearning for a care but no one seemed to bother to give it to him.
“His parents didn’t really want him.”
“Well, they couldn’t really stand each other but because he was born, they needed to live in and get married. You know Yamada family is so traditional.”
“I guess he’s unlucky to live in that kind family.”
“Well, don’t children born unwanted are bad omen?”
“Uwah, it’s scary…”
“Yeah… tsk...tsk… really a bad omen.”
“…bad omen.”
“No!” Nino quickly sat up at that bad dream after falling asleep in the grass field by the park under the shade of a sakura tree. Tears were already streaming from his eyes. With the back of his hand, he quickly wiped it angrily but tears just won’t stop.
“I’m not weak!” he scolded his self and then a rustle in his right finally alerted him that he wasn’t alone.
“You! What… what are you d-doing here?” He hiccupped at bit but tried to act all tough. No one should have seen him crying. Not his mother, not his father and definitely not a stranger. The stranger, who was also a kid not more than 5 years older than him, just shrugged and continued to scribble something on his paper. Nino then became curious. His tears finally stopped and but his eyes were puffy. When he got no reply from the other kid, he got more curious with how the child was so concentrated with what he was doing in a notebook. Maybe he’s drawing something.
When the kid took a glance at him, he flinched, feeling all shy.
“You should smile.”
Nino was startled but didn’t speak. For some reason, he just smiled. Later that night, he got a new friend by the name Ohno Satoshi and a new paper to keep with a not-so-sloppy-for-a-kid drawing of his self, smiling.
Ohno wasn't talkative. He was soft-spoken and gentle. Yet Nino never felt bored with him. It was something that amazed him, with how they could spend so much time even without telling anything to each other. Nino would talk and Ohno usually would listen. If the older boy did talk, Nino would pay attention.
Nino’s smile only became genuine when he met that kid. He learned to enjoy his time without worries, without burden of either pity or anything. He learned to be himself with Ohno. Before he knew it, Ohno Satoshi grew an important place in his heart.
"I guess I'm the one who broke the promise huh?" Nino asked, a bit teary-eyed yet despite the impending indefinite separation, Ohno carried a small smile and Nino wondered, "Will you miss me?"
Ohno shook his head and it made Nino's heart aching, but when Ohno explained, he felt his heart leaping instead.
"No, because you'll always be here.” Ohno said, pointing at his chest and then to Nino's chest the next. "And I'll be here..." Nino sniffed and that was the end of his tears. It sounded cliché, too cheesy but for a kid's heart it gave hope.
"Don't worry, we'll find each other no matter what." Ohno assured him. “Now, smile.”
From that day on, Nino looked forward to it with a smile despite the mischief he had, despite the death of his parents when they got back from that trip, despite those the endless chases he needed to escape for living but when the actual day came by, he didn't know if he deserved to meet the same kid, now a righteous man again.
Nino usually woke up from those memories nonchalantly but this time, he did so with dried tears in his cheeks, a warm breathe against his nape and a protective arm around his waist. He didn't know how he got back to his room, or even falling sleep. All he remembered was crying his worries and a gentle hand rubbing his back. He heaved a sigh and tried to remove the hand around his waist.
"Don't..." came a soft whisper and Nino felt himself shuddering at that voice, the other tightening his hold.
"You know, I could really have you arrested." Nino threatened but it came weak than what he wanted to admit.
"Maybe..." the older only whispered.
Nino found himself wiggling out, but rather than to get away, he made himself comfortable while facing the other. Their eyes were staring at each other, their breaths lingering at each other yet Ohno didn't loosen up his hold towards the younger man.
"You know better than this Ohno-san, you're a-"
"Satoshi...call me Satoshi..."
Another sigh, but Nino complied. "You're really becoming creepy, Satoshi..." Nino accused but really it wasn't offending and Ohno just gave a chuckle.
“I just don’t want you to disappear again in my arms like that.” Ohno admitted and it made Nino’s breathe hitched.
“Are we in some kind of a movie, Oh-chan?” Nino tried to smirk but none of it was strong enough to offend anyone, not even the bite in his words he tried to emphasize.
“I know this may sound so sudden but I honestly think that I lo- “Ohno started but Nino cut it off with a laughter. It sounded forced but it was effective to stop Ohno from admitting anything too touchy.
“You’re confusing yourself, Oh-chan!” Nino scoffed, looking away as he tried to free his self. But with Ohno’s arms trained through the army, it was impossible to out-strength the cop. And so he tried more with his words, “You just want sex and that’s it…” He said and it sounded so poisonous even with his own ears.
“And I’m willingly to give it to you. But you got to stop acting like a love sick fool.” He said with a scoffed and it seemed effective because Ohno loosened his hold, making Nino successful in getting out of the older male grasps and got out of the bed.
“I’m not for a commitment. It’s just a one night-stand you know. Just because we had sex doesn’t mean we have to be in a relationship.” Nino continued, making points when inside, each word were piercing him like knives.
“You should be pretty aware of it now that it was just a casual sex. You got to stop assuming things. You-“
Again, Nino was cut off with his words and then was forcefully turn around by Ohno who was standing already in front of him, his hands gripping Nino’s shoulders.
“AND YOU GOT TO STOP HIDING WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL!”
Nino flinched when Ohno suddenly raised his voice. The older male’s stare was intense and Nino felt himself breaking down, his facade continuously falling down even with how many times he tried to put it up.
“Why Nino? Why do you do this to us… to yourself?” Ohno said, each words spoken softly after another, his grip loosening around Nino. Ohno looked down, hands turning into fists not because of anger but because of nervousness, of uncertainty.
“I know I’m acting reckless. I know this is too sudden because we just met each other… and…” before continuing, Ohno looked up, his eyes seeking Nino’s weeping ones.
Nino had been crying again. Why do bring so much emotion from me? He wanted to ask but chose not to.
“I’m really uncertain… but I’m sure I’ll always be drawn to you…” Ohno said, cupping Nino’s face, making sure Nino was looking at him as he wiped those tears with his thumbs.
“I want to give this a try…” he said pleading. “I want to give us a try…” he said, leaning his forehead with Nino’s.
Nino didn’t say anything. He was too afraid of his answer and the consequences afterwards. But when Ohno kissed him, held him tight, Nino clang to him like a life line. Because he knew deep inside, he needed Ohno now that he had found him.
Maybe…
…just maybe.
Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
------------------------
AUTHOR’S NOTES:
Finally, after struggling so hard. Oh my gosh! I finally managed to update this. Uwaaah!!! I’m so happy… Anyways, this might be a bit dramatic. But now you know why they moved a bit fast on chapter 2, especially with Nino’s part. XD
Honestly, this is an impromptu story without a solid plot until I started Maya and finally, things are coming to light ne? More revelations will be coming up I guess. A rated chapter in the next and some Sakuraiba action. Hope you’ll be patient with me.
If you have questions or comments, just leave them. I think my writing style is changing and it might give others some problems. So just talk to me and I’ll surely try and answer them as soon as I can. Yorushiku onegaishimasu.