Your honesty-like a back that hides a knife...
I don't know what has been up with me lately. I'm so angry. I want to lash out at any and everyone close enough to be hurt by things I say. Why do I want people to hurt?
I don't know, but this weekend was definately a test of will. I wasn't feeling well, and I have finals coming up that I'm terrified about, and basically, Brian and I spent way too much time together, especially since I know I was being obnoxious, and I know for a fact that it was on purpose, because, as selfish as this sounds, when I feel awful, I can't stand for everyone around me not to suffer with me. For some reason I just wanted to be a bitch and say mean things, and thankfully, i'm pretty good at not saying whats on my mind all the time, because just out of spite, i'd have said something mean. Instead, I just bugged the shit out of him, and he bugged me, and we basically just didn't want to be near each other but neither of us wanted to be the jerk and tell the other to go away. LOL. He put up with me splendidly. I did, however, apologize today for being such a pain in the ass, and, though he would never bring it up himself, he did agree with me when I finally did. I don't feel as bad because I did apologize and I tried not to be too horrid. I should have locked myself up alone though, because I'd have done worse to basically everyone else because I don't give a shit what they think about me(at least the people up here, those of you down in LA, you're lucky you're not around me right now. I still miss/love you guys) Brian got off easy, and i'm glad, because its when i'm in these moods that I really really have a tendency to drive everyone i'm close to away. Once again, Brian, I apologize for being a royal pain in the ass this weekend. Good luck on Biochem! aaaaand Stats! AND YOUR PAPER THAT YOU HAVEN'T STARTED!!!!
I think I just need to cry. But its hard enough to breathe as it is, without all the sniffling and stuff that goes along with crying. Stupid allergic bronchitis. My throat kills.
I should really be studying right now, but my brain hurts and I need food. But I don't have food because I have to move out by noon next sunday and I don't need any more crap to move. NO MORE. I have way too much and i've been throwing crap away already.
And now my brain is fried. I'm tired and icky feeling and i'm going to bed and going to see a doctor tomorrow. Goodnight
I don't know, but this weekend was definately a test of will. I wasn't feeling well, and I have finals coming up that I'm terrified about, and basically, Brian and I spent way too much time together, especially since I know I was being obnoxious, and I know for a fact that it was on purpose, because, as selfish as this sounds, when I feel awful, I can't stand for everyone around me not to suffer with me. For some reason I just wanted to be a bitch and say mean things, and thankfully, i'm pretty good at not saying whats on my mind all the time, because just out of spite, i'd have said something mean. Instead, I just bugged the shit out of him, and he bugged me, and we basically just didn't want to be near each other but neither of us wanted to be the jerk and tell the other to go away. LOL. He put up with me splendidly. I did, however, apologize today for being such a pain in the ass, and, though he would never bring it up himself, he did agree with me when I finally did. I don't feel as bad because I did apologize and I tried not to be too horrid. I should have locked myself up alone though, because I'd have done worse to basically everyone else because I don't give a shit what they think about me(at least the people up here, those of you down in LA, you're lucky you're not around me right now. I still miss/love you guys) Brian got off easy, and i'm glad, because its when i'm in these moods that I really really have a tendency to drive everyone i'm close to away. Once again, Brian, I apologize for being a royal pain in the ass this weekend. Good luck on Biochem! aaaaand Stats! AND YOUR PAPER THAT YOU HAVEN'T STARTED!!!!
I think I just need to cry. But its hard enough to breathe as it is, without all the sniffling and stuff that goes along with crying. Stupid allergic bronchitis. My throat kills.
I should really be studying right now, but my brain hurts and I need food. But I don't have food because I have to move out by noon next sunday and I don't need any more crap to move. NO MORE. I have way too much and i've been throwing crap away already.
And now my brain is fried. I'm tired and icky feeling and i'm going to bed and going to see a doctor tomorrow. Goodnight