I'm over it...
Wow, today has drifted by in a haze. In fact, the past few weeks have been one big haze, sometimes happy, but mostly a big depressed, sad, haze. And I don't even have a reason to be depressed. Well, not true, my grades are slipping. I have two Cs, one in Calc 2 and one in Analytical chem, and I work my ass off in those classes. On a slightly brighter note, I have a high A in ochem. And econ is a breeze especially since i'll be able to study for this exam. My analytical exam has been pushed back a week, which is good. My calc exam is wednesday, and no matter how much I study I can't seem to get the hang of it. I fucking hate this class, i'll be lucky to get out with a B. I'm so disheartened with everything right now. School, cheerleading, life. Its just not interesting anymore, and I have no urge to go do anything, or talk to anyone, or try to make it more exciting. I'm just blah. So apathetic. Its not fun, at least the classes I have to put the most effort into aren't. They suck, and I spend all my time fretting and stressing about them. I've also been stress eating really REALLY bad, so i started a sort of diet today. I already kind of cheated since I had a few oreos, but I figure that they make up for the fact that I had a yogurt for lunch because I was too tired to eat. Or not hungry? Or too apathetic to be hungry? I don't know. Its sad when I don't feel like eating, because I eat constantly. I'm like a horse, I graze all day long. I was going to work out today, but I was again, too tired and too apathetic. I know I should, and I want to, but I can't motivate myself. Its hard enough just to movtivate myself to study for the exam I have on wednesday, and I know that i'm fucked for that. I don't know, all I can seem to do is cry about stupid things and imagine things that aren't true and its just weird. I hate it.
I dyed the underneath part of my hair bright red with temp dye. I like it, so I might make it permanent when i get it cut.
And i'm most likely getting my eyebrow pierced after my aunts wedding. And if the cheer coaches don't like it, they can kiss lily white ass.
I am also getting angry again...I need to try to keep that under control.
And I don't care to write anymore
I dyed the underneath part of my hair bright red with temp dye. I like it, so I might make it permanent when i get it cut.
And i'm most likely getting my eyebrow pierced after my aunts wedding. And if the cheer coaches don't like it, they can kiss lily white ass.
I am also getting angry again...I need to try to keep that under control.
And I don't care to write anymore