(no subject)
what's the point in living when you don't feel like you can achieve happiness? I think that happiness makes the difference between living and existing..and there really isn't any reason to breathe when they're shallow breaths..Sometimes i cry just to see if i still have emotions..it's hard for me to realize that it's over..and that nothing will come of our relationship except for meaningless tips on my next relationship.."next time don't do this..or don't say that"..i just wanna feel inroped in a relationship..without a care and without a need, except the other person..like death couldn't seperate our love..and i just feel that i'l never find him, or maybe he doesn't even exist..and i wonder if there is a purpose in life..and if all of this is just an accident..and if the only reason i'm alive is to keep the human race going by having kids..or if there's a spiritual purpose for me being here..and if God does exist..where the hell is he? I've never spoken to God or felt his presence..is this because i'm damned and haven't been baptized? or is it because it's all a big hoax to keep the "needy church" wearing silk? I don't knoe, but i feel bad about not caring..and i feel so ignorant..like i'm disgusted with myself..i feel like i don't know anything..and i feel like everyone else thinks i;m an idiot too..probaly because "you're only 15" and people who waste there time make me wanna vomit..