We Report, You Listen.
Bono ends world hunger for another U2 greatest hits compilation
New cricket graphic introduces never-before-seen visualisation of how shit England are
Uni student pretends she understands 'Ulysses'
Trendy new wave of country music identical to pop
Setting alarm involves pressing minute button 59 times
21st speech consists entirely of anecdotes about drinking
CNNNN cast member still waiting to pick up as a result of being on TV
UN Security Council rejects Iraqi weapon building application
Human race heeds environmental warning
Movie as good As Bill Collins promises
Red Hot Chili Peppers now fairly lukewarm
ABC news clip hilariously funny when taken completely out of context
Sitcom features exterior shot of house as breaker between scenes
Julian Morrow emphasises line by moving head
Glenn McGrath begins to accept he may never score a test century
Supermarket aisles arranged logically
Clever American interviewed during 'Market Research' segment ends up on cutting room floor
Pizza too big for one person, too small for two
Brilliant geneticist makes sow's ear out of silk purse
Girl surprised by success of 'playing easy to get' strategy
Amnesty criticises Monopoly board game for sending players to jail without fair trial
Man depressed by his friends having their first babies
Old chocolate bar experiments with daring 'white' version
Rumour that Mike Munro may act nobly scotched
Ordinary phrase has that certain 'Je Ne Sais Quoi' when translated into French
One energy drink more effective than another
Comedian angry that 'the Simpsons' has already done every joke
Internet user accepts popup invitation to visit world's largest online casino
Harrison Ford troubled and haggard in movie
John Travolta still optimistic 'Battlefield Earth' will be a sleeper hit in video stores
'Bizbiz Finance Report' and 'Dom's Sunny Outlook' DVD sales disappointing
Morrissey tries to beat writers' block by taking depressants
'1001 more jokes for kids' wins Montreal comedy festival
Pub jukebox offers tour of duty soundtrack
Journalist refers to Chaser group as "The Chaser Boys"
Ministry of Sound resumes diplomatic relations with Trance Nation
Kid regrets eating cooking chocolate
Bush unveils 'more efficient' plan for poor to pay their taxes directly to the rich
Cricket groupie hoping for a one-day stand
Child safety campaign patronising
Manga film loses something in translation
Winona Ryder given community service order: promises not to film sequel to 'Mr Deeds'
New Hollywood lovers sign pre-pre-nuptial agreement
Norton releases scanner to guard against joke emails
Critics slam Madonna's performance in birth home video as 'unconvincing'
Inkblot in Rorschach Test just looks like an inkblot
Mobile phone ad targets elderly
Petrol prices identical across city: spooky coincidence blamed
Alice says Australia's Wonderland 'somehow not quite the same'
Ontyseptine feminine ointment sales plummet when name changed to scrub-a-twat
Magician actually says 'abracadabra'
Ad breaks somewhat affect pace of televised movie
DVD director's commentary track completely fails to justify 'Freddy Got Fingered'
Gym visitor freezes to death on steppe machine
Dentist's bill seems worth it
Man eats sausage without having any phallic thoughts
Al Qaeda plans counter-counter-terrorism training
Sociologists identify new minority group for Eminem to vilify
Man dines at Black Stump without discount voucher
Glenn McGrath begins to accept he may never score a test century
'Perfect Match' viewer develops agro-phobia
Old woman keeps food past use-by date
Channel 7 dominates 5:30 am timeslot with 'Punky Brewster' reruns
The Lord Of The rings: the Two Towers' pipped in overly long title stakes by 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'
CNNNN viewer doesn't get RITa + LiN at all
Gym visitor freezes to death on steppe machine
Greatest hits album release coincides with Christmas
Jennifer Anastassakis' family still has trouble understanding why she changed her surname to Aniston
2-year-old insulted after painting compared to modern art
Simon Target sues Rudi Blass in paternity suit
Viewer sceptical about TV psychic John Edward
Old chocolate bar experiments with daring 'white' version
Lachlan Murdoch releases director's cut of FoxTel ad
High school student really relates to T.S. Eliot poem
Girl surprised by success of 'playing easy to get' strategy
Retirement village not the nicest place to retire
Full bench of Supreme Court rules that the one who said the rhyme did the crime
Contemporary art viewer says "i could have done that"
Bumper sticker fails to amuse
Greatest hits album release coincides with Christmas
Newsbar item not based on pun or observation
Nightclub fairly boring unless you're taking drugs
RITa + LiN's voices go up another octave
Classic fairytale grisly and disturbing when analysed carefully
US birth registry counts total of 0 babies christened 'Osama' in past 12 months
Women's gossip magazine cover tipped to feature Nicole Kidman
Friand half the size of muffin for twice the price
King-sized bed too big for actual king
Singer from Machine Gun Fellatio dies tragically after life imitates art
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
What do you get if you cross a hen with a bedside clock?
An alarm cluck!
What do you get if you cross a cowboy with an octopus?
Billy the squid!
CNNNN Newsbar would like to apologise for accidentally broadcasting the previous three Christmas cracker jokes
Cinderella spurned by prince after Ugly Sisters get boob jobs
Treadmill user feels like he's going nowhere
CNNNN to run some kind of charity in next satellite feed
Girl plays computer game other than Tetris
American TV kid annoying
Parent thinks photos of their baby cross-dressing are hilarious
cnnnn.com message board contributor writes 'i'm fungry'z
Kid regrets eating cooking chocolate
English cricket team campaign for "six and out" rule
Chris Taylor tipped to drop 'G' from upcoming present participle
King-sized bed too big for actual king
Dominic Knight 'never feels so free' as when being whipped by Anna Skellern
Coldplay song poignant
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos still strangely unembarrassed by marriage to John Stamos
'Crackerjack' release hailed as Australian cinema's eight thousandth coming of age
CNNNN vox pop involves oversized prop
Pimple cream ineffective
Kruder and Dorfmeister remix fails to increase trendiness of Wiggles song
Adult nappies now thrown more frequently than underpants on Tom Jones tour
Food scientists develop hygienic kebab
CNNNN wardrobe department announces lavender is in
Critics fear worst as Eddie Murphy to play all 293 roles in upcoming film
Drunk man persists in shouting 'Yabba Dabba Doo' like Fred Flintstone
Chris Taylor voted Mister Mullet 2002
High school captain nauseating
Treadmill user feels like he's going nowhere
Upcoming movie featuring 'Friends' star highly likely to suck
Chaser group squanders another golden merchandising opportunity
Computer user presses 'Print Screen/Sys Rq' key
'Classic hits' radio station spearheads Credence Clearwater Revival revival
Mathematician unable to explain why '42' a funnier punchline than '41'
Man who keeps burning candle at both ends finds it won't stand up properly
Viewer doubts CNNNN's American vox pops are for real
Interrogator of blind person turns lamp on guide dog
Simon Target impersonator to direct ABC cooking show
Furious Firth requires sedation during "Aborigines" report
New 'Firth' eyeliner causes sensation in transvestite community
Violent computer game blamed for man's brutal battering of control pad
"1001 more jokes for kids" wins at Montreux comedy festival
Babysitter squashes infant after taking job too literally
Lachlan Murdoch releases director's cut of FoxTel ad
Man complains about McDonald's food but eats it anyway
World in disbelief after sequel to 'The Santa Clause' released
FM radio station alters playlist
It's all fun and games until somebody gets arrested