(no subject)
i made a huge entry earlier but i deleted it again. it was just too patethic. i worked alone today and i had way too much time to think. i realised that nobody cares and i could lie dead in my flat for days, nobody would notice. but ah well...
i always claim i dont need anybody, well i am wrong, i need you so badly.
dan is acting really stange lately. he stays online for me, he's the only one who doesnt stop talking even if im in a quiet mood, he keeps on nudging me, talking to me, asking me whats wrong. he is hurt if i say he doesnt care... he really acts like he didnt already get sick of me and like he really cares. but I'm too afraid to believe, I mean, why would he care? why would somebody care at all? I'm just some girl from somewhere.
I care about 3 ppl most, and 2 of them get bloody hurt at the moment and i can fuckin do NOTHING against it. I wanna show them I'm here, I care... I really do, not just saying that... but they dont need me, they dont believe me or they dont see me. I can do whatever i want, i just sound like a stalker, but im not. I'm just a friend who fuckin cares.
I wonder if anybody realises that I'm a real person with feelings. Even tho I'm in another country, even tho they dont see me when their computer is off... I'm STILL here, I'm still thinking of them and I'm still a real person. you can switch computers off but you cant switch me off... but why would they realise? means they would think of me and that's just...ridiculous. Even tho i need you so bad... if you ever meet me, claim to care, take me in your arms and tell me everything's gonna be alright, please do, I dont care if it's a lie... just do it.
ok this entry was as patethic as the last one and if you read it, thanks for wasting some minutes of your life for me.
i always claim i dont need anybody, well i am wrong, i need you so badly.
dan is acting really stange lately. he stays online for me, he's the only one who doesnt stop talking even if im in a quiet mood, he keeps on nudging me, talking to me, asking me whats wrong. he is hurt if i say he doesnt care... he really acts like he didnt already get sick of me and like he really cares. but I'm too afraid to believe, I mean, why would he care? why would somebody care at all? I'm just some girl from somewhere.
I care about 3 ppl most, and 2 of them get bloody hurt at the moment and i can fuckin do NOTHING against it. I wanna show them I'm here, I care... I really do, not just saying that... but they dont need me, they dont believe me or they dont see me. I can do whatever i want, i just sound like a stalker, but im not. I'm just a friend who fuckin cares.
I wonder if anybody realises that I'm a real person with feelings. Even tho I'm in another country, even tho they dont see me when their computer is off... I'm STILL here, I'm still thinking of them and I'm still a real person. you can switch computers off but you cant switch me off... but why would they realise? means they would think of me and that's just...ridiculous. Even tho i need you so bad... if you ever meet me, claim to care, take me in your arms and tell me everything's gonna be alright, please do, I dont care if it's a lie... just do it.
ok this entry was as patethic as the last one and if you read it, thanks for wasting some minutes of your life for me.