good review ^^
Happy review, for a really good PRDT fanfic... you should all go read it, right now, I don't care if you don't like PRDT, you will like this fic.
Man Versus Myth
by: Sarafu
An average student gets a closer look at the boy behind the “king of all jocks” mask and tries to reconcile what she knows with what she learns. [complete] Rated G, 3587 words, published 6/17/04.
Your title was very interesting, and the summary just drew me right in, even before I'd read this fic. See, I'm a sucker for fics where old is compared to new, and having the main character have to "reconcile" what she "knows" with what she sees that day is very... interesting to me.
I can also safely say that I will now be stalking you.
I only see a few, natural comma mistakes and other such things (some sentences are slightly awkward in their wording), but overall your fic gives off an aura of wonderful grammar and details. That's actually pretty rare, especially in a section like Power Rangers.
This one also has a quite original plot, as far as I am concerned. Most fics, in any section, deal with the main characters. Characters with no names--"extras", really--often are in positions to make the most interesting comparisons and observations that characters involved in the main action of a fandom cannot. Like in the case of your Elise Daniels. She’s definitely no Mary Sue. Instead, Elise is the kind of girl that the majority of the population can identify with: absent from the limelight, somewhat shy, and taken advantage of by life and people. She’s the perfect character to tell a story from. Everyone can understand what she’s thinking, because they’ve all been there before. She’s not likely to think in technobabble, which only a certain population would truly understand, she’s not likely to think in abstract, artistic terms, and she’s definitely not likely to start thinking in terms of which carbs are good and which are bad. That makes her observations all the more precious that so many people can understand and follow her thought processes.
The scene where Elise eavesdrops on Conner’s and Ethan’s conversation is amazing in its intricacies. What I find funniest is that you write this scene so well into the flow of your story that the reader only dimly recognizes that Elise is spying on a private conversation for the sake of curiosity. Normally this sort of thing would be overly exaggerated as “wrong”, but “curiosity killed the cat”. I rather prefer how subtle it is here.
Another amusing thing that could possibly be a flaw is the fact that neither Ethan nor Conner noticed Elise lingering within hearing distance of them. In a crowded hallway, or perhaps a noisy classroom, one would have to loiter rather close to the conversation to hear it in its entirety. Battle should have, by this time, sharpened the Rangers’ awareness to the point where they would notice her. Still, one could assume that a lot of people were loitering, trying to deny that another class is waiting for them, and that Conner and Ethan would have taken no more notice of Elise than they would have a trash can.
I’m also entertained by the observations that Elise makes. They are often quite ironic, and definitely seem to be the best method of conveying the message of this story: That Conner Has Changed. Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, how would Elise know that Conner’s hatred for Trent was irrational? She doesn’t know much about their lives outside of school, nor does she interact with them on a regular basis, so how would she know that this hatred was a relatively new thing? Then again, lots of arguments could be brought up supporting your viewpoint, but I just wanted to bring that to your attention.
Hallucinations, especially after long thought, are actually quite common among the populace. Lord knows how often I hallucinate my teachers asking me if I’m paying attention. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t answer them anymore, because I’m afraid that I might just have gotten carried away with my daydreaming during class! Elise thinking that she had imagined someone like Conner just appearing out of nowhere is quite understandable and no less humorous, especially from the position of the reader. It sets the mood perfectly, and adds in just the right bit of jest.
I don’t think I can express properly how amazed and grateful I am that you wrote a story like this. I crave viewpoints on friendship, especially from outside of a circle. Those views might not be able to express everything, but such stories often provide an objective look into loyalty, kindness, camaraderie, and love. Your story… well, it fulfills any such aspirations I might have ever had were I to write one of my own. I highly doubt that anyone could write anything that could top this story with a similar idea behind it… and I commend you on that.
You’ve earned my admiration, and my obsessive love… though I wouldn’t expect reviews this long on your other fics O.o
Added to my favorites.
~ SilverCaladan ~
Man Versus Myth
by: Sarafu
An average student gets a closer look at the boy behind the “king of all jocks” mask and tries to reconcile what she knows with what she learns. [complete] Rated G, 3587 words, published 6/17/04.
Your title was very interesting, and the summary just drew me right in, even before I'd read this fic. See, I'm a sucker for fics where old is compared to new, and having the main character have to "reconcile" what she "knows" with what she sees that day is very... interesting to me.
I can also safely say that I will now be stalking you.
I only see a few, natural comma mistakes and other such things (some sentences are slightly awkward in their wording), but overall your fic gives off an aura of wonderful grammar and details. That's actually pretty rare, especially in a section like Power Rangers.
This one also has a quite original plot, as far as I am concerned. Most fics, in any section, deal with the main characters. Characters with no names--"extras", really--often are in positions to make the most interesting comparisons and observations that characters involved in the main action of a fandom cannot. Like in the case of your Elise Daniels. She’s definitely no Mary Sue. Instead, Elise is the kind of girl that the majority of the population can identify with: absent from the limelight, somewhat shy, and taken advantage of by life and people. She’s the perfect character to tell a story from. Everyone can understand what she’s thinking, because they’ve all been there before. She’s not likely to think in technobabble, which only a certain population would truly understand, she’s not likely to think in abstract, artistic terms, and she’s definitely not likely to start thinking in terms of which carbs are good and which are bad. That makes her observations all the more precious that so many people can understand and follow her thought processes.
The scene where Elise eavesdrops on Conner’s and Ethan’s conversation is amazing in its intricacies. What I find funniest is that you write this scene so well into the flow of your story that the reader only dimly recognizes that Elise is spying on a private conversation for the sake of curiosity. Normally this sort of thing would be overly exaggerated as “wrong”, but “curiosity killed the cat”. I rather prefer how subtle it is here.
Another amusing thing that could possibly be a flaw is the fact that neither Ethan nor Conner noticed Elise lingering within hearing distance of them. In a crowded hallway, or perhaps a noisy classroom, one would have to loiter rather close to the conversation to hear it in its entirety. Battle should have, by this time, sharpened the Rangers’ awareness to the point where they would notice her. Still, one could assume that a lot of people were loitering, trying to deny that another class is waiting for them, and that Conner and Ethan would have taken no more notice of Elise than they would have a trash can.
I’m also entertained by the observations that Elise makes. They are often quite ironic, and definitely seem to be the best method of conveying the message of this story: That Conner Has Changed. Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, how would Elise know that Conner’s hatred for Trent was irrational? She doesn’t know much about their lives outside of school, nor does she interact with them on a regular basis, so how would she know that this hatred was a relatively new thing? Then again, lots of arguments could be brought up supporting your viewpoint, but I just wanted to bring that to your attention.
Hallucinations, especially after long thought, are actually quite common among the populace. Lord knows how often I hallucinate my teachers asking me if I’m paying attention. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t answer them anymore, because I’m afraid that I might just have gotten carried away with my daydreaming during class! Elise thinking that she had imagined someone like Conner just appearing out of nowhere is quite understandable and no less humorous, especially from the position of the reader. It sets the mood perfectly, and adds in just the right bit of jest.
I don’t think I can express properly how amazed and grateful I am that you wrote a story like this. I crave viewpoints on friendship, especially from outside of a circle. Those views might not be able to express everything, but such stories often provide an objective look into loyalty, kindness, camaraderie, and love. Your story… well, it fulfills any such aspirations I might have ever had were I to write one of my own. I highly doubt that anyone could write anything that could top this story with a similar idea behind it… and I commend you on that.
You’ve earned my admiration, and my obsessive love… though I wouldn’t expect reviews this long on your other fics O.o
Added to my favorites.
~ SilverCaladan ~