Cleaning People
So, today we had some people come in to clean the apartment. Those who have been following my history along for long enough remember that I actually worked as a house cleaner while I was in Florida. And in some ways, I worked that way for several years in my mom's house. And in our household organization, most of the house keeping has been under my purview. Brian takes up the dishes and laundry folding, as well as the litter box. These chores are actually not unlike the ones my mom gave me very early on in my life. I did the rest: cooking, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom (shower, toilet, sink, mirrors, floors), dusting, organizing, starting laundry, and other miscellaneous house chores. I also did the shopping. When you look at it that way, it was highly unbalanced in how much work each of us gets from the house. But, after it became obvious that Brian was going to be the one with the 40-hour week job, while I would not be getting that high possibly ever (even at Aerosoles, the most I ever got was 35, which is really close...but it wasn't consistently there longer than a few weeks), it became less important to balance those things.
Then, I got pregnant and we found out exactly what "morning sickness" means to my body. I've been out of commission in a big way for now a little longer than a month (because even before I got sick, I was battling strong fatigue). During that time, there have been days when Brian has done almost nothing other than take care of me, feed the animals, and sleep. A lot of things in the apartment began to slip, and it was only going to get worse. Before I'd gone under the covers of the bed, not to be seen again for weeks, I was in the middle of about four or five reorganization projects. I had plans, and was beginning to execute them. Those plans have been just sitting around looking messy and gathering dust.
There's not a lot either of us can do about those right now. They require my personal touch, and I can't be there to even look at them, let alone touch them. But, there were things that could have been done...that weren't getting done. Brian only has so much time in the day, and a lot of it is taken up with care for me and the animals, mostly providing food. So, when my mom suggested we get a maid service to come in and get the apartment straightened out, and even offered to pay for it, I voted for it immediately. The floor had not been vacuumed since I had done it a month and a half ago, and was gross. Dust was everywhere, and there was buildup in all sorts of places in various rooms. The shower was starting to smell, and the bathroom floor was icky.
And two women, almost three hours, and $95 later, the apartment looks liveable again. It's not even up to my mom's standards yet (through no fault of the cleaners--it's our clutter), but at least she'll be able to spend hours in the place without wanting to throw herself out of the window (not that it would do much good, as we're on the first story now). I know because *I* feel more comfortable spending hours trapped here. It's weird having strangers come into your home and mess with your stuff. I know that it's not nearly as personal as it seems--on the other end, I don't really give a shit. I don't even SEE most of the things I'm dealing with; I'm just evaluating what has to be cleaned, how to clean it, and so on. People worry a lot about cleaners judging them, and I can't speak for everyone, but most of the time when I've seen others working and done it myself, it's just not what's going on in their head. You judge the person by the person, rather than the mess or stuff they have. All I can say though is that they two women were polite, well-mannered, and efficient. I didn't feel like they were wasting my time (they're hourly, rather than per-job), and both worked very hard to get the things that aren't always cleaned, but still make things unclean. (Example: A lot of people ignore cleaning framed art, especially in their own homes, and lamp shades.)
I'm happy we did it, even if it had cost another $100. They had all natural cleaning supplies, and they scented several with lavender oil so it smelled of that instead of cleaning supplies (and though the lavender made my stomach unhappy, it was nearly as unhappy as it would have been with BLEACH....talk about death in a smell). This was actually something that was a factor of choosing the company we wanted. I had simple demands: one of them spoke English fluently (or was American/English), they used natural cleaning supplies,and they would understand that I would be basically in bed the entire time because I'm still not feeling well. As for the rest...whatever. As it turned out, this is a local cleaning business run by a woman who just had her third baby three weeks ago. It's 5 women, all of whom are native to Portland (all speak English as a first language, though they are not all Caucasian), and they believe strongly in using only natural supplies, particularly in a home with children or pregnant women. They even brought me herbal tea! It was a good experience, and we're likely to call them back when things get like this again in a few months (and trust me...they will).
Now, I'm going to head back to resting. I've been feeling ALMOST normal today. I think. I'm actually not sure how close I am to normal, as I've forgotten what that felt like, but, I think I'm approaching it. I still have trouble standing for too long before the nausea starts to ride a little higher, but I can now sit up all day (this is new--for weeks I have been stuck primarily laying completely down, usually on my left side). But, I think I'm getting almost normal, although my food aversions are not letting up. As Brian is trying to figure out what to eat tonight, he ran through his options pretty fast: "No ethnic. No Asian. No Mexican. No burgers. No salads. No sandwiches. No soup. No pasta. But, no starving." Salad is not necessarily totally out--not the way that soup or pasta is. Those, I cannot get past my mouth. I've managed to eat salads down, though some of them have come back up again. But, things with a lot of spices (not even just spicy, but having a lot of flavors) are pretty much completely out, which cuts out a lot of different types of cooking. Also, Asian cooking means either a lot of flavors and foods I cannot eat (Chinese, Thai, Korean) or foods I cannot get into my mouth like noodles or fish (Japanese, Korean). It's very, very frustrating.
Our battle with food is every single day, and we never know what I'll reject on a day. And believe me, it's not mental attitude. No one is sicker of my "picky eating" than me. I make Brian look like a saint in my hatred of myself in making things so difficult. Even then, I say: I am willing to try anything. I mean it, too. We NEVER know what will or will not work. We didn't expect bagels with cream cheese of all things to work so well. I've been getting them down without even a hint of wanting them to come back up. This was a fluke of just figuring, why the shit not? However, this has also meant a lot of foods have been turned down, like peas or burritos. Yogurt has been hit or miss, with more misses than hits lately. I cannot wait until I can eat real food again, and fake food again! I want to order 4 items at August Moon! I want 5 rolls and an appetizer at Mio Sushi! I want spicy eggplant, tom yum soup, and crispy duck from a Thai Derm! I want a full combo plate of joy from any number of Mexican restaurants! I want chocolate truffles and cotton candy and funnel cake and lemon bars and brownies...
But, more importantly, I want to actually WANT these things again. A part of me wants them...but, it's not the part that would be eating them. That part wants nothing. I have no cravings at all. Just a lot of aversions.
I have decided though that as a treat, when Brian and I get out of this trimester, and I feel better not for a day or two at a time, or have up days and down days, but when I'm feeling normal for a full week, then I'm going to make Fried Pizza. It's a family recipe thing--my German grandmother made them, though they're not German. My mom used to make them about once or twice a year (this is how decadent they are--not a weekly meatloaf recipe, this) for special occasions (they often made an appearance during the year on someone's birthday, though no year did two people choose it). I almost ALWAYS overeat, and most significantly, so does my mom and just about everyone. It's very decadent, and yet really delightful. I've never known anyone who didn't like them, in part because you get to build your own, and my mom has gotten brilliant at deep frying in her years (she NEVER over or under fries, and things never come out so greasy you want to vomit). And though I've never, ever made them before (I've done some of the steps in part, and watched the end a thousand times, with my mom explaining aloud what she was doing, every time she did it), I feel I can do it. I'm going to have my run me through the recipe while she's here, if we're both up to it. My mom thinks it's both a silly idea, and a good one. Both Brian and I need something to look forward to, and we need a treat to run towards. This will be something fun for both of us. And possibly made by both of us, as Brian has made much more pizza dough than I have (we're standing at something like Brian: 9, Me: 0 XD).
We all need something to look forward to.
Then, I got pregnant and we found out exactly what "morning sickness" means to my body. I've been out of commission in a big way for now a little longer than a month (because even before I got sick, I was battling strong fatigue). During that time, there have been days when Brian has done almost nothing other than take care of me, feed the animals, and sleep. A lot of things in the apartment began to slip, and it was only going to get worse. Before I'd gone under the covers of the bed, not to be seen again for weeks, I was in the middle of about four or five reorganization projects. I had plans, and was beginning to execute them. Those plans have been just sitting around looking messy and gathering dust.
There's not a lot either of us can do about those right now. They require my personal touch, and I can't be there to even look at them, let alone touch them. But, there were things that could have been done...that weren't getting done. Brian only has so much time in the day, and a lot of it is taken up with care for me and the animals, mostly providing food. So, when my mom suggested we get a maid service to come in and get the apartment straightened out, and even offered to pay for it, I voted for it immediately. The floor had not been vacuumed since I had done it a month and a half ago, and was gross. Dust was everywhere, and there was buildup in all sorts of places in various rooms. The shower was starting to smell, and the bathroom floor was icky.
And two women, almost three hours, and $95 later, the apartment looks liveable again. It's not even up to my mom's standards yet (through no fault of the cleaners--it's our clutter), but at least she'll be able to spend hours in the place without wanting to throw herself out of the window (not that it would do much good, as we're on the first story now). I know because *I* feel more comfortable spending hours trapped here. It's weird having strangers come into your home and mess with your stuff. I know that it's not nearly as personal as it seems--on the other end, I don't really give a shit. I don't even SEE most of the things I'm dealing with; I'm just evaluating what has to be cleaned, how to clean it, and so on. People worry a lot about cleaners judging them, and I can't speak for everyone, but most of the time when I've seen others working and done it myself, it's just not what's going on in their head. You judge the person by the person, rather than the mess or stuff they have. All I can say though is that they two women were polite, well-mannered, and efficient. I didn't feel like they were wasting my time (they're hourly, rather than per-job), and both worked very hard to get the things that aren't always cleaned, but still make things unclean. (Example: A lot of people ignore cleaning framed art, especially in their own homes, and lamp shades.)
I'm happy we did it, even if it had cost another $100. They had all natural cleaning supplies, and they scented several with lavender oil so it smelled of that instead of cleaning supplies (and though the lavender made my stomach unhappy, it was nearly as unhappy as it would have been with BLEACH....talk about death in a smell). This was actually something that was a factor of choosing the company we wanted. I had simple demands: one of them spoke English fluently (or was American/English), they used natural cleaning supplies,and they would understand that I would be basically in bed the entire time because I'm still not feeling well. As for the rest...whatever. As it turned out, this is a local cleaning business run by a woman who just had her third baby three weeks ago. It's 5 women, all of whom are native to Portland (all speak English as a first language, though they are not all Caucasian), and they believe strongly in using only natural supplies, particularly in a home with children or pregnant women. They even brought me herbal tea! It was a good experience, and we're likely to call them back when things get like this again in a few months (and trust me...they will).
Now, I'm going to head back to resting. I've been feeling ALMOST normal today. I think. I'm actually not sure how close I am to normal, as I've forgotten what that felt like, but, I think I'm approaching it. I still have trouble standing for too long before the nausea starts to ride a little higher, but I can now sit up all day (this is new--for weeks I have been stuck primarily laying completely down, usually on my left side). But, I think I'm getting almost normal, although my food aversions are not letting up. As Brian is trying to figure out what to eat tonight, he ran through his options pretty fast: "No ethnic. No Asian. No Mexican. No burgers. No salads. No sandwiches. No soup. No pasta. But, no starving." Salad is not necessarily totally out--not the way that soup or pasta is. Those, I cannot get past my mouth. I've managed to eat salads down, though some of them have come back up again. But, things with a lot of spices (not even just spicy, but having a lot of flavors) are pretty much completely out, which cuts out a lot of different types of cooking. Also, Asian cooking means either a lot of flavors and foods I cannot eat (Chinese, Thai, Korean) or foods I cannot get into my mouth like noodles or fish (Japanese, Korean). It's very, very frustrating.
Our battle with food is every single day, and we never know what I'll reject on a day. And believe me, it's not mental attitude. No one is sicker of my "picky eating" than me. I make Brian look like a saint in my hatred of myself in making things so difficult. Even then, I say: I am willing to try anything. I mean it, too. We NEVER know what will or will not work. We didn't expect bagels with cream cheese of all things to work so well. I've been getting them down without even a hint of wanting them to come back up. This was a fluke of just figuring, why the shit not? However, this has also meant a lot of foods have been turned down, like peas or burritos. Yogurt has been hit or miss, with more misses than hits lately. I cannot wait until I can eat real food again, and fake food again! I want to order 4 items at August Moon! I want 5 rolls and an appetizer at Mio Sushi! I want spicy eggplant, tom yum soup, and crispy duck from a Thai Derm! I want a full combo plate of joy from any number of Mexican restaurants! I want chocolate truffles and cotton candy and funnel cake and lemon bars and brownies...
But, more importantly, I want to actually WANT these things again. A part of me wants them...but, it's not the part that would be eating them. That part wants nothing. I have no cravings at all. Just a lot of aversions.
I have decided though that as a treat, when Brian and I get out of this trimester, and I feel better not for a day or two at a time, or have up days and down days, but when I'm feeling normal for a full week, then I'm going to make Fried Pizza. It's a family recipe thing--my German grandmother made them, though they're not German. My mom used to make them about once or twice a year (this is how decadent they are--not a weekly meatloaf recipe, this) for special occasions (they often made an appearance during the year on someone's birthday, though no year did two people choose it). I almost ALWAYS overeat, and most significantly, so does my mom and just about everyone. It's very decadent, and yet really delightful. I've never known anyone who didn't like them, in part because you get to build your own, and my mom has gotten brilliant at deep frying in her years (she NEVER over or under fries, and things never come out so greasy you want to vomit). And though I've never, ever made them before (I've done some of the steps in part, and watched the end a thousand times, with my mom explaining aloud what she was doing, every time she did it), I feel I can do it. I'm going to have my run me through the recipe while she's here, if we're both up to it. My mom thinks it's both a silly idea, and a good one. Both Brian and I need something to look forward to, and we need a treat to run towards. This will be something fun for both of us. And possibly made by both of us, as Brian has made much more pizza dough than I have (we're standing at something like Brian: 9, Me: 0 XD).
We all need something to look forward to.