The Nature of the Name
I can't help my feeling of snobbery when the issue of names comes up. After all, not only was I blessed (in my opinion) with a relatively unique name with an awesome history, but I actually bend the standard rules by having a hyphenated FIRST name (that's right, first, not last--booyah). This leads to great confusion and despair at times (and a paper trail so convuluted that I should have joined the CIA...or Men In Black if they change their hiring criteria).
But, one thing it really rarely leads to is the feeling that I am NOT a unique and special snowflake. Most of the time, I feel like an awesome snowflake. Sometimes, like this past week, I get reminded that I am not the only "Athena" in the world.
There was one of those PA announcements in a store like, "Patricia, please meet your party at the service counter." Only this one said, "Athena, please meet your party at the service counter." I was like, *looks at Brian* "But, my party is here...with me." Then I realized--they weren't talking about ME. It was SOME OTHER Athena. =O
Things like that weird me out, because then I start thinking about what it must be like for "everyone else." You know, all you people who share your name with DOZENS...even HUNDREDS and THOUSANDS of other people...most of whom you will meet in your life, even if you never live outside the state you born in.
Somehow--let's skip over how--I ended up on the Social Security website that documents the popularity of names from year to year. I've already ran a couple of my potential child-names (should any of them fit the nature of the child...I'm not predetermining anyones fate here; I'll name them when I meet them, not before), and checked that no one has been registered with the name at least in the 1000 for the past 100 years in America. That way, they too can feel unique.
Because I can't imagine that it's easy to tell yourself that you're special when you share your name with so many people.
Plus, how fucking depressing is it to know that 2009's most popular baby names are "Isabella" and "Jacob"? No, seriously. And last year, 2008, it was "Emma" then "Isabella" and "Jacob." There are some reasons to hope that at least not every Jacob out there is named after the stupid teen romance character--it's been the number one male name since 1999, long before Meyer thought that she could finally write her teen Mormon masturbation fantasy. And from 2007 to 1996, "Emily" held #1 for the girls team. The thing that frightens me, especially since as far as these things go I think it's a nice sounding name? That the running male champion for #1 most used name for babies born between 1998 and 1961 (yes 1998 to 1961, in an unbroken line of popularity) is the name "Michael." For some reason, "David" was the most popular baby boy named for 1960, and then it was Michael 1959 to 1954. During that same time frame, the girls went from Emily to Jessica to Ashley to Jessica again to Jennifer to Lisa (makes me feel kinda bad, since my mom was born around then and is named Lisa) to Mary.
One thing I know for sure, unless I birth one extremely ordinary baby, one who basically comes out saying, "NAME ME MARY!!!!! I AM THAT ORDINARY AND SIMILAR TO OTHERS!! I MUST HAVE A BORING NAME THAT I WILL SHARE WITH MILLIONS!!!!!" I am not giving them an ordinary name. Even my name makes the lists--that's right, other people name their kid "Athena." Of course, no one actually has my full first name except me. People don't hyphen first names, unless it's things like "Mary-Sue" or "Mary-Jane" and such, and that's mostly to work in not one but TWO ordinary names in a futile attempt to avoid mediocrity of the name variety. Mine is unheard of as a combination: "Eve-Athena." That's right. Eve, as in the wife of Adam in the Garden, the one who fucks over humanity in the Hebrew and therefore Christian mythology. And Athena, the ancient Grecian goddess of Wisdom, Protection of Warriors in War, and Arts and Crafts (who was one of the three virgin goddesses of Mt. Olympus, fyi). Opposing theologies, and somewhat opposing female personalities ("Eve" the dumbass, and "Athena" the rockin' sockin' uber over-achieving goddess).
So, I get to go through life knowing that no one is exactly me. Oh sure, you can get last names and middle names to try and get things more awesome. But, if you're unlucky like my man, not only does someone have your first and last name, but he changed it into something more sinsiter to pursue his rocking goth lifestyle (search "Brian Warner"--their middle names ARE different though). And his initials are taken by someone already too ("Brian Michael Warner" (yes, the offending "Michael")). His sister's name, "Emily" and his, "Brian" both made it into the top 50 of baby names for 1987. Mine was in the top 500 for pretty much every year, except for 1958 when it didn't make it into the top 1000, and barely made it onto the lists for 1957 and 1960. And by "mine" I mean my use-name, Athena.
Cool facts?
The name "Milly" is not on the top 1000 lists for the past 100 years, not as an official name on the Social Security list. Neither is "Anji." And, without and surprise, neither was "Netlee." The bottom line? GET A NICKNAME. And spell it differently than other people, because frankly, the name you have isn't original enough to be just "yours." But, you can at least find a nickname that a lot of other people don't have. Oh sure, you'll run into the "Milli"s and "Millie"s and even some "Milly"s and let's not even cover the "Angie"s you'll encounter (though no one can claim to have met another Netlee), but those will be far fewer that the Melissas and Angelas of the world. u_u
Names are important. We associate with it day after day, and slowly but surely, we become that name. Whatever we think that name represents, that's how we begin to see ourselves. If you're told that you're named after someone intelligent, capable in a fight, but with an artsy side.....is it really that much of a surprise when you come out with a B.A. in English from a University of California, several belts in a form of fighting known for its effective brutality, and a tendency to make everything from acryllic paintings to jewelry to stuffed felt dolls resembling Gundam Wing pilots? Think about it. Name your kid something that fits them, something that you want them to become, something that you think will help them believe that they really are a beautiful and unique snowflake who has just a good a chance as anybody for finding and keeping happiness.
Or, hey, just name her/him "Isabella" and "Jacob" and hope they turn out like everyone else's kid...you know, the one in the corner playing their DS while listening to their iPod in their Nike shoes texting their friends on their Droid about how stupid you are, especially since you cut their allowance down to only $400 a week.
PS--One of my brothers (those who know how many I have will say, of course one of your brothers...) is named Jacob. He got into computer geek tech and married a Japanese woman who doesn't speak a lot of great English. Just, you know, throwing that out there.
But, one thing it really rarely leads to is the feeling that I am NOT a unique and special snowflake. Most of the time, I feel like an awesome snowflake. Sometimes, like this past week, I get reminded that I am not the only "Athena" in the world.
There was one of those PA announcements in a store like, "Patricia, please meet your party at the service counter." Only this one said, "Athena, please meet your party at the service counter." I was like, *looks at Brian* "But, my party is here...with me." Then I realized--they weren't talking about ME. It was SOME OTHER Athena. =O
Things like that weird me out, because then I start thinking about what it must be like for "everyone else." You know, all you people who share your name with DOZENS...even HUNDREDS and THOUSANDS of other people...most of whom you will meet in your life, even if you never live outside the state you born in.
Somehow--let's skip over how--I ended up on the Social Security website that documents the popularity of names from year to year. I've already ran a couple of my potential child-names (should any of them fit the nature of the child...I'm not predetermining anyones fate here; I'll name them when I meet them, not before), and checked that no one has been registered with the name at least in the 1000 for the past 100 years in America. That way, they too can feel unique.
Because I can't imagine that it's easy to tell yourself that you're special when you share your name with so many people.
Plus, how fucking depressing is it to know that 2009's most popular baby names are "Isabella" and "Jacob"? No, seriously. And last year, 2008, it was "Emma" then "Isabella" and "Jacob." There are some reasons to hope that at least not every Jacob out there is named after the stupid teen romance character--it's been the number one male name since 1999, long before Meyer thought that she could finally write her teen Mormon masturbation fantasy. And from 2007 to 1996, "Emily" held #1 for the girls team. The thing that frightens me, especially since as far as these things go I think it's a nice sounding name? That the running male champion for #1 most used name for babies born between 1998 and 1961 (yes 1998 to 1961, in an unbroken line of popularity) is the name "Michael." For some reason, "David" was the most popular baby boy named for 1960, and then it was Michael 1959 to 1954. During that same time frame, the girls went from Emily to Jessica to Ashley to Jessica again to Jennifer to Lisa (makes me feel kinda bad, since my mom was born around then and is named Lisa) to Mary.
One thing I know for sure, unless I birth one extremely ordinary baby, one who basically comes out saying, "NAME ME MARY!!!!! I AM THAT ORDINARY AND SIMILAR TO OTHERS!! I MUST HAVE A BORING NAME THAT I WILL SHARE WITH MILLIONS!!!!!" I am not giving them an ordinary name. Even my name makes the lists--that's right, other people name their kid "Athena." Of course, no one actually has my full first name except me. People don't hyphen first names, unless it's things like "Mary-Sue" or "Mary-Jane" and such, and that's mostly to work in not one but TWO ordinary names in a futile attempt to avoid mediocrity of the name variety. Mine is unheard of as a combination: "Eve-Athena." That's right. Eve, as in the wife of Adam in the Garden, the one who fucks over humanity in the Hebrew and therefore Christian mythology. And Athena, the ancient Grecian goddess of Wisdom, Protection of Warriors in War, and Arts and Crafts (who was one of the three virgin goddesses of Mt. Olympus, fyi). Opposing theologies, and somewhat opposing female personalities ("Eve" the dumbass, and "Athena" the rockin' sockin' uber over-achieving goddess).
So, I get to go through life knowing that no one is exactly me. Oh sure, you can get last names and middle names to try and get things more awesome. But, if you're unlucky like my man, not only does someone have your first and last name, but he changed it into something more sinsiter to pursue his rocking goth lifestyle (search "Brian Warner"--their middle names ARE different though). And his initials are taken by someone already too ("Brian Michael Warner" (yes, the offending "Michael")). His sister's name, "Emily" and his, "Brian" both made it into the top 50 of baby names for 1987. Mine was in the top 500 for pretty much every year, except for 1958 when it didn't make it into the top 1000, and barely made it onto the lists for 1957 and 1960. And by "mine" I mean my use-name, Athena.
Cool facts?
The name "Milly" is not on the top 1000 lists for the past 100 years, not as an official name on the Social Security list. Neither is "Anji." And, without and surprise, neither was "Netlee." The bottom line? GET A NICKNAME. And spell it differently than other people, because frankly, the name you have isn't original enough to be just "yours." But, you can at least find a nickname that a lot of other people don't have. Oh sure, you'll run into the "Milli"s and "Millie"s and even some "Milly"s and let's not even cover the "Angie"s you'll encounter (though no one can claim to have met another Netlee), but those will be far fewer that the Melissas and Angelas of the world. u_u
Names are important. We associate with it day after day, and slowly but surely, we become that name. Whatever we think that name represents, that's how we begin to see ourselves. If you're told that you're named after someone intelligent, capable in a fight, but with an artsy side.....is it really that much of a surprise when you come out with a B.A. in English from a University of California, several belts in a form of fighting known for its effective brutality, and a tendency to make everything from acryllic paintings to jewelry to stuffed felt dolls resembling Gundam Wing pilots? Think about it. Name your kid something that fits them, something that you want them to become, something that you think will help them believe that they really are a beautiful and unique snowflake who has just a good a chance as anybody for finding and keeping happiness.
Or, hey, just name her/him "Isabella" and "Jacob" and hope they turn out like everyone else's kid...you know, the one in the corner playing their DS while listening to their iPod in their Nike shoes texting their friends on their Droid about how stupid you are, especially since you cut their allowance down to only $400 a week.
PS--One of my brothers (those who know how many I have will say, of course one of your brothers...) is named Jacob. He got into computer geek tech and married a Japanese woman who doesn't speak a lot of great English. Just, you know, throwing that out there.