Snorkle Snorkle Doot Doot
Okay. Once again, I am off to a Meet Up event to mingle with strangers. This time, however, it's just me. Brian is holding down the fort (or the fork, as I initially heard it as a younger me), and I'm off to a Picnic In The Rose Garden Park. I'm a little nervous, as it's a bunch of people I do no know...in a place I've never been to before...and I don't know about anyone else's idea of what this event is going to be...
I'm armed with my Picnic Dress and Cute Headband and Kawaii Bentou, and I hope for the best. I'm pretty sure I'll be a little overdressed, considering that most people will be thinking "jeans and t-shirt" weather, but...I never get to wear this dress. It's a Picnic Dress. =( I'm sure it'll make me stand out...and I am not sure how I feel about that.
The thing that makes me the most nervous is that I feel as if I'm the New Kid At School again. Normally, I'm confident when I meet other people. I know who I am, and I know that some people will adore me and some people will despise me, and still others will not care one way or another. But, the last time I made a giant move like this and went to "school" I became an outcast, for two years. I know what it's like to be made fun of by an entire class of people, and to be isolated by your peers. It makes me a little more skittish around people than others, I know. I go in with the assumption that most people won't like me. It's just a survival technique that I've picked up along the way of being on the receiving end of peer cruelty, and it's not one I can uproot in my attitude, as I have seen absolutely no evidence to suggest that this is a bad assumption to operate under.
So, I'm a little nervous. I can already feel myself shutting down a little. I'm prepared to have to walk around the garden by myself. I've been sick since Friday as well, so I'm barely recovered enough to feel as if I can actually go out like this. It makes me feel tired and more reluctant as well. I have a strong desire to just stay home, play video games, rest, and start writing back to my pen-pal Ayaka.
But, off I go, into the unknown. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself (and spiders).
I'm armed with my Picnic Dress and Cute Headband and Kawaii Bentou, and I hope for the best. I'm pretty sure I'll be a little overdressed, considering that most people will be thinking "jeans and t-shirt" weather, but...I never get to wear this dress. It's a Picnic Dress. =( I'm sure it'll make me stand out...and I am not sure how I feel about that.
The thing that makes me the most nervous is that I feel as if I'm the New Kid At School again. Normally, I'm confident when I meet other people. I know who I am, and I know that some people will adore me and some people will despise me, and still others will not care one way or another. But, the last time I made a giant move like this and went to "school" I became an outcast, for two years. I know what it's like to be made fun of by an entire class of people, and to be isolated by your peers. It makes me a little more skittish around people than others, I know. I go in with the assumption that most people won't like me. It's just a survival technique that I've picked up along the way of being on the receiving end of peer cruelty, and it's not one I can uproot in my attitude, as I have seen absolutely no evidence to suggest that this is a bad assumption to operate under.
So, I'm a little nervous. I can already feel myself shutting down a little. I'm prepared to have to walk around the garden by myself. I've been sick since Friday as well, so I'm barely recovered enough to feel as if I can actually go out like this. It makes me feel tired and more reluctant as well. I have a strong desire to just stay home, play video games, rest, and start writing back to my pen-pal Ayaka.
But, off I go, into the unknown. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself (and spiders).