Single again.
Remember how I was so happy when Fuzzy and I got together? Remember how I said it was so great and I never thought it was going to end. That all went to crap.
We broke up last Wednesday. We had been fighting a lot. He finally apologized, because he saw what he had done wrong and said he was going to change. He was going to be a different person and have a new outlook on life. I have never asked him myself to change. I never said, "You need to change, you're becoming a bad person." He's just always done that, thinking that was the only way to make things better. He's said he was going to change so many times. It's just so sad. He never did. So I told him that I didn't believe it. He wouldn't change. And I knew I was right. So I... ended it. It was just too hard to keep things going the way they were. We always made each other sad, he lived so far away, we barely ever got to see each other. The sadest thing is that I still love him. So much. So very much. But everything I know and all the people that I know say that it's for the best. That in the end, it'll be better for me. But it still hurts so much. I used to think that he was it. That I'd never have anyone else in my life because he was perfect. Everything was so perfect. It was like living in a dream. And I gave up so much for him!! My life is so different and so affected by him. And now he's not even in my life anymore for those things to not hurt. I know it's my fault because I'm the one who ended it. But that doesn't mean that I stopped loving him when it was over. It hurts like crazy. I just wish it would end soon. My heart's been thrown in a million different places, and it's not my ideal of fun. T__T
We broke up last Wednesday. We had been fighting a lot. He finally apologized, because he saw what he had done wrong and said he was going to change. He was going to be a different person and have a new outlook on life. I have never asked him myself to change. I never said, "You need to change, you're becoming a bad person." He's just always done that, thinking that was the only way to make things better. He's said he was going to change so many times. It's just so sad. He never did. So I told him that I didn't believe it. He wouldn't change. And I knew I was right. So I... ended it. It was just too hard to keep things going the way they were. We always made each other sad, he lived so far away, we barely ever got to see each other. The sadest thing is that I still love him. So much. So very much. But everything I know and all the people that I know say that it's for the best. That in the end, it'll be better for me. But it still hurts so much. I used to think that he was it. That I'd never have anyone else in my life because he was perfect. Everything was so perfect. It was like living in a dream. And I gave up so much for him!! My life is so different and so affected by him. And now he's not even in my life anymore for those things to not hurt. I know it's my fault because I'm the one who ended it. But that doesn't mean that I stopped loving him when it was over. It hurts like crazy. I just wish it would end soon. My heart's been thrown in a million different places, and it's not my ideal of fun. T__T