Drabbles..
ROFL, I'm bored. so I harassed Zim for a prompt. :U
=====
Pairing: Itachi x Kisame
Prompt: Pudding
Rating: PG, fluff
Dedicated to: Zimmay
Eat.
Kisame stared blankly at the small cup that had been placed before him on the table.
"Eat."
He looked up at his partner's crimson eyes, boring mercilessly into his own as he rubbed his chin.
"What's this...?" The blue-skinned man inquired, his words abnormally inarticulate; he was nursing a swollen jaw.
"Pudding. Eat." Itachi stared back without a flinch, settling down in the seat across from him.
"It kind of hurts-"
"Then you should not have gotten into a "swallowing contest" with Zetsu. You would not have dislocated your jaw otherwise. Eat your pudding." There was no arguing with the Uchiha.
Grumbling softly, Kisame shot Itachi a shamed glance, wrapping his fingers around the small plastic container. He plucked the tiny spoon off the side of the pudding package, large digits dwarfing the plastic joke of a utensil.
Itachi ducked his head down and smiled to himself as his partner began to eat gingerly in delicate slurps. It was kind of nice when people listened to you, after all.
After a moment, the soft sounds of Kisame inhaling the treat halted and he looked up; only to stare dumbly at the plastic spoon being offered to him, its scoop overflowing with pudding, bits of it dripping off to splat on the table.
"It's only nice if one shares, right Itachi-san? Aaah."
=====
Pairing: Hidan x Kakuzu
Prompt: "Shopping for assless chaps" (I don't even know where to begin..)
Rating: PG-13, cursing
Dedicated to: Pkgaming
"Well, put 'em on."
"Oh, come on you boring shit, let's just have some fun!"
"Shut up, dumbass."
"No way, like, seriously, let's have some fun; that dumb fuck of a Leader said we could have the day off!" Violet eyes met green a moment before the owner of said voice went flying into a wooden wall; a detached hand wrapped firmly around his neck.
"No, your idea of fun is a waste of mone-"
"WHAT THE FUCK, YOU ASS-HOLE, GET YOUR DISGUSTING HEATHEN HANDS OFF ME-"
"Shut UP-"
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP, JASHIN DAMN YOUR SOU-"
"SHUT UP." The words were accentuated with a rather enthusiastic bashing of Hidan's skull into the structure he was pressed against.
The priest broke off into a long, loud string of curses, and Kakuzu rolled his eyes, reeling his partner back in and setting the man beside him. However, his hand never left Hidan's throat.
"Whatthefuckdoyouthinkyou'redoingyougoatfuckingheattthhhfuuhhh-" The older Akatsuki smiled when Hidan's voice shriveled down into a hiss as his fingers pressed tightly around the younger man's trachea. The pulsating flesh squishing beneath his digits making him more pleased than.. dare he say it? A wad of cash? Oh yes, indeed, the priest's momentary suffering brought him much elation.
"Are you done?" Kakuzu droned, his voice rich with amusement. Hidan rose his arms, giving a double fingered salute in response.
Taking that as the best he'd get out of his partner, the masked man released Hidan, the latter gasping before hissing an acerbic, "You. Mother. Fucker."
Your mom was-. Kakuzu shook his head and bit back the childish retort that reared its ugly head, choosing to clear his throat and inquire. However, he was now in a much more "generous" mood- there was nothing like strangling the Jashinist priest that could be so gratifying.
"Well, I'm in a good mood, what did you want to do?"
Hidan, caught off guard by the candid question, blinked at his partner as if Kakuzu had grown a second head and started tap-dancing in the middle of the square.
"Don't just stand there catching flies, you said you wanted to do something..?"
"Well. I.. I don't fucking know- let's go... look around in that store over there!" The silver-haired man pointed off to a store that showcased some leather goods in the display window and began striding towards it.
"Just remember, we're not buying anything.." Kakuzu sighed and chided, following the other at a resigned pace. He wasn't even paying attention to what exactly the store was selling until a familiar and obnoxious voice called to him.
"Hey, shit-head, check it out! Assless chaps!"
Snapped from a momentary reverie when he'd just about pulled out his personal bingo-book to find another target, Kakuzu's eyes met with Hidan's pleased expression. His gaze slid from the priest to what was in his hands and he stared blankly at it.
"Kakuzu?"
The older Akatsuki member had no words for what was going through his head - one moment it was whether that one missing-nin from Stone village was still worth 45 million ryo; and the next it was uncomfortably void of all thought at the scant article of "clothing" that was dangled in his face.
"What... is this?"
"Assless chaps! Awesome huh? Like, you could totally take a fuckin' shit without ever taking off your pants with this shit-"
"No- why are we in a Bondage & Fetish store?!"
"I dunno, you dumb fuck, shopping for assless chaps?"
"......"
"Wow, you're speechless with desire for these, huh. Well, put 'em on."
Nothing, absolutely nothing could make the seething Akatsuki go back to apologize to the store owner for breaking their front display window with a body catapulted out at a terrifying velocity.
=====
Pairing: Itachi x Kisame
Prompt: Pudding
Rating: PG, fluff
Dedicated to: Zimmay
Eat.
Kisame stared blankly at the small cup that had been placed before him on the table.
"Eat."
He looked up at his partner's crimson eyes, boring mercilessly into his own as he rubbed his chin.
"What's this...?" The blue-skinned man inquired, his words abnormally inarticulate; he was nursing a swollen jaw.
"Pudding. Eat." Itachi stared back without a flinch, settling down in the seat across from him.
"It kind of hurts-"
"Then you should not have gotten into a "swallowing contest" with Zetsu. You would not have dislocated your jaw otherwise. Eat your pudding." There was no arguing with the Uchiha.
Grumbling softly, Kisame shot Itachi a shamed glance, wrapping his fingers around the small plastic container. He plucked the tiny spoon off the side of the pudding package, large digits dwarfing the plastic joke of a utensil.
Itachi ducked his head down and smiled to himself as his partner began to eat gingerly in delicate slurps. It was kind of nice when people listened to you, after all.
After a moment, the soft sounds of Kisame inhaling the treat halted and he looked up; only to stare dumbly at the plastic spoon being offered to him, its scoop overflowing with pudding, bits of it dripping off to splat on the table.
"It's only nice if one shares, right Itachi-san? Aaah."
=====
Pairing: Hidan x Kakuzu
Prompt: "Shopping for assless chaps" (I don't even know where to begin..)
Rating: PG-13, cursing
Dedicated to: Pkgaming
"Well, put 'em on."
"Oh, come on you boring shit, let's just have some fun!"
"Shut up, dumbass."
"No way, like, seriously, let's have some fun; that dumb fuck of a Leader said we could have the day off!" Violet eyes met green a moment before the owner of said voice went flying into a wooden wall; a detached hand wrapped firmly around his neck.
"No, your idea of fun is a waste of mone-"
"WHAT THE FUCK, YOU ASS-HOLE, GET YOUR DISGUSTING HEATHEN HANDS OFF ME-"
"Shut UP-"
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP, JASHIN DAMN YOUR SOU-"
"SHUT UP." The words were accentuated with a rather enthusiastic bashing of Hidan's skull into the structure he was pressed against.
The priest broke off into a long, loud string of curses, and Kakuzu rolled his eyes, reeling his partner back in and setting the man beside him. However, his hand never left Hidan's throat.
"Whatthefuckdoyouthinkyou'redoingyougoatfuckingheattthhhfuuhhh-" The older Akatsuki smiled when Hidan's voice shriveled down into a hiss as his fingers pressed tightly around the younger man's trachea. The pulsating flesh squishing beneath his digits making him more pleased than.. dare he say it? A wad of cash? Oh yes, indeed, the priest's momentary suffering brought him much elation.
"Are you done?" Kakuzu droned, his voice rich with amusement. Hidan rose his arms, giving a double fingered salute in response.
Taking that as the best he'd get out of his partner, the masked man released Hidan, the latter gasping before hissing an acerbic, "You. Mother. Fucker."
Your mom was-. Kakuzu shook his head and bit back the childish retort that reared its ugly head, choosing to clear his throat and inquire. However, he was now in a much more "generous" mood- there was nothing like strangling the Jashinist priest that could be so gratifying.
"Well, I'm in a good mood, what did you want to do?"
Hidan, caught off guard by the candid question, blinked at his partner as if Kakuzu had grown a second head and started tap-dancing in the middle of the square.
"Don't just stand there catching flies, you said you wanted to do something..?"
"Well. I.. I don't fucking know- let's go... look around in that store over there!" The silver-haired man pointed off to a store that showcased some leather goods in the display window and began striding towards it.
"Just remember, we're not buying anything.." Kakuzu sighed and chided, following the other at a resigned pace. He wasn't even paying attention to what exactly the store was selling until a familiar and obnoxious voice called to him.
"Hey, shit-head, check it out! Assless chaps!"
Snapped from a momentary reverie when he'd just about pulled out his personal bingo-book to find another target, Kakuzu's eyes met with Hidan's pleased expression. His gaze slid from the priest to what was in his hands and he stared blankly at it.
"Kakuzu?"
The older Akatsuki member had no words for what was going through his head - one moment it was whether that one missing-nin from Stone village was still worth 45 million ryo; and the next it was uncomfortably void of all thought at the scant article of "clothing" that was dangled in his face.
"What... is this?"
"Assless chaps! Awesome huh? Like, you could totally take a fuckin' shit without ever taking off your pants with this shit-"
"No- why are we in a Bondage & Fetish store?!"
"I dunno, you dumb fuck, shopping for assless chaps?"
"......"
"Wow, you're speechless with desire for these, huh. Well, put 'em on."
Nothing, absolutely nothing could make the seething Akatsuki go back to apologize to the store owner for breaking their front display window with a body catapulted out at a terrifying velocity.