(no subject)
I realize it has been a loooong time since I made a real update. I've had a lot of stuff going on, not really things that I publicly show. More contemplations about myself, my life, the people in my life. I have some opportunities that I am superstitious to mention but hopefully...*crosses fingers*. The new year came and went, fun was had (thanks Amy :o)) but it opened a lot of things that I hadn't really dealt with. I kind of had to look at the past year in retrospective, and while I really didn't have any sudden moments of enlightenment, I definitely had to ask some questions of myself. I know that I am going down a more positive path than I was, there is actual light at the end now. But sometimes I wonder, was the cost to get here worth it? This past year was one of the hardest in a long time, there were really high ups, and lows so bad they had no end, friends showed me both sides of themselves, some in how badly they hurt me and others awed me in their compassion. I look back an realise that I grew up in way I'm not sure I'm ready for. I feel that I'm on the other side of a precipice that I had no idea I was crossing. I'm not sure if I'm any wiser, but I think I know myself a little better. So that's where I stand at the begining of this year. I've been trying to make resolutions, I know they're late, but it is still January. And I realized that I don't want to make any...I want to see where my life takes me with out me trying to fit it into a direction I feel I should take. There will be too many choices I will make that I will have a chance to screw up or succeed at, I really don't feel the need to add to the load. But I did make some realizations. Just simple things I learned that I know I will carry with me.
My list:
~ that being the highlight of a little kids day will be a highlight of yours
~ that standing up for yourself and being a bitch aren't the same thing. Just because someone doesn't agree with what you are saying, doesn't make you mean.
~ that some friends have stood the test of time because they are meant to. These are the people that you aren't sure where your soul ends and theirs begins, these are the friends who will fight for you, love you, treasure you. Always treasure them.
~ you have to forgive yourself
~ that life doesn't have to be a certain way before you move forward. The restraints that personally hold you back, usually aren't really necessary any way.
~ that true friends are not always in the packages you expect, never judge a persons value in your life until you see how much they want to give, and how much you want to give.
~ and lastly...that the sound of laughter never really fades, and sharing it is the best way to make your heart heal and learn
What are your realizations?
My list:
~ that being the highlight of a little kids day will be a highlight of yours
~ that standing up for yourself and being a bitch aren't the same thing. Just because someone doesn't agree with what you are saying, doesn't make you mean.
~ that some friends have stood the test of time because they are meant to. These are the people that you aren't sure where your soul ends and theirs begins, these are the friends who will fight for you, love you, treasure you. Always treasure them.
~ you have to forgive yourself
~ that life doesn't have to be a certain way before you move forward. The restraints that personally hold you back, usually aren't really necessary any way.
~ that true friends are not always in the packages you expect, never judge a persons value in your life until you see how much they want to give, and how much you want to give.
~ and lastly...that the sound of laughter never really fades, and sharing it is the best way to make your heart heal and learn
What are your realizations?