I'm about ready to ...
I am going to BURST.
Looking back over the last few days and the last few weeks, I can see a few stressers that are seemingly somewhat mild, so when I feel as if I'm about ready to have a full on breakdown, I feel bad about it.
However, I feel as if any moment I am going to fall over and start bawling for one reason or another. "Oh, the stapler is four inches off from where it should be," "Oh, someone just shut a door a little louder than they should have," "Oh, someone is pouring water out their window," "Oh, someone threw an old taco and a bottle of water at someone else's door and left it there," "Oh, someone left pieces of raw meat laying on the carpet on one of the floors." "Oh ... ETC"
You know. Little things.
Little things that make you want to rip your hair out or set someone else on fire when you've already had pressure on top of pressure on top of pressure applied.
I have been getting severely angry at friends recently for doing normal stuff! And not just *simmer, simmer, rant and rave* angry, but *I'm so pissed off I could choke you into oblivion right now ... plus the simmering* angry.
It's RIDICULOUS. But every time I get angry and step back, I tell myself "You aren't really upset by this, it's something else bothering you and this just set it off." Unfortunately, I then get pissed off at myself for negating what I am feeling at the moment, for being right, and most of all for not being able to control that anger, and in turn want to go out and hit something else.
I'm so emotional right now. I have watched a few movies recently and bawled my eyes out when honestly, there should be minimal if any tearage. "Click" had my cheeks tearstained even though I KNEW what happened. It was RIDICULOUS.
Right now, I am so not emotionally stable. Which pisses me off, because usually I am. Right now though? Yeah. Not so much.
UGH. Someone just ... punch me so I can kick your ass in a good old fashioned fight, eh? *grin*
Looking back over the last few days and the last few weeks, I can see a few stressers that are seemingly somewhat mild, so when I feel as if I'm about ready to have a full on breakdown, I feel bad about it.
However, I feel as if any moment I am going to fall over and start bawling for one reason or another. "Oh, the stapler is four inches off from where it should be," "Oh, someone just shut a door a little louder than they should have," "Oh, someone is pouring water out their window," "Oh, someone threw an old taco and a bottle of water at someone else's door and left it there," "Oh, someone left pieces of raw meat laying on the carpet on one of the floors." "Oh ... ETC"
You know. Little things.
Little things that make you want to rip your hair out or set someone else on fire when you've already had pressure on top of pressure on top of pressure applied.
I have been getting severely angry at friends recently for doing normal stuff! And not just *simmer, simmer, rant and rave* angry, but *I'm so pissed off I could choke you into oblivion right now ... plus the simmering* angry.
It's RIDICULOUS. But every time I get angry and step back, I tell myself "You aren't really upset by this, it's something else bothering you and this just set it off." Unfortunately, I then get pissed off at myself for negating what I am feeling at the moment, for being right, and most of all for not being able to control that anger, and in turn want to go out and hit something else.
I'm so emotional right now. I have watched a few movies recently and bawled my eyes out when honestly, there should be minimal if any tearage. "Click" had my cheeks tearstained even though I KNEW what happened. It was RIDICULOUS.
Right now, I am so not emotionally stable. Which pisses me off, because usually I am. Right now though? Yeah. Not so much.
UGH. Someone just ... punch me so I can kick your ass in a good old fashioned fight, eh? *grin*