Throwing out words that would never be heard by those who ought to

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I’d laugh it wasn’t sad that you should be so scared of me you have to hide. I jest that fear’s what first holds so many back, not knowing the fearlessly friendly form this fierce frame contains; but later, it’s the friendliness that makes fresh fears, as it’s mistaken for something more than could be merited by such as you.  Such things come much

Comments

Re: more 'itch' than 'ouch'

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Oh, I'm completely all right: just pissed off that he should be so rude and silly, when his underlying nature is so much better than that. Sadly, I fear my attempts to confront his behaviour has just made him perceive me as something to be scared of. It's a Catch 22 as far as I'm concerned, and his problem; but irritating nonetheless: rather like a mosquito bite that wants to be scratched even though you know that will only make it itchier (and possibly even slightly septic). However, I'd decided that good communication is essential; so I'd rather have things die early than have such things sensitively danced around, waiting to jump up and bite when there's more at stake.

WE all rationally know it's not worth being devoured by such people

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Yes; it's the stop talking that's most irritating: so rude and cowardly. If one is to engage in 'adult' relationships, one owes it to those involved to behave kind and respectfully, unless they've done something that merits otherwise.

In terms of the 'why', I'm not sure I need an explanation. If there are doubts that early on which aren't hidden by initial passion, then they're likely seeds that will stay there ready to burst through the foundations at a later date. I'm trying to think of the 'whys' I might have had to give if pressed too hard beyond the 'we're not right: we're very different people'; however, if I've had those feelings, I've always made sure to give the person involved a little bit of my time to tell them and not just stood them up then, failed to pick up calls. It's the rudeness and disrespect that irritates, especially when it's actually not that hard. Manners!

The funny thing is, I think he read it all much bigger than it ever needed to be; but even if light weight fluff, I still want respect and reasonable

Gosh, all this talk almost makes it into something bigger than it was.

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Oh, I wasn't referring to me as light weight fluff (though, of course I can be): I was referring to that being an option for certain 'relationships'. If they're not going to work beyond what they are and there's pleasure in that and both parties can live within those limits, then 'light weight fluff' can be fine - and fun

I 'knew' they'd loose on penalties before the match started

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It's weird, the 'stalker' thing and the way that the internet gives a whole other dimension to it. Having been the subject of an old-fashioned 'stalker', in that someone I once saw carried on writing to me, my friends and family for almost ten years after we split up, with occasional reference to things he could only know by 'stalking' me, I'm quite careful about information. I realise that everything I say here is open to anyone and if that particular man were to find this journal and start throwing his views about, then this journal would close. Dead. Having said that, there have been rare occasions in the past that I've 'googled' his name: partly to ensure he's still roughly where I believe him to be (now safely far from me), and partly just out of bored curiosity. Had I known back then about IP logging I probably wouldn't have clicked certain links; but while I would NEVER want him back in my life, my curious nature is such that if I heard information about him, I wouldn't close my ears to it. Just because she's still curious

Re: The bottom line?

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Indeed: sometimes unnecessarily so.

God: I just reread some of what I wrote and it sounds all 'advice' and 'this is how you should play it', when that's not what I intended, and I don't even know the details to take that stance! If that's how it came across, please ignore. It was more a little rant in my own journal about what I consider acceptable behaviour, based upon my experiences. Whether it's something tiny (in my case) or something more major (as yours would appear to be) that flicks that switch that makes you need to contact someone, and what ever the rational justification for that need, it's still bloody irritating if it happens, especially when you can see the pointlessness of acting on it. It must be so much worse when real emotions are involved, not just disappointment and indignation.

Glad to make you smile

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Well if you will ask for the bottom line, don't be surprised if that's what you get!

Also, hope I've not overstuffed your inbox, as my responses initially appeared to go in the wrong place in this thread.

It stays well under wraps in public places!

[silver_notebook]

.."Kiss my arse" they'd probably form a queue...
I still believe it would depend what part of town I said that in as to what response I would get. Having been brought up in an era when not having a skinny arse was cause for derogatory comment - if you allowed it to be noticed - it was quite amusing when I moved to Notting Hill and all the local Afro-Caribbean men viewed it as some prized attribute that merited comment.

(Also, those bikini bottoms are rather fab and flattering, having more than adequate fabric for the task in hand)

Not too much information; but perhaps a ramblingg response?

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I can imagine this could mess one up: so much emotional tension with the illness and everything on top of what were obviously strong feelings. It sounds like, when things were good, she was a tonic to your life and loosing that must have been hard. It also sounds like she is much younger than you and still has lots of changes to go through and things to resolve, coming to terms with her life as a 'well' person and all the possibilities which that might hold for her