The Road Home Leads To You (3/?)
Title: THE ROAD HOME LEADS TO YOU (3/?)
Author: silver_lametta
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, background Sam/Gabriel, highlight for spoilers: Dean/Lisa, Dean/OCs, Castiel/Balthazar, Castiel/OCs
Spoilers: None, it’s AU
Warnings: none
Word count: WIP. This chapter ~3.2k
Summary: Pop band AU. “They were drawn together by the passion for music and by the time they became a household name, Castiel realized he was in love with his very heterosexual best friend.”
Author’s notes: A huge thank you to my wonderful alpha, beta, and partner in crime vulgar_snail for holding my hand and fighting my comma addiction.
Part 1 Part 2
***
They were late to rehearsal thanks to Chuck who'd spent half an hour flirting with Becky after the interview. The rest of the band were waiting impatiently when they arrived.
Although ‘The Leads’ only had two official members - Castiel and Dean -- they collaborated with other musicians in their concerts, wanting to make a better show for the fans.
At first the musicians changed from concert to concert, but Alastair settled on a group who travelled with ‘The Leads’ regularly.
The drummer Ash had ‘Dr. Badass’ tattooed across his shoulder. Castiel didn’t know much about him only that he’d once attended MIT and got kicked out ‘for fighting’.
Andy Gallaher was the guitarist. Before coming to play with ‘The Leads’ he lived in a blue van with a barbarian queen painted on the side. He carried an old bong everywhere, claiming it was his ‘lucky charm’.
Then there was the opera singer Balthazar - a British man who wore v-necks, most likely thinking they suited him although they didn’t. Balthazar was smart, funny, and all in all a good guy and Castiel liked him.
The three men had already settled on the stage, warming up.
“Hey guys,” Ash called from behind his drum set, a wolfish grin spreading on his face. “Me and Andy are wondering here just how awesome your night was. That chick looked damn hot.”
Castiel tried not to roll his eyes at that. Everyone had some sort of odd obsession about Dean’s sexual adventures.
“I appreciate your concern over my sex life Dr. Badass, but I’m not giving you any details.”
Dean had an endless amount of sex escapades - everybody in their inner circle knew that - but he never discussed them and never let himself talk about any woman with anything resembling disrespect. That was one of the many things Castiel appreciated about him.
Ash sighed. “A shame. She reminded me of that girl I dated back at MIT. She did this trick with ping-pong balls-”
“-Oh, for God’s sake! Shut up,” Balthazar interrupted him. “No one here wants to know that.”
Balthazar was gay and didn’t hide it, but Castiel knew that wasn’t the reason he didn’t let Ash talk about his sexual adventures. His stories were crude and misogynous. The only other person who liked them was Andy. Fortunately, they had little time for the rehearsal so Ash didn’t insist on sharing the details.
Rehearsing that day was pure pleasure - the sound in the club was excellent and there were no problems with the equipment. The other day they’d spent two hours tuning the instruments.
They started with Castiel’s favorite song. He loved it not only because it was the first song they ever wrote, but also because this was his chance to play the guitar. In all other songs he was sanctioned to the keyboard and let Andy play the guitar.
After the first chorus Castiel stood up from his spot behind the synthesizer and took his guitar. It was his favorite moment - the crowd always started to scream in delight when he did it, already knowing what would follow.
While Dean sang the hardest part of the song, his voice reaching high octaves, Castiel walked across the stage to the edge. In a few hours thousands of people would be standing there, reaching out for him and screaming even louder as he bends over the crowd his face stone-cold, expressionless while the sounds coming from his guitar rip the air into pieces.
Dean stood mere feet away - singing with the imaginary crowd, throwing the microphone prop, his emotions raw and open. Even on stage the two of them were complete opposites, but somehow it seemed to work.
Castiel walked to the drum set in the back of the stage and stopped there for a few seconds before walking past Balthazar and returning to the front to stand next to Dean. The song headed towards its climax and Castiel’s heart was beating so hard he thought it might jump out of his throat. Dean finished the last chorus and fell to his knees, eyes closed, beads of sweat rolling down his temples. Castiel knew it wasn’t an act - Dean’s emotions were real and he didn’t hide them while on stage. There was no point hiding from music.
When the song’s climax passed and the music started fading Dean stood up again, singing the last words. Usually he bowed his head at this part and Castiel did the same, forcing the last cords from his guitar, but this time it was different.
Dean turned and closed the small distance between them, pressing his forehead to Castiel’s temple with the last words dying on his lips. Castiel was so surprised he barely managed to finish playing, fingers numb and irresponsive. Dean’s warm breath tickled his damp skin, soft lips close to his cheek. The gesture was simple and intimate, but before Castiel could think that it’s the closest they had ever been to each other the song ended and Dean moved away.
Castiel’s face burned hot and he pretended to struggle with a tangled wire for a few seconds to gain composure before looking up.
Ash was the one to break the silence. “Dude, that was awesome!”
“Yeah,” Dean murmured into a towel, wiping the sweat off his face. “Great sound. What do you think Cas?”
Castiel had to look up knowing his face was still flushed. “It was good, yes.” His voice was steady for which he was thankful. He wasn’t going to ask Dean what it was all about. Maybe Dean got so immersed in the music that it became too much and he leaned on Castiel on a whim. He ignored the pleasant flutter in his stomach.
“By the way, did you like the forehead thing?” Dean asked, grinning. “I thought fans would love that. It’s like the emotions are too much and we reach out to each other for support. They’ll think it’s cute, right?”
Castiel felt like a bucket of ice had just been dumped on him. He summoned all his self-restraint to hide the disappointment from his face.
“Yes, Dean. I think they’ll like it.”
It turned out Castiel was wrong. The fans didn’t like it. They loved it. They screamed in pure ecstasy when during the concert Dean pressed their heads together, singing right into Castiel’s ear -- only for him as if they were the only two people in the world and thousands of people weren’t looking at them, catching their every movement and every breath. The crowd kept roaring long after they parted and the song ended.
Alastair was pleased. He burst into their dressing room after the concert, announcing that it was a huge success, the Internet buzzing about it. The Leads trended on Twitter -- Castiel didn’t know what that meant, but judging by Dean’s grin it was something good.
“Your little trick worked boys.” Alastair smiled, displaying two rows of sharp teeth. “Women love touchy-feely men. Good work.”
That night they had an afterparty in a suite booked for that purpose. When Castiel arrived it was already full of people. Some of the faces were familiar - the crew, with their boyfriends and girlfriends, that travelled with The Leads and a couple dozen of good-looking men and women. Castiel wasn’t sure where Chuck had found them, but there had always been new faces at every party.
Ash and Andy were surrounded by a group of gorgeous women. Balthazar had cornered a dark haired boy that Castiel hoped was of age.
Dean’s face appeared in the crowd, smiling at him. “Hey Cas.” A tall brunette with a familiar face clung to his elbow.
“Glad you didn’t decide to ditch us this time. I want you to meet someone.” Dean nodded to the girl. “Do you remember Lisa?”
At the mention of the name Castiel remembered the girl from one of the previous afterparties who left with Dean to his suite. This was new - he had never seen Dean twice with the same woman before.
He smiled and took Lisa’s hand. “Of course I do.”
Dean turned to another woman that Castiel hadn’t noticed at first. She was a skinny redhead with porcelain skin and big blue eyes. She wasn’t as confident as other women there and when Castiel shook her hand her cheeks turned pink.
“Cas, this is Anna. Lisa’s friend. Big fan of yours.” Dean winked at him.
Castiel did his best not to let out a bitter laugh.
He had never talked about his sexuality to anyone besides Gabriel. And even with him Castiel had no choice - his brother figured it all out by himself. Even his parents didn’t know he was gay.
It wasn’t because he was ashamed. The first time he admitted to himself that he was gay was the day he decided to come out to his family. He never intended to hide who he was, but before he could broach the subject he met Dean and his life took off in a very different direction.
They were drawn together by the passion for music and by the time they became a household name, Castiel realized he was in love with his very heterosexual best friend. He couldn’t have come out then. He couldn’t risk ruining their friendship, their developing careers for a feeling he knew Dean couldn’t reciprocate. As time passed Castiel became convinced he made the right choice.
He knew if he stopped hiding he was gay Dean would put two and two together. All those nights spent writing music, sleeping in the same room, sharing meals and long talks in the dark when inspiration didn’t come - Dean would see all that in different light. They wouldn’t be friends after that. Dean would be disgusted. The Leads would without a doubt disband because of his secret.
Castiel didn’t care about fame and the impossible amounts of money they’ve earned - he already had more than he could ever spend. Dean, however, dreamt of being famous and sharing their music with the world and Castiel couldn’t risk ruining it.
So there he was smiling with the girl Dean thought he might like and tried his best to be interested, feeling shame wash over him.
He knew that Dean and the rest of the band assumed he was some sort of a camel who could go without sexual intercourse for years. Castiel was neither a saint nor celibate, he just knew how to cover his tracks. Finding a one night stand had never been a problem - he was attractive and both men and women had pestered him long before he became rich and popular. The only difference was that now he had to be more careful. The last thing he wanted was to find his bare ass on the front page of a magazine and then have to explain it to the people he cared about. Luckily, his money could provide the confidentiality he needed.
A relationship, though, was out of question. With the near constant traveling it was impossible to have a stable relationship. Castiel didn’t regret the consequences of his career - the only person he wanted to be with wasn’t interested anyways.
They spent most of the party drinking and chatting - it was all they were capable of after two exhausting concerts in two days. Castiel was glad that for once Dean didn’t hit ten girls at a time, but spent the evening with him even though Lisa and Anna were there, too.
Anna was a great girl - beautiful and smart - and if Castiel didn’t bat for home team he would have fallen for her instantly. She had expressive blue eyes that stood out against pale skin. Her facial features were too sharp for a girl, but nonetheless exquisite. He suspected that Dean liked her, too, but he didn’t show it in front of Lisa. He wondered whether it meant that Dean and Lisa were dating - he’d never seen Dean do something like that for any other girl.
He studied Lisa who was sitting in Dean’s lap on the big couch all four of them occupied. He tried to figure out what distinguished her from all other girls Dean had been with. He could think of nothing. She looked like all the other women, model looks, but nothing distinguishing.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean interrupted his thoughts. “I don’t wanna upset you man, but Meg is here and I think she’s looking for you.”
Meg Masters was a rich socialite, living off her father’s money. She was famous for her scandalous behavior, never missing a party, and had slept with every man she knew except for Castiel. Which was why she had stalked him for months, never missing a chance for another try to get him into bed.
Castiel groaned in horror. “Did she see me?” He cursed under his breath.
Dean laughed at his reaction. “I think she did. Sorry.”
“Castiel,” Meg approached them, swaying her hips. “There you are, sugar.” She didn’t even seem to notice Anna sitting next to him.
Castiel nodded. “Good to see you Meg.” Dean snorted.
“Hey Dean.” She gave him a playful look. “New girl again? Guess some things never change, right baby?”
Lisa’s face darkened.
“Go to hell, Meg,” Dean’s voice was calm. No one took her words seriously - it was the way she was.
Meg grinned. “With pleasure. But I’m taking this little angel with me.” She turned back to Castiel. “My suite is right next to yours, baby. Just thought I’d let you know.”
Within months of stalking Castiel found out that stubborn politeness was the best weapon against her. “I appreciate the courtesy Meg, but I remain uninterested.”
“I’ll leave the door open anyways in case you change your mind.”
“Maybe in the next life,” Dean chimed in, tearing away from kissing Lisa who looked annoyed with Meg’s presence.
“Careful Dean,” Meg gave him an impish smile. “Otherwise I might have an accidental slip of the tongue. If you know what I mean.” She gave them one last wink and sauntered off into the crowd.
Lisa frowned, looking down at Dean. “What did she mean by that?”
He shrugged. “How should I know? She’s crazy.” Despite his words, Dean’s face turned red and he leaned in to kiss her again, cutting off the next question.
Castiel wondered why Dean would react like that to something Meg had said. Lisa didn’t look stupid or naïve. Even if she pretended to not know, she most likely suspected that he slept with her already.
They kept making out for a while, leaving Castiel and Anna in an uncomfortable silence, tension eased only by the loud music. Castiel couldn’t help but stare at them, despite feeling like acid was burning a hole through his chest.
Lisa straddled Dean’s lap, and from his spot Castiel could see that his eyes were dark, lips red and swollen, blood coloring his freckled cheeks. The view alone made Castiel’s heart race. As if feeling his stare, Dean opened his eyes and for a moment they met with Castiel’s.
The painful combination of longing and desperation twisted Castiel’s insides and he looked away.
Anna stared into nowhere, giving Dean and Lisa some privacy. Castel felt bad for her, but could do nothing about it. He excused himself, muttering something unintelligible, and headed for the bathroom.
He splashed cold water over his face, enjoying the way it cooled his flushed skin, trying not to think of Dean, not to imagine himself in Dean’s lap, kissing him…
He stopped and looked up to his reflection in the mirror, panting He was pathetic. He could afford anything, anyone, but the only thing he wanted was the only thing he could never get.
He shouldn’t have come to the party. He knew this would happen. He knew he’d see Dean with another woman, but he still came. The longing was unbearable.
The only thing he could do was to find someone to help him forget, at least for a while. He couldn’t do it here though.
Decision made, he left the bathroom. Dean and Lisa were nowhere to be seen. Anna had left as well and Castiel felt a sliver of guilt for leaving her alone.
He moved through the crowd, trying to leave the suite unnoticed. Andy had fished out his bong, showing it to those who hadn’t seen it yet. Meg was making out with a guy Castiel had never seen. Ash had passed out on a couch.
At the door he heard a familiar voice call him.
“There you are, Cassie!” Balthazar took him by the elbow. “If you’re looking for your boyfriend I saw him leave with the brunette girl. I believe they went up to his suite.”
Sometimes Castiel wondered whether Balthazar joked or if he knew what Castiel was. His tone was always playful, but the subtle implications hit close to home too often.
“I wasn’t looking for Dean.”
Balthazar smiled. “Good. Then maybe you’d like to join us and have a beer or two?”
‘Us’ included Balthazar and his little harem that now consisted of four young boys. The last thing Castiel wanted was to get drunk in that company, get himself compromised, and make things even worse than they already were.
“Thanks, but I’ve already had enough alcohol.” With effort he managed to escape from Balthazar’s tight grip. “I think I’ll go get some sleep.”
“If you say so. We’ll be here if you change your mind.” He gave Castiel another smile and returned to his harem.
Castiel didn’t go up to his suite though, eager to leave the hotel as soon as possible. Finding a local strip club didn’t take much time - he saw one on the way from the concert and had made a note of it’s location.
Hiring a hooker was of course much easier, but the last thing Castiel wanted now was to have sex with someone who only wanted his money. Besides hookers were often greedy and if they recognized him they could start demanding more or even blackmail him.
All he needed was a stripper who didn’t mind blowing some steam off after their shift. Castiel didn’t even have to pay - one look and they willingly followed him to the restroom.
He chose the stripper the second he saw him - blond hair a little longer than he would prefer, tall, eyes framed with long eyelashes. At a closer look they turned out to be green, which made his decision final.
Castiel caught him on his way from the dressing room, offering to buy him a drink. He wasn’t afraid to be recognized in the dimmed light of the club, but was relieved when he saw no recognition in the man’s eyes.
One hour and five drinks later they stumbled into the restroom, fumbling with their clothes, and the long awaited bliss clouded Castiel’s mind. The rest was a blur - cold tile, ragged breaths, warm hands everywhere at once, somebody’s voice moaning Dean’s name when he came.
Only later did Castiel realize he had called out to Dean.
TBC...
Author: silver_lametta
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, background Sam/Gabriel, highlight for spoilers: Dean/Lisa, Dean/OCs, Castiel/Balthazar, Castiel/OCs
Spoilers: None, it’s AU
Warnings: none
Word count: WIP. This chapter ~3.2k
Summary: Pop band AU. “They were drawn together by the passion for music and by the time they became a household name, Castiel realized he was in love with his very heterosexual best friend.”
Author’s notes: A huge thank you to my wonderful alpha, beta, and partner in crime vulgar_snail for holding my hand and fighting my comma addiction.
Part 1 Part 2
***
They were late to rehearsal thanks to Chuck who'd spent half an hour flirting with Becky after the interview. The rest of the band were waiting impatiently when they arrived.
Although ‘The Leads’ only had two official members - Castiel and Dean -- they collaborated with other musicians in their concerts, wanting to make a better show for the fans.
At first the musicians changed from concert to concert, but Alastair settled on a group who travelled with ‘The Leads’ regularly.
The drummer Ash had ‘Dr. Badass’ tattooed across his shoulder. Castiel didn’t know much about him only that he’d once attended MIT and got kicked out ‘for fighting’.
Andy Gallaher was the guitarist. Before coming to play with ‘The Leads’ he lived in a blue van with a barbarian queen painted on the side. He carried an old bong everywhere, claiming it was his ‘lucky charm’.
Then there was the opera singer Balthazar - a British man who wore v-necks, most likely thinking they suited him although they didn’t. Balthazar was smart, funny, and all in all a good guy and Castiel liked him.
The three men had already settled on the stage, warming up.
“Hey guys,” Ash called from behind his drum set, a wolfish grin spreading on his face. “Me and Andy are wondering here just how awesome your night was. That chick looked damn hot.”
Castiel tried not to roll his eyes at that. Everyone had some sort of odd obsession about Dean’s sexual adventures.
“I appreciate your concern over my sex life Dr. Badass, but I’m not giving you any details.”
Dean had an endless amount of sex escapades - everybody in their inner circle knew that - but he never discussed them and never let himself talk about any woman with anything resembling disrespect. That was one of the many things Castiel appreciated about him.
Ash sighed. “A shame. She reminded me of that girl I dated back at MIT. She did this trick with ping-pong balls-”
“-Oh, for God’s sake! Shut up,” Balthazar interrupted him. “No one here wants to know that.”
Balthazar was gay and didn’t hide it, but Castiel knew that wasn’t the reason he didn’t let Ash talk about his sexual adventures. His stories were crude and misogynous. The only other person who liked them was Andy. Fortunately, they had little time for the rehearsal so Ash didn’t insist on sharing the details.
Rehearsing that day was pure pleasure - the sound in the club was excellent and there were no problems with the equipment. The other day they’d spent two hours tuning the instruments.
They started with Castiel’s favorite song. He loved it not only because it was the first song they ever wrote, but also because this was his chance to play the guitar. In all other songs he was sanctioned to the keyboard and let Andy play the guitar.
After the first chorus Castiel stood up from his spot behind the synthesizer and took his guitar. It was his favorite moment - the crowd always started to scream in delight when he did it, already knowing what would follow.
While Dean sang the hardest part of the song, his voice reaching high octaves, Castiel walked across the stage to the edge. In a few hours thousands of people would be standing there, reaching out for him and screaming even louder as he bends over the crowd his face stone-cold, expressionless while the sounds coming from his guitar rip the air into pieces.
Dean stood mere feet away - singing with the imaginary crowd, throwing the microphone prop, his emotions raw and open. Even on stage the two of them were complete opposites, but somehow it seemed to work.
Castiel walked to the drum set in the back of the stage and stopped there for a few seconds before walking past Balthazar and returning to the front to stand next to Dean. The song headed towards its climax and Castiel’s heart was beating so hard he thought it might jump out of his throat. Dean finished the last chorus and fell to his knees, eyes closed, beads of sweat rolling down his temples. Castiel knew it wasn’t an act - Dean’s emotions were real and he didn’t hide them while on stage. There was no point hiding from music.
When the song’s climax passed and the music started fading Dean stood up again, singing the last words. Usually he bowed his head at this part and Castiel did the same, forcing the last cords from his guitar, but this time it was different.
Dean turned and closed the small distance between them, pressing his forehead to Castiel’s temple with the last words dying on his lips. Castiel was so surprised he barely managed to finish playing, fingers numb and irresponsive. Dean’s warm breath tickled his damp skin, soft lips close to his cheek. The gesture was simple and intimate, but before Castiel could think that it’s the closest they had ever been to each other the song ended and Dean moved away.
Castiel’s face burned hot and he pretended to struggle with a tangled wire for a few seconds to gain composure before looking up.
Ash was the one to break the silence. “Dude, that was awesome!”
“Yeah,” Dean murmured into a towel, wiping the sweat off his face. “Great sound. What do you think Cas?”
Castiel had to look up knowing his face was still flushed. “It was good, yes.” His voice was steady for which he was thankful. He wasn’t going to ask Dean what it was all about. Maybe Dean got so immersed in the music that it became too much and he leaned on Castiel on a whim. He ignored the pleasant flutter in his stomach.
“By the way, did you like the forehead thing?” Dean asked, grinning. “I thought fans would love that. It’s like the emotions are too much and we reach out to each other for support. They’ll think it’s cute, right?”
Castiel felt like a bucket of ice had just been dumped on him. He summoned all his self-restraint to hide the disappointment from his face.
“Yes, Dean. I think they’ll like it.”
It turned out Castiel was wrong. The fans didn’t like it. They loved it. They screamed in pure ecstasy when during the concert Dean pressed their heads together, singing right into Castiel’s ear -- only for him as if they were the only two people in the world and thousands of people weren’t looking at them, catching their every movement and every breath. The crowd kept roaring long after they parted and the song ended.
Alastair was pleased. He burst into their dressing room after the concert, announcing that it was a huge success, the Internet buzzing about it. The Leads trended on Twitter -- Castiel didn’t know what that meant, but judging by Dean’s grin it was something good.
“Your little trick worked boys.” Alastair smiled, displaying two rows of sharp teeth. “Women love touchy-feely men. Good work.”
That night they had an afterparty in a suite booked for that purpose. When Castiel arrived it was already full of people. Some of the faces were familiar - the crew, with their boyfriends and girlfriends, that travelled with The Leads and a couple dozen of good-looking men and women. Castiel wasn’t sure where Chuck had found them, but there had always been new faces at every party.
Ash and Andy were surrounded by a group of gorgeous women. Balthazar had cornered a dark haired boy that Castiel hoped was of age.
Dean’s face appeared in the crowd, smiling at him. “Hey Cas.” A tall brunette with a familiar face clung to his elbow.
“Glad you didn’t decide to ditch us this time. I want you to meet someone.” Dean nodded to the girl. “Do you remember Lisa?”
At the mention of the name Castiel remembered the girl from one of the previous afterparties who left with Dean to his suite. This was new - he had never seen Dean twice with the same woman before.
He smiled and took Lisa’s hand. “Of course I do.”
Dean turned to another woman that Castiel hadn’t noticed at first. She was a skinny redhead with porcelain skin and big blue eyes. She wasn’t as confident as other women there and when Castiel shook her hand her cheeks turned pink.
“Cas, this is Anna. Lisa’s friend. Big fan of yours.” Dean winked at him.
Castiel did his best not to let out a bitter laugh.
He had never talked about his sexuality to anyone besides Gabriel. And even with him Castiel had no choice - his brother figured it all out by himself. Even his parents didn’t know he was gay.
It wasn’t because he was ashamed. The first time he admitted to himself that he was gay was the day he decided to come out to his family. He never intended to hide who he was, but before he could broach the subject he met Dean and his life took off in a very different direction.
They were drawn together by the passion for music and by the time they became a household name, Castiel realized he was in love with his very heterosexual best friend. He couldn’t have come out then. He couldn’t risk ruining their friendship, their developing careers for a feeling he knew Dean couldn’t reciprocate. As time passed Castiel became convinced he made the right choice.
He knew if he stopped hiding he was gay Dean would put two and two together. All those nights spent writing music, sleeping in the same room, sharing meals and long talks in the dark when inspiration didn’t come - Dean would see all that in different light. They wouldn’t be friends after that. Dean would be disgusted. The Leads would without a doubt disband because of his secret.
Castiel didn’t care about fame and the impossible amounts of money they’ve earned - he already had more than he could ever spend. Dean, however, dreamt of being famous and sharing their music with the world and Castiel couldn’t risk ruining it.
So there he was smiling with the girl Dean thought he might like and tried his best to be interested, feeling shame wash over him.
He knew that Dean and the rest of the band assumed he was some sort of a camel who could go without sexual intercourse for years. Castiel was neither a saint nor celibate, he just knew how to cover his tracks. Finding a one night stand had never been a problem - he was attractive and both men and women had pestered him long before he became rich and popular. The only difference was that now he had to be more careful. The last thing he wanted was to find his bare ass on the front page of a magazine and then have to explain it to the people he cared about. Luckily, his money could provide the confidentiality he needed.
A relationship, though, was out of question. With the near constant traveling it was impossible to have a stable relationship. Castiel didn’t regret the consequences of his career - the only person he wanted to be with wasn’t interested anyways.
They spent most of the party drinking and chatting - it was all they were capable of after two exhausting concerts in two days. Castiel was glad that for once Dean didn’t hit ten girls at a time, but spent the evening with him even though Lisa and Anna were there, too.
Anna was a great girl - beautiful and smart - and if Castiel didn’t bat for home team he would have fallen for her instantly. She had expressive blue eyes that stood out against pale skin. Her facial features were too sharp for a girl, but nonetheless exquisite. He suspected that Dean liked her, too, but he didn’t show it in front of Lisa. He wondered whether it meant that Dean and Lisa were dating - he’d never seen Dean do something like that for any other girl.
He studied Lisa who was sitting in Dean’s lap on the big couch all four of them occupied. He tried to figure out what distinguished her from all other girls Dean had been with. He could think of nothing. She looked like all the other women, model looks, but nothing distinguishing.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean interrupted his thoughts. “I don’t wanna upset you man, but Meg is here and I think she’s looking for you.”
Meg Masters was a rich socialite, living off her father’s money. She was famous for her scandalous behavior, never missing a party, and had slept with every man she knew except for Castiel. Which was why she had stalked him for months, never missing a chance for another try to get him into bed.
Castiel groaned in horror. “Did she see me?” He cursed under his breath.
Dean laughed at his reaction. “I think she did. Sorry.”
“Castiel,” Meg approached them, swaying her hips. “There you are, sugar.” She didn’t even seem to notice Anna sitting next to him.
Castiel nodded. “Good to see you Meg.” Dean snorted.
“Hey Dean.” She gave him a playful look. “New girl again? Guess some things never change, right baby?”
Lisa’s face darkened.
“Go to hell, Meg,” Dean’s voice was calm. No one took her words seriously - it was the way she was.
Meg grinned. “With pleasure. But I’m taking this little angel with me.” She turned back to Castiel. “My suite is right next to yours, baby. Just thought I’d let you know.”
Within months of stalking Castiel found out that stubborn politeness was the best weapon against her. “I appreciate the courtesy Meg, but I remain uninterested.”
“I’ll leave the door open anyways in case you change your mind.”
“Maybe in the next life,” Dean chimed in, tearing away from kissing Lisa who looked annoyed with Meg’s presence.
“Careful Dean,” Meg gave him an impish smile. “Otherwise I might have an accidental slip of the tongue. If you know what I mean.” She gave them one last wink and sauntered off into the crowd.
Lisa frowned, looking down at Dean. “What did she mean by that?”
He shrugged. “How should I know? She’s crazy.” Despite his words, Dean’s face turned red and he leaned in to kiss her again, cutting off the next question.
Castiel wondered why Dean would react like that to something Meg had said. Lisa didn’t look stupid or naïve. Even if she pretended to not know, she most likely suspected that he slept with her already.
They kept making out for a while, leaving Castiel and Anna in an uncomfortable silence, tension eased only by the loud music. Castiel couldn’t help but stare at them, despite feeling like acid was burning a hole through his chest.
Lisa straddled Dean’s lap, and from his spot Castiel could see that his eyes were dark, lips red and swollen, blood coloring his freckled cheeks. The view alone made Castiel’s heart race. As if feeling his stare, Dean opened his eyes and for a moment they met with Castiel’s.
The painful combination of longing and desperation twisted Castiel’s insides and he looked away.
Anna stared into nowhere, giving Dean and Lisa some privacy. Castel felt bad for her, but could do nothing about it. He excused himself, muttering something unintelligible, and headed for the bathroom.
He splashed cold water over his face, enjoying the way it cooled his flushed skin, trying not to think of Dean, not to imagine himself in Dean’s lap, kissing him…
He stopped and looked up to his reflection in the mirror, panting He was pathetic. He could afford anything, anyone, but the only thing he wanted was the only thing he could never get.
He shouldn’t have come to the party. He knew this would happen. He knew he’d see Dean with another woman, but he still came. The longing was unbearable.
The only thing he could do was to find someone to help him forget, at least for a while. He couldn’t do it here though.
Decision made, he left the bathroom. Dean and Lisa were nowhere to be seen. Anna had left as well and Castiel felt a sliver of guilt for leaving her alone.
He moved through the crowd, trying to leave the suite unnoticed. Andy had fished out his bong, showing it to those who hadn’t seen it yet. Meg was making out with a guy Castiel had never seen. Ash had passed out on a couch.
At the door he heard a familiar voice call him.
“There you are, Cassie!” Balthazar took him by the elbow. “If you’re looking for your boyfriend I saw him leave with the brunette girl. I believe they went up to his suite.”
Sometimes Castiel wondered whether Balthazar joked or if he knew what Castiel was. His tone was always playful, but the subtle implications hit close to home too often.
“I wasn’t looking for Dean.”
Balthazar smiled. “Good. Then maybe you’d like to join us and have a beer or two?”
‘Us’ included Balthazar and his little harem that now consisted of four young boys. The last thing Castiel wanted was to get drunk in that company, get himself compromised, and make things even worse than they already were.
“Thanks, but I’ve already had enough alcohol.” With effort he managed to escape from Balthazar’s tight grip. “I think I’ll go get some sleep.”
“If you say so. We’ll be here if you change your mind.” He gave Castiel another smile and returned to his harem.
Castiel didn’t go up to his suite though, eager to leave the hotel as soon as possible. Finding a local strip club didn’t take much time - he saw one on the way from the concert and had made a note of it’s location.
Hiring a hooker was of course much easier, but the last thing Castiel wanted now was to have sex with someone who only wanted his money. Besides hookers were often greedy and if they recognized him they could start demanding more or even blackmail him.
All he needed was a stripper who didn’t mind blowing some steam off after their shift. Castiel didn’t even have to pay - one look and they willingly followed him to the restroom.
He chose the stripper the second he saw him - blond hair a little longer than he would prefer, tall, eyes framed with long eyelashes. At a closer look they turned out to be green, which made his decision final.
Castiel caught him on his way from the dressing room, offering to buy him a drink. He wasn’t afraid to be recognized in the dimmed light of the club, but was relieved when he saw no recognition in the man’s eyes.
One hour and five drinks later they stumbled into the restroom, fumbling with their clothes, and the long awaited bliss clouded Castiel’s mind. The rest was a blur - cold tile, ragged breaths, warm hands everywhere at once, somebody’s voice moaning Dean’s name when he came.
Only later did Castiel realize he had called out to Dean.
TBC...