Merthur fic part 4
“How’s your thesis coming?” Arthur asked, watching Merlin pick at his chips. Around them, the small chip shop had only a few customers sitting at the plastic tables, fluorescent lights casting a harsh glare above them. They sat by the window, the street lamp from outside lighting up the damp ground.
Merlin glanced up, a half smile on his face, although Arthur wasn’t sure it was due to the question or a lingering awkwardness from the way Arthur had kissed his cheek when they’d met.
He didn’t know what he’d been thinking. The action had just sort of happened without his permission.
“It’s coming,” he replied, tossing away the chip and reaching for his drink instead.
“When do you think you’ll be done?”
“Hopefully by December. It would be nice to be done with school.”
Under the table, Arthur felt Merlin’s foot brush against his, and he didn’t move his foot away.
Though it had been over a week since he’d seen or talked to Merlin, something lingered between them. Perhaps it was the fact that they hadn’t talked about the phone call in Scotland or that when he had seen Merlin, Arthur’s heart had stupidly skipped a beat. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he was glad to see Merlin again.
“What are you going to do once you finish?”
Merlin shrugged, stealing a chip from Arthur’s plate despite that his was still half-full. Arthur smiled to himself at the gesture but said nothing.
“Maybe I’ll get a real job. Can’t do kid’s parties forever.”
“But you like kids, don’t you?”
Merlin smiled. “Yeah, but pulling a lolly from thin air isn’t exactly impressive.”
“Can you do card tricks?”
Merlin laughed, shaking his head at Arthur. “Still not impressive. If I could make a tiger disappear, that would be impressive.”
“You’d have to move to Las Vegas for that.”
“I’m not one for hot weather,” Merlin said. His gaze flicked to the ring on Arthur’s finger, and Arthur had a sudden urge to hide it. “How’s the wedding planning?”
Arthur didn’t know why Merlin asked, why he even wanted to know.
“It’s…fine,” he said at length. “Gwen seems excited about her wedding.”
Merlin leaned back in his chair, pushing a hand through his short hair. “I’m sure it will be all white dresses and flowers from here until the actual day.”
“She doesn’t seem that girly.”
“Weddings do strange things to people,” Merlin pointed out.
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Arthur muttered, thinking of Uther’s desire to know every detail of the wedding planning.
Merlin picked up a chip but didn’t eat it. Arthur wished this strange awkwardness would go away, but he didn’t know what to say to make it.
“If I ever get married, I’m just going to go to a judge and do it that way. It’s too much stress planning a wedding. It’s just a piece of paper to sign.”
“Don’t get married,” Arthur said quickly, stopping himself from reaching for Merlin’s hand.
Merlin frowned. “Why not?”
“Just don’t,” Arthur repeated, reaching for his drink and trying to ignore the way his stomach twisted as Merlin watched him and said nothing in return.
*
Despite the merger being several months away, there was more and more work to do, and Arthur found himself on Thursday evening sitting in the empty office going over financial reports and projections for the next five years. He had sent Gwen home hours ago and his stomach rumbled from the lack of dinner.
His head had started to throb the longer he sat there, going through lists filled with numbers.
He really need a drink, he thought, but he couldn’t go get one until the work was done, and that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Instead, he tried to focus on the numbers, doing more calculations, double-checking each one and marking them down.
Outside, the sky had darkened already, leaving the lights of the city to shine in, a mixture of orange, yellow, and greens pressing against the windowpane.
Without thinking, Arthur pulled out his mobile, checking for messages, but there were none. He turned it over in his hand, debating doing anything.
Finally, he gave up trying to work for now. He could take a short break.
You know what’s an overrated book? Romeo and Juliet.
He didn’t know why he wrote it, really, except that he had to say something. Something had changed since that night, that phone call, and he wanted to get things back to how they had been.
Why? came Merlin’s text. Do you have it memorized?
Arthur wondered how Merlin always responded so quickly. He never seemed to hesitate for more than a few minutes at a time.
It’s unrealistic. They’re so young.
Arthur really should have been working since Uther expected the documents to be completed by Monday morning, and Arthur didn’t look forward to working through the weekend. Besides, he and Elena were meant to have tea with Morgana and Cenred on Sunday, another thing he wasn’t particularly looking forward to.
Love knows no age, came Merlin’s reply a minute later.
For a second, Arthur paused, fingers poised over the keyboard. He had to say something, if not to Merlin’s face at least to his mobile.
I just want to say, about the other night, I don’t want things to be weird.
He really didn’t know what else to say except the things he couldn’t say like, he wished they could do it again; he wished they didn’t have to be just mates anymore.
The minutes stretched as Merlin didn’t reply right away, nerves curling Arthur’s stomach as he waited impatiently. He couldn’t focus on work, the piles of papers before him that still needed to be combed through. Uther didn’t trust only one person to look it over, and Arthur always seemed to find himself doing the work.
Still, Merlin’s response didn’t come, so Arthur forced himself to look away from the mobile. A watched phone never rang, or did that only apply to pots?
Numbers blurred before his eyes and he couldn’t focus, not when his mobile finally buzzed, vibrating on the desk. He snatched it up far too eagerly, opening Merlin’s message.
As far as phone sex goes, you weren’t the worst I’ve ever had.
Arthur surprised himself by laughing at the message.
Glad to hear it, he sent back.
Merlin was such an understanding bloke, Arthur thought as he set the phone aside, the bundle of nerves gone from his stomach. He almost couldn’t believe it. If the shoe had been on the other foot, Arthur doubted he would have reacted the same.
Reaching for the stack of documents, Arthur looked up sharply at the knock on the door.
He frowned, opening his mouth to ask who it was, but the door creaked open without his permission, and he was surprised to see Uther standing there.
“Father,” he said, confused. “What are you doing here?”
“Still working on those numbers?” Uther asked instead of answering the question.
“Er, yes.” Arthur couldn’t figure out why Uther would be there that late, and he was even more surprised when Uther took the chair across from Arthur’s.
Uther leaned back, taking in Arthur’s office, the degree hanging on the wall, the tiny window overlooking the city.
“You know, Arthur, back when I started working at the company, my father took me under his wing and taught me everything he knew. I spent many a night working late in this very office. Things were different then. We didn’t have computers or mobile phones to do our work for us.”
Arthur didn’t completely understand what he was getting at nor why he was still there so late.
“I’ve often wondered if you were ready for this,” Uther went on thoughtfully. “But you taking so much responsibility in the merger, putting in effort to get to know Elena, committing to the wedding. Well, it really shows how much you’ve grown since the University boy who was red carded in football for breaking that young man’s ankle.”
“That was an accident,” Arthur reminded him.
“My point is that you’re growing into a fine young man, worthy of taking over the company when I retire. I’m rather proud.”
Arthur smiled at Uther, a glow filling him. He couldn’t remember a time his father had actually said something like that.
“Thank you,” he said finally, still a little taken aback.
His phone chose that moment to vibrate with a text, and Arthur glanced at the screen quickly, pulling it away before Uther could see Merlin’s name on the screen.
“Is that Elena?” Uther asked.
Hiding the phone under the table, the glow faded abruptly, and Arthur hesitated.
“Er, yes,” he lied, squeezing the mobile tightly.
“There’s no need for you to do all this tonight,” Uther said, gesturing at the documents. “You should go see your girl.”
Guilt gnawed at his stomach, but Arthur couldn’t argue as Uther rose from his seat and gestured him up.
“Enjoy your youth while you can, Arthur.”
Arthur nodded, taking out the phone as Uther turned his back to leave. He clicked on Merlin’s message.
I knew you would be.
The feeling of guilt only grew, and he grabbed his overcoat, flicking off the lights as he left.
*
He had to try harder, Arthur resolved. He had to try harder with Elena, and that was perhaps what made him take her hand as they stood in front of Morgana’s house and rang the bell.
Elena glanced at him as he did it, but she said nothing about it and Arthur hadn’t expected her to.
It wasn’t raining, though the sky was overcast as they waited for the door to be answered. The forecast had called for sun all week, but Arthur wasn’t sure that was right.
Finally, the door opened and Morgana greeted them, insisting on taking their coats.
“Go on to the sitting room,” she said, a bit too cheerful for Arthur’s liking. He hadn’t seen her like this since long before her and Uther’s blow up.
Leading Elena by the hand, he guided her to the sitting room where tea and finger sandwiches were already set up on the coffee table.
Cenred sat sprawled in the chair near the mantle, legs spread wide and slumped halfway down. He looked wilder than Arthur remembered, his hair longer and a beard growing in on his face. It had, after all, been several months since he had actually been home when Arthur had come around.
“Arthur,” he greeted him, voice rough, and he didn’t rise to shake Arthur’s hand, instead gesturing at the sofa.
Arthur sat down alongside Elena, who was already admiring the deserts on the china.
“How’ve you been, Cenred?” Arthur asked politely, glancing back at the entranceway for Morgana, but she hadn’t returned from putting up the coats yet.
“Good, good,” Cenred replied vaguely. “Got a business deal going in France. Should be done by the end of the month.”
Arthur had never been completely clear on what business Cenred was in, but he nodded as though he did.
“Uncle Arthur!” Sophie Anne’s voice interrupted the awkward silence and she burst out of a hallway, excitement on her face. She hugged him tightly. “You haven’t been round lately.”
“I’ve been very busy,” he told her, and she glanced at Elena. Elena smiled at her fondly.
“With the wedding planning,” Sophie Anne said knowledgeably. “Mother says it’s going to be beautiful.”
Arthur looked up as Morgana returned.
“I’m sure it will be,” Morgana said. “Sophie Anne, you have practicing to do.”
“Yes, Mum,” she replied obediently, giving Arthur another hug. “Will you say goodbye before you leave?”
“Of course,” he assured her. Her smile widened and it reminded Arthur of Morgana at that age, still so full of hope for life. He hoped she would remain that way.
She ran off, and a few moments later, Arthur heard the muffled plunking of piano keys.
Morgana sat down and began pouring the tea for everyone.
“Elena, I wanted to ask about the bridesmaid dresses,” she said, and Elena scooted forward on the couch attentively. “Are you completely set on the purple?”
“It is a lovely colour,” Elena said, quailing slightly under Morgana’s smile that seemed more threatening than friendly, despite the way Morgana handed over the cup of tea and a small cake.
Arthur had little interest in dress colours. He hadn’t even picked out his tie. As they talked, his hand went immediately for his mobile, but it wasn’t in his pocket.
He must have left it in his coat, he thought regretfully, but then he stopped himself. He shouldn’t have been thinking of texting Merlin, not when he was sitting next to Elena and Morgana and Cenred were right there. Elena may have been clueless as to what he was doing, but Morgana certainly wouldn’t be. There was no need to arouse any suspicions.
He ran his hand against his leg when the mobile wasn’t there, taking a sip of the scalding tea.
“Purple can just be so garish,” Morgana was saying, and Cenred yawned.
“I think it’s pretty,” Elena replied, almost unsure.
“It’s only one day,” Arthur interrupted finally. “Surely it won’t be that bad. Elena likes it. That’s what matters.”
He may not have cared about dress colours, but he did care that Morgana didn’t walk all over anyone, whether or not he liked that person. Elena didn’t deserve her disdain, at the very least.
Elena looked grateful at his help while Morgana’s gaze transferred to him, cold for a second, but then she smiled easily.
“Of course, Arthur. I only asked out of interest.”
Though she handed him another cake, Arthur had a feeling her smile hid more than he knew.
*
“Wake up,” Arthur said, poking at Merlin’s leg that lay draped over his lap. From the other end of the sofa, Merlin glanced over at him, the television playing credits from the movie that had just ended.
“I’m awake,” he said easily, trying to push himself up, but he only managed to scoot up a few inches. He pushed at Arthur’s thigh with his toes, and Arthur tried not to think of how close Merlin was to sliding up his thigh to his crotch.
“What did you think?” Arthur asked, gesturing at the telly.
“I still say the books are better.” Merlin ran a hand through his ruffled hair, still looking half-asleep, though he had assured Arthur that he was awake the whole time. He looked adorably shaggable in Arthur’s opinion, and it took most of the restraint he had not to just crawl over Merlin, pin him to the sofa, and snog all the sense out of him.
“Books are always going to be better,” Arthur conceded. “But you have to admit that was a pretty decent adaptation.”
Merlin curled his lip, making a face that clearly said he hated that Arthur was right.
“Fine, it wasn’t terrible,” he admitted finally, laughing when Arthur shoved his legs off his lap finally. “Sorry, did I insult you?”
“Just the film,” Arthur said, getting up to stop the DVD and put it away.
Merlin only watched from the sofa, and Arthur thought he caught him checking out his ass as he turned around. Arching an eyebrow, he returned to the sofa and sat down, much closer to Merlin this time.
Beside him, Merlin sighed tiredly, setting his feet on the coffee table instead.
“Your flat is bigger than I remember,” he said, glancing around.
“You didn’t exactly get a tour the first time.”
Merlin smiled slightly, his hand running through his hair again, making it even messier. Arthur wondered if he did it on purpose, if he knew how sexy he was, how much it took for Arthur to stop thinking about getting him naked again.
He probably shouldn’t have even invited Merlin over, but the thought of not seeing Merlin made him feel worse than the thought of what this meant to him and to the wedding.
“You were a little busy,” Merlin replied, grin widening mischievously.
“Well, you were a little demanding.”
“I am not demanding,” Merlin protested.
“Okay, loud then.”
Merlin laughed. “Wouldn’t want your posh neighbours hearing your inappropriate relations with blokes, huh?”
“The walls are two feet thick,” Arthur pointed out. He hardly ever heard noise from the neighbours, but he also suspected they weren’t home frequently. In the three years he had lived in the flat, he hadn’t actually officially met the neighbours. Perhaps that was strange, but Arthur didn’t really mind.
“Mine are only an inch,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. “I wish they were a bit thicker.”
“Don’t want your neighbours to hear you?” Arthur asked cheekily, and he was rewarded with an elbow to the stomach.
“Yes, they’re constantly complaining about my string of lovers,” Merlin replied sarcastically. “As you know, I can be loud.”
Arthur laughed, but even as he did so, his mind wandered to Merlin’s previous lovers. Had he had very many? Why was he single now?
He couldn’t fathom why given Merlin’s intelligence, sense of humor, and the adorable way his eyes crinkled when he laughed.
As he gazed at Merlin for a minute, and Merlin said nothing, he felt a pang in his chest, something he hadn’t felt before. He wanted every night to be like this, with Merlin in his flat, arguing about movies, Merlin’s feet in his lap, Merlin rubbing him off after a long day of work.
He wanted to be able to lean over and capture his mouth for a soft kiss, something that didn’t have to lead to sex, but if it did, all for the better.
Arthur didn’t stop himself, then, when he moved forward, closing the gap between them. Merlin didn’t lean back either, out of his way, and their lips met for the first time in months.
The first kiss was soft, barely a press of lips against lips, but Arthur moved first, licking Merlin’s bottom lip and following the movement into his mouth.
Merlin let Arthur slip his tongue into his mouth, lips sliding together slowly, a soft, sensual kiss that made Arthur’s stomach flutter stupidly. Arthur raised a hand to Merlin’s jaw, caressing the skin with his fingertips as he kissed him again, pressing their mouths together harder.
Leaning forward, he felt the brush of Merlin’s nose, the stutter of breath he took when their lips parted for a second.
Arthur hadn’t kissed anyone like this in a long while, not even with Gwaine had it ever been like this, and certainly not with Elena, although he had barely kissed her on the cheek.
His weight pressed into Merlin as they leaned back on the sofa, lips never leaving the other, kisses slow and drawn-out. Arthur sucked on Merlin’s bottom lip, releasing it slowly and dipping his tongue back in his mouth as Merlin’s back pressed into the sofa. Arthur’s hand moved down to Merlin’s thigh, sliding up slowly.
“Wait,” Merlin said suddenly, breaking the kiss and reaching for Arthur’s hand. “Wait, Arthur, stop.”
“What?”
To his surprise, Merlin elbowed him up, wiping his mouth and scooting away from Arthur.
“We can’t do this.”
Arthur frowned. “Sorry?” He didn’t understand why Merlin was stopping something that was so good.
The light flush on Merlin’s cheeks slowly receded as he took a breath and met Arthur’s eyes.
“I think I may actually really like you, Arthur, but I can’t keep going back and forth. Are we friends? Are we in some sort of weird relationship? I don’t understand what’s going on.”
Arthur didn’t know what to say, the warmth that had filled him a second ago turning cold.
“Well, we’re mates,” he said finally, but Merlin tilted his head with a frown.
“It’s more than that,” Merlin said. “It’s sometimes mates, sometimes more. You’re about to be married. I can’t just sit around and wait until you make up your mind.”
For a second, Arthur said nothing. Was this an ultimatum?
“What are you saying?” he asked instead. “Are you saying you want me to just call off the wedding and ruin a whole company for you?”
Merlin sighed, looking frustrated. “When you put it that way…”
“I can’t do that.” Arthur rose from the couch, turning to stare at Merlin. How could he ask such a thing? “The company, and the wedding - I can’t.”
“I know,” Merlin said, rising as well and grabbing his jacket off the back of the sofa. “And that’s why I’m saying that I can’t do this either. I can’t be just your friend, and you can’t be anything else to me. So we might as well save ourselves any more trouble and just end whatever this is now.”
“What?” Arthur asked, somehow surprised all the same.
Merlin pulled on his jacket and headed for the front door. Arthur took a few steps towards him, intending to say something to stop him, but as much as it pained him to admit it, Merlin had a point.
Merlin turned at the door, a heartbreaking expression on his face. All Arthur wanted to do was grab him and cover his face with kisses until he stopped looking like that, but he couldn’t make his feet move, couldn’t make himself do anything except stare, his heart thudding loudly in his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Merlin said as he paused. “I wish things were different.”
He grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open, stepping into the hall and letting it shut behind him.
Arthur knew he should go after him, but there was nothing he could say to bring Merlin back. Nothing would change the situation, and instead of following him, Arthur leaned against the side of the couch and crossed his arms. There was nothing he could do, and he hated the pit in his gut as he sighed and remained in his flat.
*
“How is it that you’re getting wedding gifts already?” Gwen asked as she lugged an ornately-wrapped box into Arthur’s office and set it in the corner.
Arthur blinked, pulling his mind from where it had been replaying the conversation with Merlin over and over again. It had been almost a week, and he hadn’t heard from Merlin at all. It worried him, but he couldn’t call Merlin, not until he had some sort of solution or answer, but he’d been over all the possible avenues, and none of them were at all possible.
“I’m sure it’s just from some distant relative.” Arthur dismissed it, looking away from the shiny silver wrapping paper. He didn’t want to think about the wedding. It just made him feel slightly sick to his stomach even though it was still months off.
The merger, on the other hand, seemed to loom closer and closer with each passing day. Just earlier, Uther had come in and told him to fire Alice.
“But she’s been with the company for years,” he argued.
Uther turned over the facedown photograph of Arthur and Elena from the engagement shoot, setting it up on Arthur’s desk. Arthur kept it facedown most of the time so he didn’t have to look at his fake smile.
“Godwyn wants to bring in his tech support team, and we must modernize to keep up with demand. I’ve already arranged for her to come to your office tomorrow morning. You can do it then.”
Arthur felt his stomach lurch. Of all people to do the firing, why did it have to be him?
Uther seemed to sense his hesitation as he gave Arthur a stern look. “You’ve got to have convictions, Arthur, or else people will walk all over you.”
“Yes, Father,” Arthur agreed despite himself. Firing Alice would be like kicking a puppy. Though she was old, Arthur had grown up with her, almost as a grandmother figure.
“I expect it done tomorrow, and don’t forget to double-check those figures Leon will be sending over later.”
“Yes, of course,” Arthur said, holding in his exhale of breath until Uther left.
He was dreading the meeting with Alice, but he couldn’t seem to distract himself except with thoughts of Merlin which just made him feel worse, if anything.
Gwen came over and handed him a stack of papers.
“Reports from Leon.”
Rubbing his face, Arthur forced himself to focus. He couldn’t let everything fall apart because of one bloke. Merlin wasn’t even that special, he tried to tell himself. “Gwen,” he said as she turned to leave.
“Yes, sir?”
“Can I ask you something?”
She raised her eyebrows questioningly, and Arthur hesitated. She was Merlin’s best mate after all.
“If there was someone who fancied you but he was tied up in something he couldn’t get out of, would you wait for him or would you move on?”
Gwen thought for a moment. “I suppose it would depend how much I liked him.”
“What if you didn’t know if he could ever get out of his situation?”
Arthur watched her nervously, hoping she wouldn’t question why he was asking.
“Well, that would be a bit difficult, wouldn’t it,” she said after a moment. “I don’t know if anyone’s heart could take that.”
Arthur’s heart sunk as she said it, and he knew she was right as much as he hated it. He supposed there was nothing to do but accept his fate and try to make the most of it.
“Why do you ask?” Gwen asked, but Arthur shook his head.
“Just a friend’s situation,” he replied. “Thank you for the reports.”
Dismissed, Gwen gave him a strange look before she turned. Arthur squeezed the bridge of his nose before resolving himself to get back to work and leave thoughts of Merlin behind.
*
Arthur found himself wondering if it was possible to die from boredom as he sat on the bench next to Elena, watching a flock of ducks swarming the pond.
Elena picked apart a piece of bread, periodically tossing it to the birds, which then swarmed around them. Arthur eyed them distastefully but he said nothing to Elena. She had been mostly silent since they had met up at the coffee shop.
Stimulating conversations was not something Arthur could add to the positives when it came to Elena. Sitting back, he put his hands behind his head and tried to enjoy the relatively nice weather.
“Maybe when we’re married,” Elena said finally, tossing away the rest of the bread and watching the birds fight over it, “we could get a bird.”
The idea made Arthur cringe. Birds were loud and smelled awful.
“I don’t really want a bird in my flat.”
“It wouldn’t be in your flat,” Elena replied. “It’ll be in the new house.”
“House?” Arthur sat up slightly. Elena nodded.
“My father showed me a house outside of town. It’s quite nice, though the upkeep may be a bit much. I’m not really one for cleaning.”
Where had Arthur been that he had missed the bit about buying a house? He had known all along that they would be expected to live together after the wedding, but he hadn’t expected to leave his flat. He quite liked his flat. It was in a great location - just a few blocks from the Chinese takeaway restaurant and an easy commute to the office, and he’d made it his own.
Living with Elena. He had put off the thought given that it wasn’t exactly the most pleasant idea. It conjured up images of silent dinners over a long, empty table, sleeping in a bed together for the rest of his life, strange projects that Elena would do to keep herself busy, purple washrooms.
The thought terrified him, he realized as he sat there, ducks quacking and pecking around their feet. The idea of marriage terrified him, especially to someone he barely knew. Although he had known Elena for months now, he still felt as if he had no idea who she was, what she liked, or what she thought.
She was a little bit of an airhead, dull, and all her topics of conversation went in one ear and out the other. How could he even consider spending the rest of his life with her?
Something in his chest contracted, squeezing his heart the more he thought of it.
“Arthur?” she asked when he didn’t reply for a long moment. “Are you alright?”
Merlin’s flat wasn’t too far away, Arthur thought abruptly. If he took the underground, he could be there in five minutes. What would he say, though? That he didn’t want to go through with the wedding? That the idea of getting married made him feel sick? He couldn’t even say it to Elena, and she was watching him worriedly now.
Standing abruptly, he startled Elena.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“What?” Elena asked, standing as well. “Where are you going?”
Arthur didn’t have an answer except that he needed to get out of there before he did something stupid like have a panic attack. He’d never had one before, but thinking of the wedding and Merlin and everything else felt like life was spinning out of control.
“I just, I have a meeting I forgot about,” he lied, leaning in and pressing an automatic kiss to her cheek before hurrying away. He just needed to get away and figure things out. That was all.
*
Arthur spent the entire weekend attempting to convince himself that he could go through with this wedding. It wouldn’t be that bad. After they were married, he probably wouldn’t have to speak to Elena that much, although he knew Uther and Godwyn probably expected grandchildren.
Sex with Elena wasn’t something he could stomach thinking of, and it was that, perhaps, that was the last straw.
He called Merlin on Sunday night but it just went to voicemail. He hung up abruptly instead of leaving a message. What could he say to Merlin? He couldn’t ask his advice about this. Merlin probably wanted nothing to do with him.
He couldn’t marry Elena.
He just couldn’t. It would put everything in danger, but Uther had to listen to him. Arthur had absolutely no interest in marrying a woman. He couldn’t put himself through this torture. He couldn’t put Elena through this torture. He had to stop it somehow.
Resolving to tell Uther on Monday, Arthur went to bed and spent a fitful night tossing and turning along with the sea of nerves in his stomach.
By the time he made it to the office the next morning, he felt as if he hadn’t slept at all.
“Are you alright?” Gwen asked when he came in, dragging his feet and sweeping his hair from his eyes.
“Of course,” he said simply, straightening his tie and wondering just how sleep-deprived he looked.
He retreated to his office, and when Gwen brought in tea later, he barely muttered a thank you.
He had to do it, he told himself. He could do it. He could go in and tell Uther that he wanted to call off the wedding. Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest time to do it, with the merger just over a month away now, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He didn’t want to wake up in an unfamiliar house with Elena in bed next to him and wonder where the time had gone.
Morning slipped by, the sun outside his window mocking his bad mood as he tried to draw up the courage to do it.
He nearly fell out of his chair when the intercom buzzed and Gwen’s voice crackled through.
“Sir, your father would like to see you in his office. It sounded urgent.”
“Thank you, Gwen,” he replied, taking a fortifying breath. His stomach coiled up into knots as he left his office and walked down the hall to Uther’s office.
Uther’s assistant wasn’t at her desk and Arthur walked forward and knocked on the door. He was told to enter and opened the door.
Uther’s office was about twice the size of Arthur’s, the entire back wall a glass window. Uther’s cherry wood desk took up half the space and the walls were covered with expensive works of art.
As a child, Arthur had been intimidated by the size of the space and now was no different.
Stepping forward, he didn’t take the chair before Uther’s desk, but stood with his hands on the back of it.
Uther looked up from his computer, a calculating tilt to his eyebrows. The snakes in Arthur’s stomach tightened nervously at the look. This would not be easy.
“Arthur, I wish to speak with you on an important matter,” Uther said, voice cool.
“I need to speak with you as well,” Arthur replied, watching Uther’s expression deepen.
“Oh?”
This was it. This was the moment of truth. If he couldn’t do it now, he never would.
“It’s about the wedding,” he forced out finally. “I can’t go through with it.”
To his surprise, Uther didn’t immediately explode. Instead, Uther stood from his chair, tapping his finger on the desk, expression dark.
“I suppose this has to do with that man you’ve been seeing behind Elena’s back. Merlin.”
Arthur’s heart stuttered over a beat as Uther mentioned Merlin.
“Merlin?” he repeated, eyes wide, fear stealing over him as Uther looked at him, steel in his eyes.
“This wedding is not about you,” Uther said sternly. “And it’s certainly not about some poor boy who plays with card tricks. It is about you upholding your responsibility to this family and to this company.”
“Father, you’re not listening.” Arthur tried to explain, but Uther only shook his head. “I don’t love Elena. I don’t even like her that much. I like blokes! You know that!”
“Stop it!” Uther snapped, voice booming in the room. “This isn’t about what you want! This merger is an important step for the company, and you can’t go running around doing whatever you like. It’s time to take responsibility, Arthur. You will be getting married and that’s the end of it.”
Arthur stared at Uther for a second before his mouth opened again.
“Father, I can’t get married. I don’t want to. I understand the importance, but Elena and I have nothing in common. We’re two complete strangers.”
“You said the same thing in March, but yet you agreed. It’s that boy that made this change, isn’t it? You should forget about him. He has nothing to do with your future and the future of this company.”
“Maybe it was Merlin,” Arthur agreed. “But I tried to tell you before that I didn’t want to get married. I’m not ready, and Elena is not my match. Can’t you understand that?”
For a long moment, Uther surveyed Arthur, eyes narrowed, and then he tilted his chin up.
“Perhaps I was wrong to give you so much responsibility. Maybe this just isn’t the right fit for you. Morgana has indicated an interest in joining the company. Perhaps you would be happier that way.”
“Morgana?” Arthur frowned. He shook his head. “I don’t want to leave the company, Father. I just can’t get married.”
Uther paused for a long moment while Arthur felt fear bubbling inside him.
“You should take the rest of the day off, Arthur,” he said finally. “Think about what you’re choosing.”
Arthur didn’t know what to say as Uther left him alone in the office. Slumping back against the desk, he bowed his head.
*
As much as Arthur tried to convince himself that he could do it, that he could take responsibility and do his duty for his father and for the company, when he sat down with Elena to have lunch a few days later, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Elena fiddled with her napkin after they’d ordered and the server had disappeared.
Reaching for his glass of water, Arthur cleared his throat, although he wasn’t sure exactly how to start or even what to really say.
Elena only gazed out the window at the people passing by.
The past few days at the office had been hell. Morgana had swept in, all friendly air-kisses, but something in her sprightly step made it clear she was thrilled with the new turn of events. Arthur couldn’t quite fathom why, but he had long learned not to trust Morgana’s motives.
Uther had refused to speak to him except to heavily imply that he was running the company to ruin before he even had the chance to take over the reins.
He had tried calling Merlin again, but it had only gone to voicemail. Was Merlin ignoring him? His texts went unanswered as well, and Arthur had stopped trying. Was he throwing all this away for someone who wouldn’t even talk to him? Was it really worth it?
Glancing up at Elena and seeing the way she blinked slowly out the window as if she had not a single thought in her brain, Arthur knew that, Merlin or no, he couldn’t go through with this wedding.
“Elena,” he said finally, and she looked back at him, reaching up to twirl a curl around her finger.
“Yes?”
He wasn’t sure how to say it in a way that wouldn’t completely hurt her feelings.
“Over the past few months,” he started slowly, feeling out his words. “I feel we’ve gotten to know each other to a certain extent.”
Elena nodded in agreement and let go of the curl. It sprang back up.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you.” He hesitated. “The thing is that I’m… not really attracted to women.”
To his surprise, Elena barely reacted. “My father did mention,” she said.
“Did he? Well, I know this wedding is important for everyone involved, and you’ve spent so much time planning it. I hate to see hard work go to waste.”
This was harder than he’d expected, especially as Elena just watched him, a curious tilt to her head as though waiting for the end. She was a very nice, if not scatterbrained, girl.
“It’s just,” he said finally. “I’m not sure I can do it. You’re very nice, but I’m just not ready for marriage, and not to someone I don’t love.”
He wasn’t sure how he expected Elena to react. Maybe she would cry or be stone cold like Morgana, or maybe she would just walk out.
He didn’t expect her to let out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
“Sorry?”
“It’s not you, really. I just, I don’t want to get married either.” She shook her head. “You’re so nice and polite, but I just don’t like you that way, and since you would rather shag a bloke, I’m sure the feeling’s mutual.”
Arthur couldn’t believe it. Of all the reactions he had considered, relief had not been one of them.
“You’re alright with this?” he asked, slightly confused.
“Oh, yes.” She nodded her head fervently. “My father wouldn’t listen when I said I didn’t want to, but he and your father were so committed to the idea.”
“If only they could see.”
Elena watched him for a second, folding her napkin on the table. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
A wave of guilt crashed over him, even though he knew Elena wouldn’t be upset by it. He didn’t reply immediately and Elena fiddled with her fork.
“Whoever you’re always texting,” she said. “I’ve seen you smile whenever you get a new one. You didn’t smile like that at me. It’s alright. It’s better to have someone you care about than someone you’re forced into marriage with.” She laughed lightly, and for the first time, Arthur thought he may have underestimated her.
“You’re smarter than I gave you credit for.”
“A lot of people say that.” Elena smiled and then paused. “Do you think we’ve ruined the merger?”
“I hope not.” Arthur sighed, thinking of Uther’s disgruntled expression every time they passed each other in the halls, of Morgana flouncing around as though she owned the place.
“They’re adults,” Elena said, trying to sound hopeful. “They should understand, right?”
Arthur wasn’t so sure about that, but at least one thing had been settled, a weight lifted off his chest: there would be no wedding.
*
Arthur sighed as the call went to voicemail again.
“Hello, you’ve reached Merlin! I’m not here so leave a message and maybe I’ll ring you back.”
Merlin couldn’t possibly be avoiding him this much.
“Sir,” came a voice from the doorway to the office, and Arthur looked up to see Gwen hovering there. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. Gwen, you can ask me anything.” He gestured for her to come in and she did, closing the door carefully behind her. She paused a moment, ringing her hands together slightly.
“I’ve been hearing some… things,” she said slowly, “about the company. Mr. Pendragon has been setting up an office for Morgana. He’s said I’m to be her new assistant.”
Arthur’s mouth dropped slightly. He couldn’t believe Uther would stoop so low as to take his assistant away from him.
“Morgana requested me apparently,” Gwen went on, and things started to click. Morgana had requested Gwen.
He had been thinking about his conversation with Uther for days now, and it had come to him that Uther had called Merlin a poor, card-playing boy. How had he known what Merlin did? How had he even known about Merlin? The only people who did were Gwen and Morgana, who had, in some respects, introduced them. And now Morgana was stealing away his assistant and even his position in the company.
He had known she wasn’t happy with Uther, but when had that become a vendetta against him as well? And what did she have to gain by coming into the company?
Having no answers to those questions, Arthur had been left to watch and wait, hoping something new would come to light.
“If it’s all the same to you,” Gwen went on, dropping her hands and smoothing down her skirt. “If you do leave the company, I would be happy to come with you.”
Her show of loyalty touched him in a way he hadn’t expected, and he smiled for a second.
“Gwen, that is so wonderful of you, but I’m afraid it won’t be necessary. I want you to be Morgana’s assistant.”
Gwen stared, clearly taken aback as his response. “I’m sorry?”
Arthur stood from his chair and rounded the desk, lowering his voice as he spoke. “Something is going on with Morgana and I need to find out what. If you voluntarily leave me for her, she will trust you.”
Gwen gazed at him for a long moment before she nodded. “I will do my best.”
“You always do.”
She headed for the door, pausing as she reached for the handle. “Merlin’s very lucky,” she said, leaving before Arthur could do more than open his mouth in surprise.
He didn’t go after her to ask what she meant by that. Of course Merlin had probably told her everything. He supposed he hadn’t given her enough credit either.
*
As lucky as Gwen may have thought Merlin was, Merlin didn’t seem to agree by the way he still hadn’t responded to a single call or text in the last week. Could he really hate Arthur that much? The thought worried Arthur, and it was all he could do to stop himself from doing something ridiculously stupid such as going to Merlin’s flat and blasting a cheesy eighties song through his iPod speakers.
It was Tuesday when Uther stopped by his office. So far, Arthur had stopped doing most of his work, especially since Uther had started funneling it all over to Morgana. Morgana had stopped by only once to give him a smirk and ask how his work was going.
Arthur had wanted to slap the smile right off her face, but he’d merely returned the look and shut her out of his office.
He missed Gwen. It had only been a few days, but he had never realized how difficult it was to get his own tea in the mornings.
The knock on the door startled him out of his staring competition with his mobile, willing it to ring with Merlin on the other end.
“Come in,” he said, sitting back in his chair, but he stood up as Uther stepped inside.
For a moment, Uther didn’t meet his eyes, glancing around the room.
Arthur couldn’t fathom why he was here except to deliver the final blow and tell him to pack up his office for good. He had never thought his father would do such a thing, but being cut-off wasn’t something unheard of in their world. Arthur had just never expected it to happen to him, especially since he had always followed Uther’s every wish.
Finally, Uther cleared his throat. “Arthur, the merger takes place next month.”
Arthur frowned slightly.
“I expect you to be at the forefront of the project. No excuses.”
This only made Arthur more confused. “I don’t understand.”
Uther huffed out a sigh, raising his chin slightly. “Perhaps I was a bit too harsh on you,” he said, as though the words pained him to say. Arthur wasn’t sure he had ever heard Uther admit he was wrong. “You are still young and Godwyn assures me that despite the hiccup, the merger will go through. You and Elena are no longer engaged.”
For a moment, Arthur could do nothing more than stare at Uther and his inability to meet his gaze again.
“That’s-I mean, thank you, Father. I appreciate that.”
“Yes, well.” Uther clasped his hands behind his back.
“What about Morgana?” Arthur asked. Last he had heard, she had been put in charge of the companies finances.
Uther seemed to avoid Arthur’s gaze even more fervently now.
“It’s come to light that she and Cenred had plans I wasn’t aware of.”
“Plans?”
“She contacted Godwyn with a scheme to oust me from the company. Her assistant found emails detailing their plan, and Godwyn confirmed. Needless to say, I don’t think Morgana will be involved with the Pendragon Corporation any time soon.”
Arthur worked hard not to grin at Gwen’s accomplishment or the fact that Morgana hadn’t gotten her way.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Father,” he said instead, and Uther shot him a look as though he knew what Arthur was thinking.
“Don’t think you’ve gotten out of this so easily,” Uther warned him. “You’ve still ruined an entire wedding. I expect you to be completely happy with this Merlin boy considering how much you were willing to give up for him.”
Arthur forced a smile, thinking of how Merlin hadn’t called him back in weeks.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Uther said, drawing himself up and looking uncomfortable again at the sudden influx of emotions into the conversation. “Your assistant will be back with you this afternoon.”
Arthur really did smile this time. Uther glanced at him one last time before turning and leaving without another word.
Now if only he could get Merlin to forgive him. Then maybe things would be okay.
*
Arthur didn’t know what he was doing. In a million years, he never thought he would be one of those people showing up on other people’s doorsteps with flowers and an apology in hand, but Merlin still hadn’t returned a text or call, and he was desperate. He had to tell Merlin what had happened, explain how he really felt, and somehow gain his forgiveness for how he had acted.
Knocking on the flat door, he stood back, nerves creeping through him. He held the flowers tightly behind his back, hoping Merlin wouldn’t find it cheesy or stupid.
The door remained shut so long that Arthur almost gave up. Clearly Merlin didn’t want to see him. Maybe he was just wasting his time, but he couldn’t leave without at least hearing it from Merlin’s mouth.
At long last, the door cracked open and Merlin appeared, hair mussed and blinking himself awake.
“Arthur?” he asked, rubbing his face and yawning as he opened the door wider to reveal that he was wearing only a thin pair of pajama pants and nothing else.
It was barely six in the afternoon, and Merlin was asleep. Arthur wasn’t sure what that meant, so he held out the flowers from behind his back, watching Merlin blink confusedly.
“Not exactly from thin air, but I gave it a try.”
Merlin’s eyes moved from the flowers to Arthur’s face slowly. He stared for a second before jerking, glancing down at his clothes as Arthur’s gaze flicked down to his chest.
“Oh! I was just taking a nap. Do you want to come in?”
Arthur followed Merlin into the flat, shutting the door. Nothing had changed since the last time he’d been there. Unsure, he set the flowers down on the countertop and turned to Merlin.
“Sorry about the mess,” Merlin said quickly, grabbing a few shirts off the floor and tossing them into the bedroom. “I haven’t really had time to clean since I got back.”
“Got back?” Arthur didn’t know why Merlin was acting nervous when he was the one there to apologize, to admit that he’d been a real prat.
Merlin scrubbed a hand through his hair, making him look even more adorable, if that was possible. Arthur felt his heart throb stupidly. How could one person make him feel this dumb and happy all at the same time?
“I had to go to Rome for a couple weeks for my thesis. Last-minute trip. I just got back.”
“You just got back,” Arthur repeated, and Merlin smiled slightly.
“Are you just repeating everything I’m saying?”
Arthur shook his head sharply. “No. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Why are you here? I thought we agreed not to see each other anymore.” The smile vanished from Merlin’s face and he looked sad again. Arthur hated it, hated how his heart contracted at the sight. “It isn’t as if anything has changed.”
“I’m not engaged anymore,” Arthur said simply, watching Merlin’s face, the flash of confusion.
“Y-you’re not?”
“We called it off, me and Elena. I almost got booted out of the company. And all because I met a goofy magician that I can never stop thinking about.”
Merlin didn’t reply immediately, looking as though he was thinking fast. In the corner of the living room, Clyde thumped his cage loudly.
“You’re not having me on?” he asked finally, and Arthur took a step towards him.
“I swear I’m not. My father even gave us his blessing, sort of.”
Merlin looked as if he didn’t believe that from the eyebrow raise he shot Arthur.
“You are having me on,” he said again, but a tiny smile formed at the corner of his mouth.
“I’m not,” Arthur insisted, reaching for Merlin and sliding his arms around his waist despite Merlin’s skeptically arched eyebrow. “I am telling the one hundred percent truth. You can ask Gwen.”
“I’m not gonna ask Gwen,” he said, rolling his eyes, but he didn’t pull away from Arthur’s grip. Instead, he raised a hand to Arthur’s shoulder, resting it there and letting his eyes scan Arthur’s face and jaw, down to his neck and chest.
Arthur pulled Merlin’s chin up to face him. “I know I can be stubborn sometimes and I don’t always follow my own heart when it comes to business and my father, but you came along at exactly the wrong time and put wrench in all my plans, and I came by to tell you thank you.”
“You did?” Merlin asked, still sounding skeptical, but his voice softened as Arthur’s thumb brushed down his jaw.
“If I hadn’t met you, I’d still be engaged, and I’d spend the rest of my life wishing I had met someone who made me want to change that. How did you do that?”
“Magic,” Merlin replied simply, smiling now. “I used magic.”
“I bet you did.” Arthur grinned, and he kissed Merlin before they could waste any more time bantering.
Merlin’s arms twined around his neck, pulling him in closer, and he felt Merlin’s smile against his lips in between kisses.
“The flowers were a nice touch,” Merlin murmured when they parted for a moment, and Arthur smiled.
“It was the best I could do without knowing your tricks.”
Merlin chuckled, pressing his mouth to Arthur’s jaw, teeth grazing along the skin. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you all my tricks.”
Arthur groaned, pulling Merlin’s mouth to his and backing him into the bedroom.
“You definitely will,” he said as Merlin fell onto the bed and grinned up at him.
As he stripped off his shirt, Arthur knew that he had made the right decision. Even if marriage wouldn’t be there to strengthen the company, the merger would go through. Morgana would slink back to her home with Cenred to plot something else, and Arthur would have Merlin by his side to see it all through.
*
FIN.
Merlin glanced up, a half smile on his face, although Arthur wasn’t sure it was due to the question or a lingering awkwardness from the way Arthur had kissed his cheek when they’d met.
He didn’t know what he’d been thinking. The action had just sort of happened without his permission.
“It’s coming,” he replied, tossing away the chip and reaching for his drink instead.
“When do you think you’ll be done?”
“Hopefully by December. It would be nice to be done with school.”
Under the table, Arthur felt Merlin’s foot brush against his, and he didn’t move his foot away.
Though it had been over a week since he’d seen or talked to Merlin, something lingered between them. Perhaps it was the fact that they hadn’t talked about the phone call in Scotland or that when he had seen Merlin, Arthur’s heart had stupidly skipped a beat. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he was glad to see Merlin again.
“What are you going to do once you finish?”
Merlin shrugged, stealing a chip from Arthur’s plate despite that his was still half-full. Arthur smiled to himself at the gesture but said nothing.
“Maybe I’ll get a real job. Can’t do kid’s parties forever.”
“But you like kids, don’t you?”
Merlin smiled. “Yeah, but pulling a lolly from thin air isn’t exactly impressive.”
“Can you do card tricks?”
Merlin laughed, shaking his head at Arthur. “Still not impressive. If I could make a tiger disappear, that would be impressive.”
“You’d have to move to Las Vegas for that.”
“I’m not one for hot weather,” Merlin said. His gaze flicked to the ring on Arthur’s finger, and Arthur had a sudden urge to hide it. “How’s the wedding planning?”
Arthur didn’t know why Merlin asked, why he even wanted to know.
“It’s…fine,” he said at length. “Gwen seems excited about her wedding.”
Merlin leaned back in his chair, pushing a hand through his short hair. “I’m sure it will be all white dresses and flowers from here until the actual day.”
“She doesn’t seem that girly.”
“Weddings do strange things to people,” Merlin pointed out.
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Arthur muttered, thinking of Uther’s desire to know every detail of the wedding planning.
Merlin picked up a chip but didn’t eat it. Arthur wished this strange awkwardness would go away, but he didn’t know what to say to make it.
“If I ever get married, I’m just going to go to a judge and do it that way. It’s too much stress planning a wedding. It’s just a piece of paper to sign.”
“Don’t get married,” Arthur said quickly, stopping himself from reaching for Merlin’s hand.
Merlin frowned. “Why not?”
“Just don’t,” Arthur repeated, reaching for his drink and trying to ignore the way his stomach twisted as Merlin watched him and said nothing in return.
*
Despite the merger being several months away, there was more and more work to do, and Arthur found himself on Thursday evening sitting in the empty office going over financial reports and projections for the next five years. He had sent Gwen home hours ago and his stomach rumbled from the lack of dinner.
His head had started to throb the longer he sat there, going through lists filled with numbers.
He really need a drink, he thought, but he couldn’t go get one until the work was done, and that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Instead, he tried to focus on the numbers, doing more calculations, double-checking each one and marking them down.
Outside, the sky had darkened already, leaving the lights of the city to shine in, a mixture of orange, yellow, and greens pressing against the windowpane.
Without thinking, Arthur pulled out his mobile, checking for messages, but there were none. He turned it over in his hand, debating doing anything.
Finally, he gave up trying to work for now. He could take a short break.
You know what’s an overrated book? Romeo and Juliet.
He didn’t know why he wrote it, really, except that he had to say something. Something had changed since that night, that phone call, and he wanted to get things back to how they had been.
Why? came Merlin’s text. Do you have it memorized?
Arthur wondered how Merlin always responded so quickly. He never seemed to hesitate for more than a few minutes at a time.
It’s unrealistic. They’re so young.
Arthur really should have been working since Uther expected the documents to be completed by Monday morning, and Arthur didn’t look forward to working through the weekend. Besides, he and Elena were meant to have tea with Morgana and Cenred on Sunday, another thing he wasn’t particularly looking forward to.
Love knows no age, came Merlin’s reply a minute later.
For a second, Arthur paused, fingers poised over the keyboard. He had to say something, if not to Merlin’s face at least to his mobile.
I just want to say, about the other night, I don’t want things to be weird.
He really didn’t know what else to say except the things he couldn’t say like, he wished they could do it again; he wished they didn’t have to be just mates anymore.
The minutes stretched as Merlin didn’t reply right away, nerves curling Arthur’s stomach as he waited impatiently. He couldn’t focus on work, the piles of papers before him that still needed to be combed through. Uther didn’t trust only one person to look it over, and Arthur always seemed to find himself doing the work.
Still, Merlin’s response didn’t come, so Arthur forced himself to look away from the mobile. A watched phone never rang, or did that only apply to pots?
Numbers blurred before his eyes and he couldn’t focus, not when his mobile finally buzzed, vibrating on the desk. He snatched it up far too eagerly, opening Merlin’s message.
As far as phone sex goes, you weren’t the worst I’ve ever had.
Arthur surprised himself by laughing at the message.
Glad to hear it, he sent back.
Merlin was such an understanding bloke, Arthur thought as he set the phone aside, the bundle of nerves gone from his stomach. He almost couldn’t believe it. If the shoe had been on the other foot, Arthur doubted he would have reacted the same.
Reaching for the stack of documents, Arthur looked up sharply at the knock on the door.
He frowned, opening his mouth to ask who it was, but the door creaked open without his permission, and he was surprised to see Uther standing there.
“Father,” he said, confused. “What are you doing here?”
“Still working on those numbers?” Uther asked instead of answering the question.
“Er, yes.” Arthur couldn’t figure out why Uther would be there that late, and he was even more surprised when Uther took the chair across from Arthur’s.
Uther leaned back, taking in Arthur’s office, the degree hanging on the wall, the tiny window overlooking the city.
“You know, Arthur, back when I started working at the company, my father took me under his wing and taught me everything he knew. I spent many a night working late in this very office. Things were different then. We didn’t have computers or mobile phones to do our work for us.”
Arthur didn’t completely understand what he was getting at nor why he was still there so late.
“I’ve often wondered if you were ready for this,” Uther went on thoughtfully. “But you taking so much responsibility in the merger, putting in effort to get to know Elena, committing to the wedding. Well, it really shows how much you’ve grown since the University boy who was red carded in football for breaking that young man’s ankle.”
“That was an accident,” Arthur reminded him.
“My point is that you’re growing into a fine young man, worthy of taking over the company when I retire. I’m rather proud.”
Arthur smiled at Uther, a glow filling him. He couldn’t remember a time his father had actually said something like that.
“Thank you,” he said finally, still a little taken aback.
His phone chose that moment to vibrate with a text, and Arthur glanced at the screen quickly, pulling it away before Uther could see Merlin’s name on the screen.
“Is that Elena?” Uther asked.
Hiding the phone under the table, the glow faded abruptly, and Arthur hesitated.
“Er, yes,” he lied, squeezing the mobile tightly.
“There’s no need for you to do all this tonight,” Uther said, gesturing at the documents. “You should go see your girl.”
Guilt gnawed at his stomach, but Arthur couldn’t argue as Uther rose from his seat and gestured him up.
“Enjoy your youth while you can, Arthur.”
Arthur nodded, taking out the phone as Uther turned his back to leave. He clicked on Merlin’s message.
I knew you would be.
The feeling of guilt only grew, and he grabbed his overcoat, flicking off the lights as he left.
*
He had to try harder, Arthur resolved. He had to try harder with Elena, and that was perhaps what made him take her hand as they stood in front of Morgana’s house and rang the bell.
Elena glanced at him as he did it, but she said nothing about it and Arthur hadn’t expected her to.
It wasn’t raining, though the sky was overcast as they waited for the door to be answered. The forecast had called for sun all week, but Arthur wasn’t sure that was right.
Finally, the door opened and Morgana greeted them, insisting on taking their coats.
“Go on to the sitting room,” she said, a bit too cheerful for Arthur’s liking. He hadn’t seen her like this since long before her and Uther’s blow up.
Leading Elena by the hand, he guided her to the sitting room where tea and finger sandwiches were already set up on the coffee table.
Cenred sat sprawled in the chair near the mantle, legs spread wide and slumped halfway down. He looked wilder than Arthur remembered, his hair longer and a beard growing in on his face. It had, after all, been several months since he had actually been home when Arthur had come around.
“Arthur,” he greeted him, voice rough, and he didn’t rise to shake Arthur’s hand, instead gesturing at the sofa.
Arthur sat down alongside Elena, who was already admiring the deserts on the china.
“How’ve you been, Cenred?” Arthur asked politely, glancing back at the entranceway for Morgana, but she hadn’t returned from putting up the coats yet.
“Good, good,” Cenred replied vaguely. “Got a business deal going in France. Should be done by the end of the month.”
Arthur had never been completely clear on what business Cenred was in, but he nodded as though he did.
“Uncle Arthur!” Sophie Anne’s voice interrupted the awkward silence and she burst out of a hallway, excitement on her face. She hugged him tightly. “You haven’t been round lately.”
“I’ve been very busy,” he told her, and she glanced at Elena. Elena smiled at her fondly.
“With the wedding planning,” Sophie Anne said knowledgeably. “Mother says it’s going to be beautiful.”
Arthur looked up as Morgana returned.
“I’m sure it will be,” Morgana said. “Sophie Anne, you have practicing to do.”
“Yes, Mum,” she replied obediently, giving Arthur another hug. “Will you say goodbye before you leave?”
“Of course,” he assured her. Her smile widened and it reminded Arthur of Morgana at that age, still so full of hope for life. He hoped she would remain that way.
She ran off, and a few moments later, Arthur heard the muffled plunking of piano keys.
Morgana sat down and began pouring the tea for everyone.
“Elena, I wanted to ask about the bridesmaid dresses,” she said, and Elena scooted forward on the couch attentively. “Are you completely set on the purple?”
“It is a lovely colour,” Elena said, quailing slightly under Morgana’s smile that seemed more threatening than friendly, despite the way Morgana handed over the cup of tea and a small cake.
Arthur had little interest in dress colours. He hadn’t even picked out his tie. As they talked, his hand went immediately for his mobile, but it wasn’t in his pocket.
He must have left it in his coat, he thought regretfully, but then he stopped himself. He shouldn’t have been thinking of texting Merlin, not when he was sitting next to Elena and Morgana and Cenred were right there. Elena may have been clueless as to what he was doing, but Morgana certainly wouldn’t be. There was no need to arouse any suspicions.
He ran his hand against his leg when the mobile wasn’t there, taking a sip of the scalding tea.
“Purple can just be so garish,” Morgana was saying, and Cenred yawned.
“I think it’s pretty,” Elena replied, almost unsure.
“It’s only one day,” Arthur interrupted finally. “Surely it won’t be that bad. Elena likes it. That’s what matters.”
He may not have cared about dress colours, but he did care that Morgana didn’t walk all over anyone, whether or not he liked that person. Elena didn’t deserve her disdain, at the very least.
Elena looked grateful at his help while Morgana’s gaze transferred to him, cold for a second, but then she smiled easily.
“Of course, Arthur. I only asked out of interest.”
Though she handed him another cake, Arthur had a feeling her smile hid more than he knew.
*
“Wake up,” Arthur said, poking at Merlin’s leg that lay draped over his lap. From the other end of the sofa, Merlin glanced over at him, the television playing credits from the movie that had just ended.
“I’m awake,” he said easily, trying to push himself up, but he only managed to scoot up a few inches. He pushed at Arthur’s thigh with his toes, and Arthur tried not to think of how close Merlin was to sliding up his thigh to his crotch.
“What did you think?” Arthur asked, gesturing at the telly.
“I still say the books are better.” Merlin ran a hand through his ruffled hair, still looking half-asleep, though he had assured Arthur that he was awake the whole time. He looked adorably shaggable in Arthur’s opinion, and it took most of the restraint he had not to just crawl over Merlin, pin him to the sofa, and snog all the sense out of him.
“Books are always going to be better,” Arthur conceded. “But you have to admit that was a pretty decent adaptation.”
Merlin curled his lip, making a face that clearly said he hated that Arthur was right.
“Fine, it wasn’t terrible,” he admitted finally, laughing when Arthur shoved his legs off his lap finally. “Sorry, did I insult you?”
“Just the film,” Arthur said, getting up to stop the DVD and put it away.
Merlin only watched from the sofa, and Arthur thought he caught him checking out his ass as he turned around. Arching an eyebrow, he returned to the sofa and sat down, much closer to Merlin this time.
Beside him, Merlin sighed tiredly, setting his feet on the coffee table instead.
“Your flat is bigger than I remember,” he said, glancing around.
“You didn’t exactly get a tour the first time.”
Merlin smiled slightly, his hand running through his hair again, making it even messier. Arthur wondered if he did it on purpose, if he knew how sexy he was, how much it took for Arthur to stop thinking about getting him naked again.
He probably shouldn’t have even invited Merlin over, but the thought of not seeing Merlin made him feel worse than the thought of what this meant to him and to the wedding.
“You were a little busy,” Merlin replied, grin widening mischievously.
“Well, you were a little demanding.”
“I am not demanding,” Merlin protested.
“Okay, loud then.”
Merlin laughed. “Wouldn’t want your posh neighbours hearing your inappropriate relations with blokes, huh?”
“The walls are two feet thick,” Arthur pointed out. He hardly ever heard noise from the neighbours, but he also suspected they weren’t home frequently. In the three years he had lived in the flat, he hadn’t actually officially met the neighbours. Perhaps that was strange, but Arthur didn’t really mind.
“Mine are only an inch,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. “I wish they were a bit thicker.”
“Don’t want your neighbours to hear you?” Arthur asked cheekily, and he was rewarded with an elbow to the stomach.
“Yes, they’re constantly complaining about my string of lovers,” Merlin replied sarcastically. “As you know, I can be loud.”
Arthur laughed, but even as he did so, his mind wandered to Merlin’s previous lovers. Had he had very many? Why was he single now?
He couldn’t fathom why given Merlin’s intelligence, sense of humor, and the adorable way his eyes crinkled when he laughed.
As he gazed at Merlin for a minute, and Merlin said nothing, he felt a pang in his chest, something he hadn’t felt before. He wanted every night to be like this, with Merlin in his flat, arguing about movies, Merlin’s feet in his lap, Merlin rubbing him off after a long day of work.
He wanted to be able to lean over and capture his mouth for a soft kiss, something that didn’t have to lead to sex, but if it did, all for the better.
Arthur didn’t stop himself, then, when he moved forward, closing the gap between them. Merlin didn’t lean back either, out of his way, and their lips met for the first time in months.
The first kiss was soft, barely a press of lips against lips, but Arthur moved first, licking Merlin’s bottom lip and following the movement into his mouth.
Merlin let Arthur slip his tongue into his mouth, lips sliding together slowly, a soft, sensual kiss that made Arthur’s stomach flutter stupidly. Arthur raised a hand to Merlin’s jaw, caressing the skin with his fingertips as he kissed him again, pressing their mouths together harder.
Leaning forward, he felt the brush of Merlin’s nose, the stutter of breath he took when their lips parted for a second.
Arthur hadn’t kissed anyone like this in a long while, not even with Gwaine had it ever been like this, and certainly not with Elena, although he had barely kissed her on the cheek.
His weight pressed into Merlin as they leaned back on the sofa, lips never leaving the other, kisses slow and drawn-out. Arthur sucked on Merlin’s bottom lip, releasing it slowly and dipping his tongue back in his mouth as Merlin’s back pressed into the sofa. Arthur’s hand moved down to Merlin’s thigh, sliding up slowly.
“Wait,” Merlin said suddenly, breaking the kiss and reaching for Arthur’s hand. “Wait, Arthur, stop.”
“What?”
To his surprise, Merlin elbowed him up, wiping his mouth and scooting away from Arthur.
“We can’t do this.”
Arthur frowned. “Sorry?” He didn’t understand why Merlin was stopping something that was so good.
The light flush on Merlin’s cheeks slowly receded as he took a breath and met Arthur’s eyes.
“I think I may actually really like you, Arthur, but I can’t keep going back and forth. Are we friends? Are we in some sort of weird relationship? I don’t understand what’s going on.”
Arthur didn’t know what to say, the warmth that had filled him a second ago turning cold.
“Well, we’re mates,” he said finally, but Merlin tilted his head with a frown.
“It’s more than that,” Merlin said. “It’s sometimes mates, sometimes more. You’re about to be married. I can’t just sit around and wait until you make up your mind.”
For a second, Arthur said nothing. Was this an ultimatum?
“What are you saying?” he asked instead. “Are you saying you want me to just call off the wedding and ruin a whole company for you?”
Merlin sighed, looking frustrated. “When you put it that way…”
“I can’t do that.” Arthur rose from the couch, turning to stare at Merlin. How could he ask such a thing? “The company, and the wedding - I can’t.”
“I know,” Merlin said, rising as well and grabbing his jacket off the back of the sofa. “And that’s why I’m saying that I can’t do this either. I can’t be just your friend, and you can’t be anything else to me. So we might as well save ourselves any more trouble and just end whatever this is now.”
“What?” Arthur asked, somehow surprised all the same.
Merlin pulled on his jacket and headed for the front door. Arthur took a few steps towards him, intending to say something to stop him, but as much as it pained him to admit it, Merlin had a point.
Merlin turned at the door, a heartbreaking expression on his face. All Arthur wanted to do was grab him and cover his face with kisses until he stopped looking like that, but he couldn’t make his feet move, couldn’t make himself do anything except stare, his heart thudding loudly in his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Merlin said as he paused. “I wish things were different.”
He grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open, stepping into the hall and letting it shut behind him.
Arthur knew he should go after him, but there was nothing he could say to bring Merlin back. Nothing would change the situation, and instead of following him, Arthur leaned against the side of the couch and crossed his arms. There was nothing he could do, and he hated the pit in his gut as he sighed and remained in his flat.
*
“How is it that you’re getting wedding gifts already?” Gwen asked as she lugged an ornately-wrapped box into Arthur’s office and set it in the corner.
Arthur blinked, pulling his mind from where it had been replaying the conversation with Merlin over and over again. It had been almost a week, and he hadn’t heard from Merlin at all. It worried him, but he couldn’t call Merlin, not until he had some sort of solution or answer, but he’d been over all the possible avenues, and none of them were at all possible.
“I’m sure it’s just from some distant relative.” Arthur dismissed it, looking away from the shiny silver wrapping paper. He didn’t want to think about the wedding. It just made him feel slightly sick to his stomach even though it was still months off.
The merger, on the other hand, seemed to loom closer and closer with each passing day. Just earlier, Uther had come in and told him to fire Alice.
“But she’s been with the company for years,” he argued.
Uther turned over the facedown photograph of Arthur and Elena from the engagement shoot, setting it up on Arthur’s desk. Arthur kept it facedown most of the time so he didn’t have to look at his fake smile.
“Godwyn wants to bring in his tech support team, and we must modernize to keep up with demand. I’ve already arranged for her to come to your office tomorrow morning. You can do it then.”
Arthur felt his stomach lurch. Of all people to do the firing, why did it have to be him?
Uther seemed to sense his hesitation as he gave Arthur a stern look. “You’ve got to have convictions, Arthur, or else people will walk all over you.”
“Yes, Father,” Arthur agreed despite himself. Firing Alice would be like kicking a puppy. Though she was old, Arthur had grown up with her, almost as a grandmother figure.
“I expect it done tomorrow, and don’t forget to double-check those figures Leon will be sending over later.”
“Yes, of course,” Arthur said, holding in his exhale of breath until Uther left.
He was dreading the meeting with Alice, but he couldn’t seem to distract himself except with thoughts of Merlin which just made him feel worse, if anything.
Gwen came over and handed him a stack of papers.
“Reports from Leon.”
Rubbing his face, Arthur forced himself to focus. He couldn’t let everything fall apart because of one bloke. Merlin wasn’t even that special, he tried to tell himself. “Gwen,” he said as she turned to leave.
“Yes, sir?”
“Can I ask you something?”
She raised her eyebrows questioningly, and Arthur hesitated. She was Merlin’s best mate after all.
“If there was someone who fancied you but he was tied up in something he couldn’t get out of, would you wait for him or would you move on?”
Gwen thought for a moment. “I suppose it would depend how much I liked him.”
“What if you didn’t know if he could ever get out of his situation?”
Arthur watched her nervously, hoping she wouldn’t question why he was asking.
“Well, that would be a bit difficult, wouldn’t it,” she said after a moment. “I don’t know if anyone’s heart could take that.”
Arthur’s heart sunk as she said it, and he knew she was right as much as he hated it. He supposed there was nothing to do but accept his fate and try to make the most of it.
“Why do you ask?” Gwen asked, but Arthur shook his head.
“Just a friend’s situation,” he replied. “Thank you for the reports.”
Dismissed, Gwen gave him a strange look before she turned. Arthur squeezed the bridge of his nose before resolving himself to get back to work and leave thoughts of Merlin behind.
*
Arthur found himself wondering if it was possible to die from boredom as he sat on the bench next to Elena, watching a flock of ducks swarming the pond.
Elena picked apart a piece of bread, periodically tossing it to the birds, which then swarmed around them. Arthur eyed them distastefully but he said nothing to Elena. She had been mostly silent since they had met up at the coffee shop.
Stimulating conversations was not something Arthur could add to the positives when it came to Elena. Sitting back, he put his hands behind his head and tried to enjoy the relatively nice weather.
“Maybe when we’re married,” Elena said finally, tossing away the rest of the bread and watching the birds fight over it, “we could get a bird.”
The idea made Arthur cringe. Birds were loud and smelled awful.
“I don’t really want a bird in my flat.”
“It wouldn’t be in your flat,” Elena replied. “It’ll be in the new house.”
“House?” Arthur sat up slightly. Elena nodded.
“My father showed me a house outside of town. It’s quite nice, though the upkeep may be a bit much. I’m not really one for cleaning.”
Where had Arthur been that he had missed the bit about buying a house? He had known all along that they would be expected to live together after the wedding, but he hadn’t expected to leave his flat. He quite liked his flat. It was in a great location - just a few blocks from the Chinese takeaway restaurant and an easy commute to the office, and he’d made it his own.
Living with Elena. He had put off the thought given that it wasn’t exactly the most pleasant idea. It conjured up images of silent dinners over a long, empty table, sleeping in a bed together for the rest of his life, strange projects that Elena would do to keep herself busy, purple washrooms.
The thought terrified him, he realized as he sat there, ducks quacking and pecking around their feet. The idea of marriage terrified him, especially to someone he barely knew. Although he had known Elena for months now, he still felt as if he had no idea who she was, what she liked, or what she thought.
She was a little bit of an airhead, dull, and all her topics of conversation went in one ear and out the other. How could he even consider spending the rest of his life with her?
Something in his chest contracted, squeezing his heart the more he thought of it.
“Arthur?” she asked when he didn’t reply for a long moment. “Are you alright?”
Merlin’s flat wasn’t too far away, Arthur thought abruptly. If he took the underground, he could be there in five minutes. What would he say, though? That he didn’t want to go through with the wedding? That the idea of getting married made him feel sick? He couldn’t even say it to Elena, and she was watching him worriedly now.
Standing abruptly, he startled Elena.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“What?” Elena asked, standing as well. “Where are you going?”
Arthur didn’t have an answer except that he needed to get out of there before he did something stupid like have a panic attack. He’d never had one before, but thinking of the wedding and Merlin and everything else felt like life was spinning out of control.
“I just, I have a meeting I forgot about,” he lied, leaning in and pressing an automatic kiss to her cheek before hurrying away. He just needed to get away and figure things out. That was all.
*
Arthur spent the entire weekend attempting to convince himself that he could go through with this wedding. It wouldn’t be that bad. After they were married, he probably wouldn’t have to speak to Elena that much, although he knew Uther and Godwyn probably expected grandchildren.
Sex with Elena wasn’t something he could stomach thinking of, and it was that, perhaps, that was the last straw.
He called Merlin on Sunday night but it just went to voicemail. He hung up abruptly instead of leaving a message. What could he say to Merlin? He couldn’t ask his advice about this. Merlin probably wanted nothing to do with him.
He couldn’t marry Elena.
He just couldn’t. It would put everything in danger, but Uther had to listen to him. Arthur had absolutely no interest in marrying a woman. He couldn’t put himself through this torture. He couldn’t put Elena through this torture. He had to stop it somehow.
Resolving to tell Uther on Monday, Arthur went to bed and spent a fitful night tossing and turning along with the sea of nerves in his stomach.
By the time he made it to the office the next morning, he felt as if he hadn’t slept at all.
“Are you alright?” Gwen asked when he came in, dragging his feet and sweeping his hair from his eyes.
“Of course,” he said simply, straightening his tie and wondering just how sleep-deprived he looked.
He retreated to his office, and when Gwen brought in tea later, he barely muttered a thank you.
He had to do it, he told himself. He could do it. He could go in and tell Uther that he wanted to call off the wedding. Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest time to do it, with the merger just over a month away now, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He didn’t want to wake up in an unfamiliar house with Elena in bed next to him and wonder where the time had gone.
Morning slipped by, the sun outside his window mocking his bad mood as he tried to draw up the courage to do it.
He nearly fell out of his chair when the intercom buzzed and Gwen’s voice crackled through.
“Sir, your father would like to see you in his office. It sounded urgent.”
“Thank you, Gwen,” he replied, taking a fortifying breath. His stomach coiled up into knots as he left his office and walked down the hall to Uther’s office.
Uther’s assistant wasn’t at her desk and Arthur walked forward and knocked on the door. He was told to enter and opened the door.
Uther’s office was about twice the size of Arthur’s, the entire back wall a glass window. Uther’s cherry wood desk took up half the space and the walls were covered with expensive works of art.
As a child, Arthur had been intimidated by the size of the space and now was no different.
Stepping forward, he didn’t take the chair before Uther’s desk, but stood with his hands on the back of it.
Uther looked up from his computer, a calculating tilt to his eyebrows. The snakes in Arthur’s stomach tightened nervously at the look. This would not be easy.
“Arthur, I wish to speak with you on an important matter,” Uther said, voice cool.
“I need to speak with you as well,” Arthur replied, watching Uther’s expression deepen.
“Oh?”
This was it. This was the moment of truth. If he couldn’t do it now, he never would.
“It’s about the wedding,” he forced out finally. “I can’t go through with it.”
To his surprise, Uther didn’t immediately explode. Instead, Uther stood from his chair, tapping his finger on the desk, expression dark.
“I suppose this has to do with that man you’ve been seeing behind Elena’s back. Merlin.”
Arthur’s heart stuttered over a beat as Uther mentioned Merlin.
“Merlin?” he repeated, eyes wide, fear stealing over him as Uther looked at him, steel in his eyes.
“This wedding is not about you,” Uther said sternly. “And it’s certainly not about some poor boy who plays with card tricks. It is about you upholding your responsibility to this family and to this company.”
“Father, you’re not listening.” Arthur tried to explain, but Uther only shook his head. “I don’t love Elena. I don’t even like her that much. I like blokes! You know that!”
“Stop it!” Uther snapped, voice booming in the room. “This isn’t about what you want! This merger is an important step for the company, and you can’t go running around doing whatever you like. It’s time to take responsibility, Arthur. You will be getting married and that’s the end of it.”
Arthur stared at Uther for a second before his mouth opened again.
“Father, I can’t get married. I don’t want to. I understand the importance, but Elena and I have nothing in common. We’re two complete strangers.”
“You said the same thing in March, but yet you agreed. It’s that boy that made this change, isn’t it? You should forget about him. He has nothing to do with your future and the future of this company.”
“Maybe it was Merlin,” Arthur agreed. “But I tried to tell you before that I didn’t want to get married. I’m not ready, and Elena is not my match. Can’t you understand that?”
For a long moment, Uther surveyed Arthur, eyes narrowed, and then he tilted his chin up.
“Perhaps I was wrong to give you so much responsibility. Maybe this just isn’t the right fit for you. Morgana has indicated an interest in joining the company. Perhaps you would be happier that way.”
“Morgana?” Arthur frowned. He shook his head. “I don’t want to leave the company, Father. I just can’t get married.”
Uther paused for a long moment while Arthur felt fear bubbling inside him.
“You should take the rest of the day off, Arthur,” he said finally. “Think about what you’re choosing.”
Arthur didn’t know what to say as Uther left him alone in the office. Slumping back against the desk, he bowed his head.
*
As much as Arthur tried to convince himself that he could do it, that he could take responsibility and do his duty for his father and for the company, when he sat down with Elena to have lunch a few days later, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Elena fiddled with her napkin after they’d ordered and the server had disappeared.
Reaching for his glass of water, Arthur cleared his throat, although he wasn’t sure exactly how to start or even what to really say.
Elena only gazed out the window at the people passing by.
The past few days at the office had been hell. Morgana had swept in, all friendly air-kisses, but something in her sprightly step made it clear she was thrilled with the new turn of events. Arthur couldn’t quite fathom why, but he had long learned not to trust Morgana’s motives.
Uther had refused to speak to him except to heavily imply that he was running the company to ruin before he even had the chance to take over the reins.
He had tried calling Merlin again, but it had only gone to voicemail. Was Merlin ignoring him? His texts went unanswered as well, and Arthur had stopped trying. Was he throwing all this away for someone who wouldn’t even talk to him? Was it really worth it?
Glancing up at Elena and seeing the way she blinked slowly out the window as if she had not a single thought in her brain, Arthur knew that, Merlin or no, he couldn’t go through with this wedding.
“Elena,” he said finally, and she looked back at him, reaching up to twirl a curl around her finger.
“Yes?”
He wasn’t sure how to say it in a way that wouldn’t completely hurt her feelings.
“Over the past few months,” he started slowly, feeling out his words. “I feel we’ve gotten to know each other to a certain extent.”
Elena nodded in agreement and let go of the curl. It sprang back up.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you.” He hesitated. “The thing is that I’m… not really attracted to women.”
To his surprise, Elena barely reacted. “My father did mention,” she said.
“Did he? Well, I know this wedding is important for everyone involved, and you’ve spent so much time planning it. I hate to see hard work go to waste.”
This was harder than he’d expected, especially as Elena just watched him, a curious tilt to her head as though waiting for the end. She was a very nice, if not scatterbrained, girl.
“It’s just,” he said finally. “I’m not sure I can do it. You’re very nice, but I’m just not ready for marriage, and not to someone I don’t love.”
He wasn’t sure how he expected Elena to react. Maybe she would cry or be stone cold like Morgana, or maybe she would just walk out.
He didn’t expect her to let out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
“Sorry?”
“It’s not you, really. I just, I don’t want to get married either.” She shook her head. “You’re so nice and polite, but I just don’t like you that way, and since you would rather shag a bloke, I’m sure the feeling’s mutual.”
Arthur couldn’t believe it. Of all the reactions he had considered, relief had not been one of them.
“You’re alright with this?” he asked, slightly confused.
“Oh, yes.” She nodded her head fervently. “My father wouldn’t listen when I said I didn’t want to, but he and your father were so committed to the idea.”
“If only they could see.”
Elena watched him for a second, folding her napkin on the table. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
A wave of guilt crashed over him, even though he knew Elena wouldn’t be upset by it. He didn’t reply immediately and Elena fiddled with her fork.
“Whoever you’re always texting,” she said. “I’ve seen you smile whenever you get a new one. You didn’t smile like that at me. It’s alright. It’s better to have someone you care about than someone you’re forced into marriage with.” She laughed lightly, and for the first time, Arthur thought he may have underestimated her.
“You’re smarter than I gave you credit for.”
“A lot of people say that.” Elena smiled and then paused. “Do you think we’ve ruined the merger?”
“I hope not.” Arthur sighed, thinking of Uther’s disgruntled expression every time they passed each other in the halls, of Morgana flouncing around as though she owned the place.
“They’re adults,” Elena said, trying to sound hopeful. “They should understand, right?”
Arthur wasn’t so sure about that, but at least one thing had been settled, a weight lifted off his chest: there would be no wedding.
*
Arthur sighed as the call went to voicemail again.
“Hello, you’ve reached Merlin! I’m not here so leave a message and maybe I’ll ring you back.”
Merlin couldn’t possibly be avoiding him this much.
“Sir,” came a voice from the doorway to the office, and Arthur looked up to see Gwen hovering there. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. Gwen, you can ask me anything.” He gestured for her to come in and she did, closing the door carefully behind her. She paused a moment, ringing her hands together slightly.
“I’ve been hearing some… things,” she said slowly, “about the company. Mr. Pendragon has been setting up an office for Morgana. He’s said I’m to be her new assistant.”
Arthur’s mouth dropped slightly. He couldn’t believe Uther would stoop so low as to take his assistant away from him.
“Morgana requested me apparently,” Gwen went on, and things started to click. Morgana had requested Gwen.
He had been thinking about his conversation with Uther for days now, and it had come to him that Uther had called Merlin a poor, card-playing boy. How had he known what Merlin did? How had he even known about Merlin? The only people who did were Gwen and Morgana, who had, in some respects, introduced them. And now Morgana was stealing away his assistant and even his position in the company.
He had known she wasn’t happy with Uther, but when had that become a vendetta against him as well? And what did she have to gain by coming into the company?
Having no answers to those questions, Arthur had been left to watch and wait, hoping something new would come to light.
“If it’s all the same to you,” Gwen went on, dropping her hands and smoothing down her skirt. “If you do leave the company, I would be happy to come with you.”
Her show of loyalty touched him in a way he hadn’t expected, and he smiled for a second.
“Gwen, that is so wonderful of you, but I’m afraid it won’t be necessary. I want you to be Morgana’s assistant.”
Gwen stared, clearly taken aback as his response. “I’m sorry?”
Arthur stood from his chair and rounded the desk, lowering his voice as he spoke. “Something is going on with Morgana and I need to find out what. If you voluntarily leave me for her, she will trust you.”
Gwen gazed at him for a long moment before she nodded. “I will do my best.”
“You always do.”
She headed for the door, pausing as she reached for the handle. “Merlin’s very lucky,” she said, leaving before Arthur could do more than open his mouth in surprise.
He didn’t go after her to ask what she meant by that. Of course Merlin had probably told her everything. He supposed he hadn’t given her enough credit either.
*
As lucky as Gwen may have thought Merlin was, Merlin didn’t seem to agree by the way he still hadn’t responded to a single call or text in the last week. Could he really hate Arthur that much? The thought worried Arthur, and it was all he could do to stop himself from doing something ridiculously stupid such as going to Merlin’s flat and blasting a cheesy eighties song through his iPod speakers.
It was Tuesday when Uther stopped by his office. So far, Arthur had stopped doing most of his work, especially since Uther had started funneling it all over to Morgana. Morgana had stopped by only once to give him a smirk and ask how his work was going.
Arthur had wanted to slap the smile right off her face, but he’d merely returned the look and shut her out of his office.
He missed Gwen. It had only been a few days, but he had never realized how difficult it was to get his own tea in the mornings.
The knock on the door startled him out of his staring competition with his mobile, willing it to ring with Merlin on the other end.
“Come in,” he said, sitting back in his chair, but he stood up as Uther stepped inside.
For a moment, Uther didn’t meet his eyes, glancing around the room.
Arthur couldn’t fathom why he was here except to deliver the final blow and tell him to pack up his office for good. He had never thought his father would do such a thing, but being cut-off wasn’t something unheard of in their world. Arthur had just never expected it to happen to him, especially since he had always followed Uther’s every wish.
Finally, Uther cleared his throat. “Arthur, the merger takes place next month.”
Arthur frowned slightly.
“I expect you to be at the forefront of the project. No excuses.”
This only made Arthur more confused. “I don’t understand.”
Uther huffed out a sigh, raising his chin slightly. “Perhaps I was a bit too harsh on you,” he said, as though the words pained him to say. Arthur wasn’t sure he had ever heard Uther admit he was wrong. “You are still young and Godwyn assures me that despite the hiccup, the merger will go through. You and Elena are no longer engaged.”
For a moment, Arthur could do nothing more than stare at Uther and his inability to meet his gaze again.
“That’s-I mean, thank you, Father. I appreciate that.”
“Yes, well.” Uther clasped his hands behind his back.
“What about Morgana?” Arthur asked. Last he had heard, she had been put in charge of the companies finances.
Uther seemed to avoid Arthur’s gaze even more fervently now.
“It’s come to light that she and Cenred had plans I wasn’t aware of.”
“Plans?”
“She contacted Godwyn with a scheme to oust me from the company. Her assistant found emails detailing their plan, and Godwyn confirmed. Needless to say, I don’t think Morgana will be involved with the Pendragon Corporation any time soon.”
Arthur worked hard not to grin at Gwen’s accomplishment or the fact that Morgana hadn’t gotten her way.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Father,” he said instead, and Uther shot him a look as though he knew what Arthur was thinking.
“Don’t think you’ve gotten out of this so easily,” Uther warned him. “You’ve still ruined an entire wedding. I expect you to be completely happy with this Merlin boy considering how much you were willing to give up for him.”
Arthur forced a smile, thinking of how Merlin hadn’t called him back in weeks.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Uther said, drawing himself up and looking uncomfortable again at the sudden influx of emotions into the conversation. “Your assistant will be back with you this afternoon.”
Arthur really did smile this time. Uther glanced at him one last time before turning and leaving without another word.
Now if only he could get Merlin to forgive him. Then maybe things would be okay.
*
Arthur didn’t know what he was doing. In a million years, he never thought he would be one of those people showing up on other people’s doorsteps with flowers and an apology in hand, but Merlin still hadn’t returned a text or call, and he was desperate. He had to tell Merlin what had happened, explain how he really felt, and somehow gain his forgiveness for how he had acted.
Knocking on the flat door, he stood back, nerves creeping through him. He held the flowers tightly behind his back, hoping Merlin wouldn’t find it cheesy or stupid.
The door remained shut so long that Arthur almost gave up. Clearly Merlin didn’t want to see him. Maybe he was just wasting his time, but he couldn’t leave without at least hearing it from Merlin’s mouth.
At long last, the door cracked open and Merlin appeared, hair mussed and blinking himself awake.
“Arthur?” he asked, rubbing his face and yawning as he opened the door wider to reveal that he was wearing only a thin pair of pajama pants and nothing else.
It was barely six in the afternoon, and Merlin was asleep. Arthur wasn’t sure what that meant, so he held out the flowers from behind his back, watching Merlin blink confusedly.
“Not exactly from thin air, but I gave it a try.”
Merlin’s eyes moved from the flowers to Arthur’s face slowly. He stared for a second before jerking, glancing down at his clothes as Arthur’s gaze flicked down to his chest.
“Oh! I was just taking a nap. Do you want to come in?”
Arthur followed Merlin into the flat, shutting the door. Nothing had changed since the last time he’d been there. Unsure, he set the flowers down on the countertop and turned to Merlin.
“Sorry about the mess,” Merlin said quickly, grabbing a few shirts off the floor and tossing them into the bedroom. “I haven’t really had time to clean since I got back.”
“Got back?” Arthur didn’t know why Merlin was acting nervous when he was the one there to apologize, to admit that he’d been a real prat.
Merlin scrubbed a hand through his hair, making him look even more adorable, if that was possible. Arthur felt his heart throb stupidly. How could one person make him feel this dumb and happy all at the same time?
“I had to go to Rome for a couple weeks for my thesis. Last-minute trip. I just got back.”
“You just got back,” Arthur repeated, and Merlin smiled slightly.
“Are you just repeating everything I’m saying?”
Arthur shook his head sharply. “No. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Why are you here? I thought we agreed not to see each other anymore.” The smile vanished from Merlin’s face and he looked sad again. Arthur hated it, hated how his heart contracted at the sight. “It isn’t as if anything has changed.”
“I’m not engaged anymore,” Arthur said simply, watching Merlin’s face, the flash of confusion.
“Y-you’re not?”
“We called it off, me and Elena. I almost got booted out of the company. And all because I met a goofy magician that I can never stop thinking about.”
Merlin didn’t reply immediately, looking as though he was thinking fast. In the corner of the living room, Clyde thumped his cage loudly.
“You’re not having me on?” he asked finally, and Arthur took a step towards him.
“I swear I’m not. My father even gave us his blessing, sort of.”
Merlin looked as if he didn’t believe that from the eyebrow raise he shot Arthur.
“You are having me on,” he said again, but a tiny smile formed at the corner of his mouth.
“I’m not,” Arthur insisted, reaching for Merlin and sliding his arms around his waist despite Merlin’s skeptically arched eyebrow. “I am telling the one hundred percent truth. You can ask Gwen.”
“I’m not gonna ask Gwen,” he said, rolling his eyes, but he didn’t pull away from Arthur’s grip. Instead, he raised a hand to Arthur’s shoulder, resting it there and letting his eyes scan Arthur’s face and jaw, down to his neck and chest.
Arthur pulled Merlin’s chin up to face him. “I know I can be stubborn sometimes and I don’t always follow my own heart when it comes to business and my father, but you came along at exactly the wrong time and put wrench in all my plans, and I came by to tell you thank you.”
“You did?” Merlin asked, still sounding skeptical, but his voice softened as Arthur’s thumb brushed down his jaw.
“If I hadn’t met you, I’d still be engaged, and I’d spend the rest of my life wishing I had met someone who made me want to change that. How did you do that?”
“Magic,” Merlin replied simply, smiling now. “I used magic.”
“I bet you did.” Arthur grinned, and he kissed Merlin before they could waste any more time bantering.
Merlin’s arms twined around his neck, pulling him in closer, and he felt Merlin’s smile against his lips in between kisses.
“The flowers were a nice touch,” Merlin murmured when they parted for a moment, and Arthur smiled.
“It was the best I could do without knowing your tricks.”
Merlin chuckled, pressing his mouth to Arthur’s jaw, teeth grazing along the skin. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you all my tricks.”
Arthur groaned, pulling Merlin’s mouth to his and backing him into the bedroom.
“You definitely will,” he said as Merlin fell onto the bed and grinned up at him.
As he stripped off his shirt, Arthur knew that he had made the right decision. Even if marriage wouldn’t be there to strengthen the company, the merger would go through. Morgana would slink back to her home with Cenred to plot something else, and Arthur would have Merlin by his side to see it all through.
*
FIN.