Karaoke night
Couldn't get into it tonight. Can't seem to fight this sinking feeling inside me. Sang well late into it....first song I killed but the second I did well. Crystal came up to me asking about Jeff and Miss V. She seems to think that the fact that the two of them are nearly inseperable at karaoke means that they're into each other. She said there's no way they could just be friends. I told her to believe it, cause they are just really good friends. Then , towards the end of the night, there was an incident with Jeff not wanting to stand up. It was funny, but I felt bad as I laughed my ass off. Nagging at my brain. I think I might just end up pissing Jamie off with this whole Wyatt thing. I just wish I could shake it. Went to the park today with J and Jeff and Jocy. Had a blast. It was really neat. Beautiful day out. I got a message from my horoscope that Mercury is in retrograde. And to expect a person from my past to show (it said friend, or lover)before the 30th. I wish. My head hurts. My heart hurts. I want to slip into the dreamworld and disappear. I want to at least see him. find out how he is, but I have no idea where to begin.The dreamworld is the only place where I am truly free. Felt like an outsider tonight. Jeff and Miss V were in the corner, talking, and Jason was doing his social thing. My head kept on hurting. Not bad, just an odd, pulsing kinda pain.Feeling alone. Self pity. Not a good thing. Tummy turning, too. Ate some crackers...(big diet nono) It's not a sick kind of turning, just a something is coming kind of turning. Nothing feels right. Change is coming. I'm not sure if I like it. Got a spell to cast on the 19th....hopefully will help the situation. New moon. I prefer the full moon, but missed it. Plus, this type of spell is done better during the new moon. My fantasies have gotten less raunchy and more of the soft, romantic but not gag me kind of things. Like just the sight of a soft, passionate, yet not engulfing kiss. I see light. Must be going. Love eludes me. Ciao.