damn server
Had an entry set and I got booted...so it never went up....wrote for the other journal, and it didn't go through. Okay...so here it goes...again.
Have been in a solitude of sorts...avoiding contact with people.Been watching reruns of Angel on TNT...the kid playing Angel's son is adorable. Beautiful eyes. Every day at 5pm. Then I sleep, go to work, sleep, get Jocy.....avoid contact.Feel myself slipping into a void. Obsessions have gone by......sort of. For some reason, Wyatt remains in my mind. Something for my mind to wrap around itself and stay safe. I wish for the darkness. The moon is beautiful. A dark light. Bring me someone like him. I ask this of the powers. I cannot ask for him. He is blessedly taken. So I search for him in my memory. Even David has no hold compared to that distant, far away, memory. I sink. I want to scream. I want to bleed. I want to feel. I want a kiss. That wonderful quiet. I want to cry. So empty when I have so much. So alone when I have so many. Make me into something I'm not. Mold me. I feel different, but yet I am average. Free my soul. Free my heart. I feel other's pain but my own eludes me. I feel too much yet not enough.Break this cycle. I feel high and then so low I can't see it again. Why can't life just settle and let me be happy? I haven't really been content since Cary. I miss him. He was real to me. Too bad I didn't notice until he was gone. .....Ciao.
Have been in a solitude of sorts...avoiding contact with people.Been watching reruns of Angel on TNT...the kid playing Angel's son is adorable. Beautiful eyes. Every day at 5pm. Then I sleep, go to work, sleep, get Jocy.....avoid contact.Feel myself slipping into a void. Obsessions have gone by......sort of. For some reason, Wyatt remains in my mind. Something for my mind to wrap around itself and stay safe. I wish for the darkness. The moon is beautiful. A dark light. Bring me someone like him. I ask this of the powers. I cannot ask for him. He is blessedly taken. So I search for him in my memory. Even David has no hold compared to that distant, far away, memory. I sink. I want to scream. I want to bleed. I want to feel. I want a kiss. That wonderful quiet. I want to cry. So empty when I have so much. So alone when I have so many. Make me into something I'm not. Mold me. I feel different, but yet I am average. Free my soul. Free my heart. I feel other's pain but my own eludes me. I feel too much yet not enough.Break this cycle. I feel high and then so low I can't see it again. Why can't life just settle and let me be happy? I haven't really been content since Cary. I miss him. He was real to me. Too bad I didn't notice until he was gone. .....Ciao.