Duty or Loyalty - Prologue Part 1
Title: Duty or Loyalty - Prologue Part 1
Author: silmanumenel
Disclaimer: Nothing in here belongs to me, all is property of CBS. I’m also not making any money with this, I don't think anybody would pay me.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None here, will eventually be Danny/Steve
Warnings:Vague allusions to violence.
Word Count: 1.880
Summary: Danny's life is not what you would call normal, and growing up is not exactly easy when half of your family belongs to the mafia. Or: The AU in which Danny is still Danny, but most of his family is on the other side of the law.
Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my little trial run, saying that they'd be interested in reading more. It gave me the kick to start posting now, even if I'm nowhere near finished with the story. I'll just have to see how it goes. You'll know the first few paragraphs already, but everything else is new.
Danny is five years old when he sees his first dead body. Which, no, is not completely right, he’s five years old when he sees a man become a corpse for the first time, but he knows neither of that at the time.
He is visiting his Uncle Salvatore which he is really proud of because he was allowed to come all by himself, even if his mom somehow wasn’t all that happy about it. Danny doesn’t really understand why they don’t see Uncle Salvatore and Aunt Rosalia and his cousins more often, he likes them all a lot and Uncle Salvatore’s house is so cool because it has lots of rooms with many interesting things in them and it’s great to play hide-and-seek in it.
He overheard his mom and dad talking once which he knows he’s not supposed to do, but Debbie wanted him to play with her dolls and Matty was boring because he was still a baby and didn’t do anything fun, so Danny went downstairs and the door to the living room was open. And his mom said that she was afraid sometimes, and that sometimes she hated belonging to - and here she said a few words Danny didn’t know, it sounded a bit like cause a nose tray which didn’t make sense. He wanted to go in and tell his mom he’d protect her, but then he’d have gotten scolded for listening in, so he just returned upstairs where Debbie was still pouting because he wouldn’t play with her stupid dolls.
But then Mom got a phone call yesterday, and when she was finished she told him that Uncle Salvatore really would like to see his favorite nephew, so now he’s here. He got to see the horses already and was allowed to play with the litter of kittens that lived in a corner of the stables, but then his uncle had to go do something and sat Danny down in the library with some books and told him to wait. Which was so boring that Danny decided he’d much rather explore the house some more. He was sure no one would mind.
And so this was how he ended up here, walking into the room where two men he doesn’t know did something that made another man fall to the floor and bleed. Danny stepped into a glass bottle once and he remembers that he cut his foot and there was a lot of blood, but this is much more. He’s not really sure what’s going on, he only knows that they will need lots of band aids for the man, but before he can decide what to do, his uncle is standing behind him, scooping him up and carrying him back to the library, scolding him all the way for not behaving and running off. Danny knows it wasn’t right, his mom told him often enough to mind his uncle, so he apologizes and is quite happy when Uncle Salvatore doesn’t seem to be too angry.
When they return to the library, he asks about the man, and Uncle Salvatore is really nice, and doesn’t treat him like a little kid at all. He explains that the man did something bad and needed to be punished which Danny understands because when he gave all of Debbie’s dolls a haircut once he was punished, too.
Danny says as much to his uncle, and also tells him that he wants to be a policeman when he’s grown up so that he can punish bad men as well, but Uncle Salvatore only laughs at that which confuses Danny a bit.
---
Danny is ten when his mom sits him down and tells him about her family, the family he belongs to as well. He knows what the mafia is, they talked about it once at school after the dad of one of his classmates had been killed in a mob shooting, but Danny really can’t connect his uncle to the image of the gun-carrying gangster his teacher painted. It doesn’t fit, not at all.
Uncle Salvatore is his most favorite uncle ever, even if he still doesn’t see him all that often. He taught Danny how to ride and how to play football - Danny likes baseball better, but Uncle Salvo said every man should know how to throw and catch a football, and Danny’s better at it than Mario who’s four years older than him, so there’s that - he showed Danny how to build a tree house, and he always listens to Danny and takes him seriously. Not that his parents don’t listen to him, it’s just that it’s difficult sometimes. His dad works a lot, even more since he got promoted to fire officer, and Tessa is only one, and at four years old Shannon needs a lot of attention - Mom called it the defiant phase, but Danny likes to think of it as the kicking-and-screaming-if-I-don’t-get-my-way phase - and Matty is a nuisance anyway - Danny still firmly believes they should’ve left him handcuffed to the monkey cage last year. He gets along best with Debbie at the moment, even though she still hasn’t given up trying to get him to play Barbies with her. Maybe it’s because she’s only one and a half years younger than him. But with all of that his mom’s always got a lot to do as well and Danny doesn’t want to bother her so much. He takes his responsibility as the oldest very seriously.
But when he’s at the house, it’s different. His uncle always has time for him, and Danny usually visits by himself which makes him feel special in a way. He likes it when Uncle Salvo says he’s his favorite nephew. So Danny has a hard time imagining him as a criminal, as an evil man whose only goal is to hurt people, as his teacher said.
And if Uncle Salvatore belongs to the mafia, then that would mean Aunt Rosalia and his cousins do too, right? Because they learnt that the mafia is all about family, and that every family member is a part of it, and that just can’t be right. Aunt Rosalia bakes the best chocolate cake in the whole world, and she likes to paint and make music and always knits him socks for the winter, and Danny gets along great with his cousins. He even likes playing with the littlest one, Aletta, although she’s only three.
Danny tells all of that to his mom, starts yelling because he doesn’t want to believe it, is scared of what might happen now, and then feels very bad when he sees his mom flinch and look away. She hugs him tight then, says that she’d never lie to him and that it’s the truth, and then holds him while he cries.
When he’s finished, Danny asks her if that means that he’ll have to be in the mafia, too, because he’s sure he wouldn’t like that, he still wants to become a cop. Or if it means that they are all evil, as his teacher said, and he can’t see them anymore. His mom has tears in her eyes as she listens to him, and then tells him that he can become anything he likes, that no one is going to force him to do anything, not even Uncle Salvatore.
And she says that they’re not evil, that family is so much more complicated than to be pressed into such categories as good and bad, and that you can dislike what someone does, but still love the person. Danny doesn’t understand all of it, but he is reassured enough that Uncle Salvo is still Uncle Salvo. Maybe his teacher was wrong.
---
Shortly after he turns sixteen Danny finally learns the whole story. His mom takes him on a drive along the coast, they stop for lunch at a small beachside café and then, as they’re walking over the dark and close-packed sand near the waterline, watching the waves roll in, she starts to talk. She tells him about growing up in a family that was still more Italian than American despite the fact that both her parents had been born in the US, about how her grandfather insisted she only speak Italian with him and call him ‘Signore’, remarking that he might very well have been the model for the Godfather with a small chuckle. Then her voice goes quiet as she describes the scandal she caused when she brought home Sean Williams for the first time, someone completely outside their circle and an Irishman to boot, and how hard she had to fight until the family accepted him and she was allowed to marry him. Danny moves closer to her unconsciously, taking her arm and leaning against her slightly in an effort to comfort her, and she smiles at him before pressing a kiss to his temple.
She continues after a few minutes of silence, talking about her struggles to put distance between herself and her family’s dealings, about her feelings of guilt over what they did while still loving all of them fiercely, and about how much it cost her to finally sever all ties to the ‘business’, to not be involved in it at all. With a look that sends shivers down Danny’s spine she confides that things could have turned out much worse if it hadn’t been for her one saving grace: that Salvatore Macaluso, who was by then the family’s head in all but name, idolized his little sister and loved her more than anyone else which meant that he would always do everything in his power to make her happy.
Later that evening, after they’ve returned home and Danny has retreated to his room, he can’t help thinking that it’s more than ironic that his mom’s luck - if you can call it that - now translates to him as well because despite everything, despite what he knows, has known since he was ten, he still gets along great with his uncle, better even than his cousin Mario who is twenty now and always seems to be fighting with his father.
More often than not Danny feels conflicted about that, about his still unbroken affection for his uncle, sometimes he’s even downright sick of himself. He wants to be a cop. Should he not do something? Bring his whole criminal family - and that’s what they are, it’s the harsh truth - to justice somehow? He isn’t aware of a lot of the particulars regarding Uncle Salvatore’s dealings, but it’s enough that he could do some serious damage. But whenever he just thinks about it, his stomach twists up in knots. And not because he’s afraid that there’d be retribution, which there certainly would be and it would not be pretty, but because the idea of doing that to his uncle, his aunt, to Aletta who’s become his fourth little sister, is simply unbearable.
And Danny finally understands what his mom meant six years ago. Family can’t be seen in simple black and white, the lines between love, loyalty, and what is supposed to be ‘right’ are much too blurred and indistinct as to make any clear-cut decision possible, and Danny resigns himself to the fact that there will likely always be two sides warring within him.
TBC
Prologue Part 2
Author: silmanumenel
Disclaimer: Nothing in here belongs to me, all is property of CBS. I’m also not making any money with this, I don't think anybody would pay me.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None here, will eventually be Danny/Steve
Warnings:Vague allusions to violence.
Word Count: 1.880
Summary: Danny's life is not what you would call normal, and growing up is not exactly easy when half of your family belongs to the mafia. Or: The AU in which Danny is still Danny, but most of his family is on the other side of the law.
Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my little trial run, saying that they'd be interested in reading more. It gave me the kick to start posting now, even if I'm nowhere near finished with the story. I'll just have to see how it goes. You'll know the first few paragraphs already, but everything else is new.
Danny is five years old when he sees his first dead body. Which, no, is not completely right, he’s five years old when he sees a man become a corpse for the first time, but he knows neither of that at the time.
He is visiting his Uncle Salvatore which he is really proud of because he was allowed to come all by himself, even if his mom somehow wasn’t all that happy about it. Danny doesn’t really understand why they don’t see Uncle Salvatore and Aunt Rosalia and his cousins more often, he likes them all a lot and Uncle Salvatore’s house is so cool because it has lots of rooms with many interesting things in them and it’s great to play hide-and-seek in it.
He overheard his mom and dad talking once which he knows he’s not supposed to do, but Debbie wanted him to play with her dolls and Matty was boring because he was still a baby and didn’t do anything fun, so Danny went downstairs and the door to the living room was open. And his mom said that she was afraid sometimes, and that sometimes she hated belonging to - and here she said a few words Danny didn’t know, it sounded a bit like cause a nose tray which didn’t make sense. He wanted to go in and tell his mom he’d protect her, but then he’d have gotten scolded for listening in, so he just returned upstairs where Debbie was still pouting because he wouldn’t play with her stupid dolls.
But then Mom got a phone call yesterday, and when she was finished she told him that Uncle Salvatore really would like to see his favorite nephew, so now he’s here. He got to see the horses already and was allowed to play with the litter of kittens that lived in a corner of the stables, but then his uncle had to go do something and sat Danny down in the library with some books and told him to wait. Which was so boring that Danny decided he’d much rather explore the house some more. He was sure no one would mind.
And so this was how he ended up here, walking into the room where two men he doesn’t know did something that made another man fall to the floor and bleed. Danny stepped into a glass bottle once and he remembers that he cut his foot and there was a lot of blood, but this is much more. He’s not really sure what’s going on, he only knows that they will need lots of band aids for the man, but before he can decide what to do, his uncle is standing behind him, scooping him up and carrying him back to the library, scolding him all the way for not behaving and running off. Danny knows it wasn’t right, his mom told him often enough to mind his uncle, so he apologizes and is quite happy when Uncle Salvatore doesn’t seem to be too angry.
When they return to the library, he asks about the man, and Uncle Salvatore is really nice, and doesn’t treat him like a little kid at all. He explains that the man did something bad and needed to be punished which Danny understands because when he gave all of Debbie’s dolls a haircut once he was punished, too.
Danny says as much to his uncle, and also tells him that he wants to be a policeman when he’s grown up so that he can punish bad men as well, but Uncle Salvatore only laughs at that which confuses Danny a bit.
---
Danny is ten when his mom sits him down and tells him about her family, the family he belongs to as well. He knows what the mafia is, they talked about it once at school after the dad of one of his classmates had been killed in a mob shooting, but Danny really can’t connect his uncle to the image of the gun-carrying gangster his teacher painted. It doesn’t fit, not at all.
Uncle Salvatore is his most favorite uncle ever, even if he still doesn’t see him all that often. He taught Danny how to ride and how to play football - Danny likes baseball better, but Uncle Salvo said every man should know how to throw and catch a football, and Danny’s better at it than Mario who’s four years older than him, so there’s that - he showed Danny how to build a tree house, and he always listens to Danny and takes him seriously. Not that his parents don’t listen to him, it’s just that it’s difficult sometimes. His dad works a lot, even more since he got promoted to fire officer, and Tessa is only one, and at four years old Shannon needs a lot of attention - Mom called it the defiant phase, but Danny likes to think of it as the kicking-and-screaming-if-I-don’t-get-my-way phase - and Matty is a nuisance anyway - Danny still firmly believes they should’ve left him handcuffed to the monkey cage last year. He gets along best with Debbie at the moment, even though she still hasn’t given up trying to get him to play Barbies with her. Maybe it’s because she’s only one and a half years younger than him. But with all of that his mom’s always got a lot to do as well and Danny doesn’t want to bother her so much. He takes his responsibility as the oldest very seriously.
But when he’s at the house, it’s different. His uncle always has time for him, and Danny usually visits by himself which makes him feel special in a way. He likes it when Uncle Salvo says he’s his favorite nephew. So Danny has a hard time imagining him as a criminal, as an evil man whose only goal is to hurt people, as his teacher said.
And if Uncle Salvatore belongs to the mafia, then that would mean Aunt Rosalia and his cousins do too, right? Because they learnt that the mafia is all about family, and that every family member is a part of it, and that just can’t be right. Aunt Rosalia bakes the best chocolate cake in the whole world, and she likes to paint and make music and always knits him socks for the winter, and Danny gets along great with his cousins. He even likes playing with the littlest one, Aletta, although she’s only three.
Danny tells all of that to his mom, starts yelling because he doesn’t want to believe it, is scared of what might happen now, and then feels very bad when he sees his mom flinch and look away. She hugs him tight then, says that she’d never lie to him and that it’s the truth, and then holds him while he cries.
When he’s finished, Danny asks her if that means that he’ll have to be in the mafia, too, because he’s sure he wouldn’t like that, he still wants to become a cop. Or if it means that they are all evil, as his teacher said, and he can’t see them anymore. His mom has tears in her eyes as she listens to him, and then tells him that he can become anything he likes, that no one is going to force him to do anything, not even Uncle Salvatore.
And she says that they’re not evil, that family is so much more complicated than to be pressed into such categories as good and bad, and that you can dislike what someone does, but still love the person. Danny doesn’t understand all of it, but he is reassured enough that Uncle Salvo is still Uncle Salvo. Maybe his teacher was wrong.
---
Shortly after he turns sixteen Danny finally learns the whole story. His mom takes him on a drive along the coast, they stop for lunch at a small beachside café and then, as they’re walking over the dark and close-packed sand near the waterline, watching the waves roll in, she starts to talk. She tells him about growing up in a family that was still more Italian than American despite the fact that both her parents had been born in the US, about how her grandfather insisted she only speak Italian with him and call him ‘Signore’, remarking that he might very well have been the model for the Godfather with a small chuckle. Then her voice goes quiet as she describes the scandal she caused when she brought home Sean Williams for the first time, someone completely outside their circle and an Irishman to boot, and how hard she had to fight until the family accepted him and she was allowed to marry him. Danny moves closer to her unconsciously, taking her arm and leaning against her slightly in an effort to comfort her, and she smiles at him before pressing a kiss to his temple.
She continues after a few minutes of silence, talking about her struggles to put distance between herself and her family’s dealings, about her feelings of guilt over what they did while still loving all of them fiercely, and about how much it cost her to finally sever all ties to the ‘business’, to not be involved in it at all. With a look that sends shivers down Danny’s spine she confides that things could have turned out much worse if it hadn’t been for her one saving grace: that Salvatore Macaluso, who was by then the family’s head in all but name, idolized his little sister and loved her more than anyone else which meant that he would always do everything in his power to make her happy.
Later that evening, after they’ve returned home and Danny has retreated to his room, he can’t help thinking that it’s more than ironic that his mom’s luck - if you can call it that - now translates to him as well because despite everything, despite what he knows, has known since he was ten, he still gets along great with his uncle, better even than his cousin Mario who is twenty now and always seems to be fighting with his father.
More often than not Danny feels conflicted about that, about his still unbroken affection for his uncle, sometimes he’s even downright sick of himself. He wants to be a cop. Should he not do something? Bring his whole criminal family - and that’s what they are, it’s the harsh truth - to justice somehow? He isn’t aware of a lot of the particulars regarding Uncle Salvatore’s dealings, but it’s enough that he could do some serious damage. But whenever he just thinks about it, his stomach twists up in knots. And not because he’s afraid that there’d be retribution, which there certainly would be and it would not be pretty, but because the idea of doing that to his uncle, his aunt, to Aletta who’s become his fourth little sister, is simply unbearable.
And Danny finally understands what his mom meant six years ago. Family can’t be seen in simple black and white, the lines between love, loyalty, and what is supposed to be ‘right’ are much too blurred and indistinct as to make any clear-cut decision possible, and Danny resigns himself to the fact that there will likely always be two sides warring within him.
TBC
Prologue Part 2