So denied
here's to the nights we felt alive
here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
here's to goodbye
tomorrow's gunna come to soon.
Who cares how old this song is? It expresses the deeped, warmest, sadest, most somber emotion in me. It reminds me fo those days that feel like the last day of school, the last day of camp, the last day of anything.
The last day of winter.
A year ago I could have bawled leaving the parking lot. I could bawl now just thinking of it. It ripped my heart out to see the sun shining on that day in March, when I knew it was over. It hurts more to put into retrospect that this year was horrible. I havn't seen Amanda in months, I never had a full day of riding, I wanted to go home. I've NEVER wanted to go home from snowboarding before. I never ran after kids I loved, I never raced people better than me, I never pulled a sweet trick and had people genuinly happy for me. I never knew a family like last year. I am so sad just thinking about that day. God it was one sunny perfect day. Two straight years of everything I adored. I seriously can hardly handle these thoughts.
IF only you could see my friends and the looks on their faces. If you could get inside my head and understand how it feels to find a family if you never had one. Brothers and sisters in people who start to mean more than anything. I don't recall a single day this year worth my time. It was all just a big let down. I kept waiting and waiting. I'm still waiting for that day. Closing day will be worthless. There are no crews this year.
I never woke up late for school from riding too hard too late. I never had a ballsy moment of glory. I never got an injury i was proud of. I never got a piggy back ride. I didn't have a fight with tip-whackers. I didn't get ready at Whitney's and watch it snow on the lake. I didn't freak out over a snow day. I didn't meet new people. I didn't have anyone to miss when I come home. I never had a moment where I laughed so hard I cried. I never felt infinate. I never met a boy in a snowball fight. I never rode a chairlift with Erika and Jessica at the same time and enjoied myself. I never rode with a girl who liked the boy I liked's best friend. I never had those beautiful moments that make you say, "God, life is so amazing." I didn't know any of the ski checkers. I had to obey the rules. What kind of worthless season has this been?
I guess you don't understand how bad it really hurts until it dies inside you. It feels like the last little flame in your heart being blown out by the breeze of a cracked window. I havn't got all too much I'd like to hold onto anymore, and I forgot how tightly I held to this, I guess. I'm not sad that winter's over.
I'm haunted that it never started
I'm gunna be gone for good again.
Rachel
here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
here's to goodbye
tomorrow's gunna come to soon.
Who cares how old this song is? It expresses the deeped, warmest, sadest, most somber emotion in me. It reminds me fo those days that feel like the last day of school, the last day of camp, the last day of anything.
The last day of winter.
A year ago I could have bawled leaving the parking lot. I could bawl now just thinking of it. It ripped my heart out to see the sun shining on that day in March, when I knew it was over. It hurts more to put into retrospect that this year was horrible. I havn't seen Amanda in months, I never had a full day of riding, I wanted to go home. I've NEVER wanted to go home from snowboarding before. I never ran after kids I loved, I never raced people better than me, I never pulled a sweet trick and had people genuinly happy for me. I never knew a family like last year. I am so sad just thinking about that day. God it was one sunny perfect day. Two straight years of everything I adored. I seriously can hardly handle these thoughts.
IF only you could see my friends and the looks on their faces. If you could get inside my head and understand how it feels to find a family if you never had one. Brothers and sisters in people who start to mean more than anything. I don't recall a single day this year worth my time. It was all just a big let down. I kept waiting and waiting. I'm still waiting for that day. Closing day will be worthless. There are no crews this year.
I never woke up late for school from riding too hard too late. I never had a ballsy moment of glory. I never got an injury i was proud of. I never got a piggy back ride. I didn't have a fight with tip-whackers. I didn't get ready at Whitney's and watch it snow on the lake. I didn't freak out over a snow day. I didn't meet new people. I didn't have anyone to miss when I come home. I never had a moment where I laughed so hard I cried. I never felt infinate. I never met a boy in a snowball fight. I never rode a chairlift with Erika and Jessica at the same time and enjoied myself. I never rode with a girl who liked the boy I liked's best friend. I never had those beautiful moments that make you say, "God, life is so amazing." I didn't know any of the ski checkers. I had to obey the rules. What kind of worthless season has this been?
I guess you don't understand how bad it really hurts until it dies inside you. It feels like the last little flame in your heart being blown out by the breeze of a cracked window. I havn't got all too much I'd like to hold onto anymore, and I forgot how tightly I held to this, I guess. I'm not sad that winter's over.
I'm haunted that it never started
I'm gunna be gone for good again.
Rachel