(no subject)
its just.... this is so hard for me. im never single. i have never been fucking single. and it feels so empty. i want someone so bad. i want to like someone.
i miss thinking about them. i find myself thinking who do i daydream about anymore?
i love making food and cookies or just random cards or little gifts or whatever. being creative for the person you love.
and i want to cuddle with someone. feel so extremely close to their skin, feel their warmth.
i have no one, no one to call on a regular basis, someone who cares exclusively for me, because they are my other.
no one is dreaming about me, wishing they were in my arms, wishing i was making them hot chocolate and scratching their backs.
i have no one to come home to.
i love being in my room. i have ladytron playing and all these beautiful good smelling candles lit all over my room... im just in sweats. eating dinner, with my heater on. i feel so content right now, and i want someone next to me. someone who loves me. i want us to make hot drinks and cuddle while we watch a movie on my laptop. then we will wake up at like four in the morning, like i always do, and be like what the fuckwe passed out haha. and then we just adjust and keep sleeping. or we decide to stay awake and have really hot passionate sex. or we will just wait till the morning when we roll over and realize that we have each other.
i want them to know everything about me, understand where im coming from, be honest and open with me, feeling comfortable.
i want to be in love, but i want it with the right person. i dont know if i mean right, just... someone who works. someone it clicks with. it kind of clicks with a few people, maybe if i tried, it would work really great.
but im selfish and fucking lazy. and i want the fucking perfect person i want to appear at my fuckin door, waiting to just let it happen, just fall in love. to just have those crazy jittery feelings, you cant control them, you cant stop tihnking about the other person, all you want to do is text them, write letters to them, watch them sleep. eating together, laughing, crying, running around and going on adventures, whatever. having a kickass time, together.
thats what i long for so bad.
but i guess im willing to wait.
i miss thinking about them. i find myself thinking who do i daydream about anymore?
i love making food and cookies or just random cards or little gifts or whatever. being creative for the person you love.
and i want to cuddle with someone. feel so extremely close to their skin, feel their warmth.
i have no one, no one to call on a regular basis, someone who cares exclusively for me, because they are my other.
no one is dreaming about me, wishing they were in my arms, wishing i was making them hot chocolate and scratching their backs.
i have no one to come home to.
i love being in my room. i have ladytron playing and all these beautiful good smelling candles lit all over my room... im just in sweats. eating dinner, with my heater on. i feel so content right now, and i want someone next to me. someone who loves me. i want us to make hot drinks and cuddle while we watch a movie on my laptop. then we will wake up at like four in the morning, like i always do, and be like what the fuckwe passed out haha. and then we just adjust and keep sleeping. or we decide to stay awake and have really hot passionate sex. or we will just wait till the morning when we roll over and realize that we have each other.
i want them to know everything about me, understand where im coming from, be honest and open with me, feeling comfortable.
i want to be in love, but i want it with the right person. i dont know if i mean right, just... someone who works. someone it clicks with. it kind of clicks with a few people, maybe if i tried, it would work really great.
but im selfish and fucking lazy. and i want the fucking perfect person i want to appear at my fuckin door, waiting to just let it happen, just fall in love. to just have those crazy jittery feelings, you cant control them, you cant stop tihnking about the other person, all you want to do is text them, write letters to them, watch them sleep. eating together, laughing, crying, running around and going on adventures, whatever. having a kickass time, together.
thats what i long for so bad.
but i guess im willing to wait.