junie b jones books teach kids poor grammar
so i have been babysitting these two girls for the last few days because their parents are on vacation. the girls are sweet, VERY energetic and i am, once again, a soccer mom. maybe i should start putting that on my resume: qualified as soccer mom. or a certified soccer mom would be even better. all of this mothering has caused me to think and i honestly can't decide if i ever want kids. part of that is a natural defense i think in case my health problems end up preventing me from becoming pregnant because than i can say "that's ok cuz i didn't want kids anyway." but even if i had kids i don't think i could be a full time mom. the kind that stays home and is super focused on her kids. i have to have a career, outside intelligent stimuli. but then i worry that i would be the workaholic mom that never has time for her kids. and part of me is selfish and wants to travel and read and not have to go to little kid movies or restaurants. and i feel bad sometimes when i think like that because i feel like i should have maternal instincts but honestly i don't feel like those thoughts are natural to me in terms of children. a lot of the feminist authors that i read don't have children and write about how a woman's job isn't to raise children any more than a man's job. they talk about how it should be a woman's choice and that women are overburdened with expectations to work, raise a family, maintain a home and still be a happy subservient person. and even though some people may say that is extreme or that there is nothing wrong with that, it scares me. because i don't want to be the woman constantly struggling to keep the house clean or to drive the kids everywhere or to make ends meet financially or to maintain a healthy relationship. it wears me out just thinking about it. sometimes i feel like there are so many things i want to do but i don't have enough energy to get through life and i hope that somehow i will find the energy and the strength but i am never sure. maybe it's just because i am an anemic vegetarian lol. but it's so hard to appear strong all of the time. to help other people and never really get to sit down and just fall apart. because there is the fear that even though you have helped so many people, no one will help you. if it came down to it, would you do for me what i have done for you? do you even realize what i have done for you?
on a different note, i have been reading god's politics: why the right is wrong and the left doesn't get it and i am enjoying it. i have to spread out the reading because it can be overkill at times, but i like a lot of what jim wallis is saying and even thouwgh i don't agree with all of his political opinions, he is correct in saying that neither the republicans or the democrats are truly supporting religion. the republicans are twisting and contorting god's will to justify their personal agendas. wallis talks about how jesus' biggest concerns were peace and poverty, but those aren't the issues being pursued with the most fervor. instead abortion and homosexuality, issues that are barely mentioned in the bible, are the hot button issues. furthermore the two sides barely differ on their stances. democrats are no longer liberal, more like pansies. and poverty and peace are still huge issues, no one seems to be doing anything to improve them. just because someone prays on a regular basis does not mean that god ordained them to lead the country. and the democrats are just sitting by and watching this happen. maybe if they actually stood up and stated clearly what their issues are and how to fix them, people could take action. i really dislike america more and more as i learn more about the intricate workings of politics. one of the reasons i am excited to go to africa and see the rural areas where democracy (or corrupt government) hasn't taken over yet. because i do not believe that we live in a democracy according to the true definition of the word. instead we live in a society that has created an alternate meaning of democracy. and i am taking a federal government class beginning next week. it will be interesting to see how that goes!
on a different note, i have been reading god's politics: why the right is wrong and the left doesn't get it and i am enjoying it. i have to spread out the reading because it can be overkill at times, but i like a lot of what jim wallis is saying and even thouwgh i don't agree with all of his political opinions, he is correct in saying that neither the republicans or the democrats are truly supporting religion. the republicans are twisting and contorting god's will to justify their personal agendas. wallis talks about how jesus' biggest concerns were peace and poverty, but those aren't the issues being pursued with the most fervor. instead abortion and homosexuality, issues that are barely mentioned in the bible, are the hot button issues. furthermore the two sides barely differ on their stances. democrats are no longer liberal, more like pansies. and poverty and peace are still huge issues, no one seems to be doing anything to improve them. just because someone prays on a regular basis does not mean that god ordained them to lead the country. and the democrats are just sitting by and watching this happen. maybe if they actually stood up and stated clearly what their issues are and how to fix them, people could take action. i really dislike america more and more as i learn more about the intricate workings of politics. one of the reasons i am excited to go to africa and see the rural areas where democracy (or corrupt government) hasn't taken over yet. because i do not believe that we live in a democracy according to the true definition of the word. instead we live in a society that has created an alternate meaning of democracy. and i am taking a federal government class beginning next week. it will be interesting to see how that goes!