(no subject)
It has been quite a while since I have posted so I wanted to update a little bit. The past month has been full of alot of emotions. Most of the time, I am strong and have come to accept the fact that my mom is gone. I still have moments that I miss her so much that it hurts. I see her picture and I get a huge lump in my throat because I want her to be here to I can hug her and tell her that I love her just one more time. What has been the hardest is the dreams I have been having. I guess I should be calling them nightmares. The other night I had a dream and I woke up crying, sobbing so bad that I couldn't even breathe. I wish I could erase what I saw the last week she was alive. I wish more than anything that I could get those flashes of what I saw out of my head. It's so vivid. As soon as 30 days goes by, I will be able to see a doctor..including a head doctor. I really need some sort of grief counseling because I feel like I am losing it sometimes. It's just really hard.
On a lighter note, I started my new job this week. I am going to be in training for 9 weeks, which seems like forever. I am excited though. Once I get it down, I know I will be good. It's just so much information right now. The wedding plans are starting to come together. It's hard to believe we are getting married in a little over 2 months. That is going to be so wonderful. I wish my mom was alive to see Jami and I get married. I know her spirit will be there though.It always is.
On a lighter note, I started my new job this week. I am going to be in training for 9 weeks, which seems like forever. I am excited though. Once I get it down, I know I will be good. It's just so much information right now. The wedding plans are starting to come together. It's hard to believe we are getting married in a little over 2 months. That is going to be so wonderful. I wish my mom was alive to see Jami and I get married. I know her spirit will be there though.It always is.