(no subject)
today i have been lucky enough to find three cockaroaches in my house. the first one i caught in a cup and threw it outside. that roach flew pretty far too. the second one, a late night bathroom discovery, was left to the mercy of my mother who woke up to use the bathroom too and stared at it half asleep as it sat under a cup i used to trap it. the third one was a little treat, especially because i was in mid pee when it started to approach my feet. the human body does not allow one to just shut it off despite whatever may be crawling at your feet.
this is the second time this has happened to me in my entire life. the first time was when i was seven years old and at my fake uncle jorge's house at some event that required me to wear a dress and pantyhose. i was in the bathroom and there was a cockroach on the wall directly in front of me. tried to finish my business quickly but it seemed like an eternity before i could jump off the toilet. if i had been a boy my escape would have been quicker because i wouldnt have to wipe. i remember this because it made my skin crawl underneath my pantyhose.
this third roach i found tonight was just as scared to see me as i was to see it. because as soon as we realized we were in the bathroom together we ran in opposite directions. i tried to wake my dad up but he did his trademark hissing and told me to kill it.
i have this thing with killing bugs, i can't do it. in gainesville everyone else is more scared than i am usually so i put my brave face on and try to catch it in a jar and throw it outside. i don't like killing bugs at all. its bad karma.
the fact that this was the third roach of the night has thrown me into a state of panic. my mom is insanely clean. she has worsened the ozone layer significantly because she excessively wields aerosol antibacterial spray. she takes off her shoes before going into the bathroom. 'son las cosas mas sucias del mundo, andreita!' she leads a fairly sanitary existence. i don't know where these are coming from. there might be some horrible nest sitting behind the toilet or something.
so i did kill it. and it was disgusting and slightly heartwrenching. everything came out of its ass. and then i thought of this and got doubly grossed out. even after squished the shit out of it [literally] it was still half alive when it was flushed down the toilet.
i squirmed as i brushed my teeth, and as went to get a cup of water and as i sit here. bejamincheeverslike whoa.
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oh no she did not just write a whole entry about cockaroaches!!
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i'm going to paraguay. june 10th. hell yes.
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my half my bed is buried under heaps of fabric and thread. remember my floor back in gainesville? imagine that on a twin bed. i want to sleep.