(no subject)
ok i dunno what to do. . . i love micheal but hes gonnabe away for 10 to life and i dunno if i can handle that or if its worth it. . . .i tied to just stop all contact and it worked but i cant help but think of him constantly. . i just want to go see him and talk to him. . . his aunt calls me and tells me he talks about me everytime he talks to her and asks her to bring me up there. . . what am i supposed to do. . . hes married(seperated) with two kids. . .why couldnt i have met him three years ago. . well i guess that would be wierd i would have been 16 n hed been 22 haha kinda gross when u look at it like that. . . .but i still love him and cant stand to think i may be part of the reason he is where he is. . . sometimes i wonder if i had left with him the night he got picked up if id be in there to. . . i know theres alot in his past but i have a feeling alot of what happened while we were together has a big part in this whole thing. . . i want to just go talk to him and hold him but i dont know that ill be able to do that for a while. . . .i need to really figure out if this relationship is worth this heartache. . . is it gonna help lift me up or is it gonna pull me back down? but i owe it to him he is getting a much harder sentence thanks to things i did while we were together. . . .