Age is of no consequence.
Life changes and I need some where with which to vent. Interestingly enough, full circle seemed my best option. Welcome back to livejournal, me. Good things could come of this. Small story of note that I felt like posting for today. Maybe if I get into this blog thing again I will write more.
Months ago (had to be at least 6 of them, considering my daughter is now 7 months old), I hung a sign on my front door. Not only do we have a crazy man neighbor living across the street, but we also have VERY ENTHUSIASTIC door to door sales people in my 'hood. The sign is simple, it states, 'Baby sleeping inside. Be warned, if you wake up my sleeping child, I will chuck used diapers at your face until you get the hell out of my yard. Fo' real bitch. Sincerely, Amanda and Jeff.'
Having a colicy baby is stressful enough, having one constantly being woken up by the annoying crazy man neighbor who cant afford his own cigarettes thus needs to bum yours, AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT, is SUPREMELY annoying. Thus the sign.
This sign has served us well over the insuing months, very well indeed. I havent seen much of the crazy man neighbor, which is a drastic improvement in my day to day life. The two pizza delivery people who come to my house found it vastly entertaining, thus no harm done. Even family members and friends who have come acorss the sign all found it to be hilarious. Win, win.
That is, until this afternoon. When lo and behold, a GIRLSCOUT came to my house to sell cookies. One who can, unfortunately, read. I was sitting on the floor in my livingroom playing with my daughter when all of a sudden I hear in a sweet slightly whimsical voice "Baby sleeping inside..." Bleeding ball sac that was mortifying. So I ran to the door, only to realize my dog needed to be locked up, he gets a little enthustiac and new friends (and a pit bull owner can NEVER be too cautious), so I told her wait a minute, and took care of the pup. Came back, told her I would buy cookies from her tomorrow when I had cash, and realized she was looking down, toward my boobs, staring more like. Another kick in the metaphorical balls came when I realized I was wearing a TEENY TINY tank top, with NO BRA, and had an almost nipple catastrophy on my hands. I think I have officially become the bane of my neighborhood. Seriously. Im pretty sure I scarred that little girlscout for life. FOR LIFE. Poor kid was scared to knock on my door to begin with (the sign), and then got the scare of her life with facing my almost visable areolas. Shit.
Months ago (had to be at least 6 of them, considering my daughter is now 7 months old), I hung a sign on my front door. Not only do we have a crazy man neighbor living across the street, but we also have VERY ENTHUSIASTIC door to door sales people in my 'hood. The sign is simple, it states, 'Baby sleeping inside. Be warned, if you wake up my sleeping child, I will chuck used diapers at your face until you get the hell out of my yard. Fo' real bitch. Sincerely, Amanda and Jeff.'
Having a colicy baby is stressful enough, having one constantly being woken up by the annoying crazy man neighbor who cant afford his own cigarettes thus needs to bum yours, AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT, is SUPREMELY annoying. Thus the sign.
This sign has served us well over the insuing months, very well indeed. I havent seen much of the crazy man neighbor, which is a drastic improvement in my day to day life. The two pizza delivery people who come to my house found it vastly entertaining, thus no harm done. Even family members and friends who have come acorss the sign all found it to be hilarious. Win, win.
That is, until this afternoon. When lo and behold, a GIRLSCOUT came to my house to sell cookies. One who can, unfortunately, read. I was sitting on the floor in my livingroom playing with my daughter when all of a sudden I hear in a sweet slightly whimsical voice "Baby sleeping inside..." Bleeding ball sac that was mortifying. So I ran to the door, only to realize my dog needed to be locked up, he gets a little enthustiac and new friends (and a pit bull owner can NEVER be too cautious), so I told her wait a minute, and took care of the pup. Came back, told her I would buy cookies from her tomorrow when I had cash, and realized she was looking down, toward my boobs, staring more like. Another kick in the metaphorical balls came when I realized I was wearing a TEENY TINY tank top, with NO BRA, and had an almost nipple catastrophy on my hands. I think I have officially become the bane of my neighborhood. Seriously. Im pretty sure I scarred that little girlscout for life. FOR LIFE. Poor kid was scared to knock on my door to begin with (the sign), and then got the scare of her life with facing my almost visable areolas. Shit.