Worst Doctorish Experiences
I was at the doctor's office this morning because I can't breathe and it's a long story so yeah. Anyhow. I'm sitting in the little waiting room all by my paranoid lonesome. The place is CRAWLING with sick germs. I do not want them. All I could think about was how sick these people around me were and how sick they're going to make me. I'm terrible. The little tv in the room was playing a video about health facts. And then some guy changed it and there was some special on television about worst experiences with a doctor.
NO. NO. NO.
I really don't care to hear about how woman A got raped by her gyno, about how Man B got a weird third world disease from his doctor, or anything like that...before I walk into to the little room. I could have shot him. Really.
But this prompted my journal entry. Have you ever had any weird/bad/scary anything doctor's appointments? I've never had a BAD one..like..being raped by a gyno or having a rubber glove left in my stomach or anything (Er. Not that I know of.) But I've had some weird ones.
Weird One:
I had to go to the dermatologist because my mom is paranoid about skin cancer. So they were taking off a mole (on my chest. it was like..a freckle. whatever.) but I was sent to a plastic surgeon (obviously so they could make more money off of my paranoid mother). I was scared out of my MIND because..yeah. I'm a big baby. They gave me Valium (...boy do I love it, too) before I went and I was OUT of it. I was giggling and stumbling all over the place. But when I finally got back there and was laying on the little seat thing, reality hit me and I looked over and saw 265556 sharp silver objects that would soon be digging into my flesh. Ew.
Doctor: "Okay, Natalie, are you ready?"
Natalie: "NOyes."
Doctor: "You won't feel a thing after the fifth or sixth shot. I promise."
Natalie: "FIFTH OR SIXTH? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
He wasn't kidding me.
Weird Two:
I was in a wreck (I wasn't driving and it wasn't my fault. So there.) last May. It was a head on collision thing and I saw the other car coming and I was stupid and pulled my knees up in the seat against my chest with me. Bad move. Because I was sent flying into my knees when we hit. Anyhow. This caused pain etc. When the paramedic people came, they were all concerned about my chest. I was still in the car because I didn't want to crawl out and lay in the (hot) street with the gathering crowd of people. They finally made me get out and they put me on a stretcher. And then WHATDOYOUKNOW a hot hot hot paramedic comes and starts cutting my shirt off...in front of all these people (..family..strangers..old people..PREACHERS) I wanted to cry. And then I looked down and I swear to God my boobs looked like Pamela Anderson's because they were swelling. Hahaha. I don't guess that counts as a doctor's appointment but close enough and it was embarrassing as hell.
I think that's all of my interesting medical-like stories. Anyone else have interesting medical-like stories? Minus Amber's gyno appointment?
..justkidding.
NO. NO. NO.
I really don't care to hear about how woman A got raped by her gyno, about how Man B got a weird third world disease from his doctor, or anything like that...before I walk into to the little room. I could have shot him. Really.
But this prompted my journal entry. Have you ever had any weird/bad/scary anything doctor's appointments? I've never had a BAD one..like..being raped by a gyno or having a rubber glove left in my stomach or anything (Er. Not that I know of.) But I've had some weird ones.
Weird One:
I had to go to the dermatologist because my mom is paranoid about skin cancer. So they were taking off a mole (on my chest. it was like..a freckle. whatever.) but I was sent to a plastic surgeon (obviously so they could make more money off of my paranoid mother). I was scared out of my MIND because..yeah. I'm a big baby. They gave me Valium (...boy do I love it, too) before I went and I was OUT of it. I was giggling and stumbling all over the place. But when I finally got back there and was laying on the little seat thing, reality hit me and I looked over and saw 265556 sharp silver objects that would soon be digging into my flesh. Ew.
Doctor: "Okay, Natalie, are you ready?"
Natalie: "NOyes."
Doctor: "You won't feel a thing after the fifth or sixth shot. I promise."
Natalie: "FIFTH OR SIXTH? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
He wasn't kidding me.
Weird Two:
I was in a wreck (I wasn't driving and it wasn't my fault. So there.) last May. It was a head on collision thing and I saw the other car coming and I was stupid and pulled my knees up in the seat against my chest with me. Bad move. Because I was sent flying into my knees when we hit. Anyhow. This caused pain etc. When the paramedic people came, they were all concerned about my chest. I was still in the car because I didn't want to crawl out and lay in the (hot) street with the gathering crowd of people. They finally made me get out and they put me on a stretcher. And then WHATDOYOUKNOW a hot hot hot paramedic comes and starts cutting my shirt off...in front of all these people (..family..strangers..old people..PREACHERS) I wanted to cry. And then I looked down and I swear to God my boobs looked like Pamela Anderson's because they were swelling. Hahaha. I don't guess that counts as a doctor's appointment but close enough and it was embarrassing as hell.
I think that's all of my interesting medical-like stories. Anyone else have interesting medical-like stories? Minus Amber's gyno appointment?
..justkidding.