well now
Long time no write in my LJ. I go through phases of LJ/Xanga/Myspace...
I'm doing okay... good except for the body image issues. I hate that my appearance is always on my mind 24/7. I don't like feeling so shallow, I'm really not, but I can't stop thinking that I'm ugly/fat. ??? I hate losing and gaining and losing and gaining the same 15-20 pounds over and over again. I don't know what to do. I thought hey, maybe I should just drink coffee today, I obviously need to shrink my stomach. Will that make things better or worse tomorrow? I don't know. I want to go on a road trip and go fishing and ride a horse and skip some rocks in a pond, I want to help people, I want to make a difference in the world, but I can't get past this one freaking hang up that makes me hide away. So what if I have a bump in my nose and have chubby cheeks? I just wish I knew how other people saw me. I have gained a lot of weight since a year and a half ago... it helped when we lived in the country and I could exercise at night time, jogging the circle drive... Josh gets home so late from work these days that I can't find the time to give my all to exercise. I'm sure when my boys get older, it will be easier. But I need to lose the weight NOW.
*sigh*
I'm doing okay... good except for the body image issues. I hate that my appearance is always on my mind 24/7. I don't like feeling so shallow, I'm really not, but I can't stop thinking that I'm ugly/fat. ??? I hate losing and gaining and losing and gaining the same 15-20 pounds over and over again. I don't know what to do. I thought hey, maybe I should just drink coffee today, I obviously need to shrink my stomach. Will that make things better or worse tomorrow? I don't know. I want to go on a road trip and go fishing and ride a horse and skip some rocks in a pond, I want to help people, I want to make a difference in the world, but I can't get past this one freaking hang up that makes me hide away. So what if I have a bump in my nose and have chubby cheeks? I just wish I knew how other people saw me. I have gained a lot of weight since a year and a half ago... it helped when we lived in the country and I could exercise at night time, jogging the circle drive... Josh gets home so late from work these days that I can't find the time to give my all to exercise. I'm sure when my boys get older, it will be easier. But I need to lose the weight NOW.
*sigh*