Depressed, down, bad, horrible, you name it.
Today...well I guess it's yesterday now... was the worst day...and I fear it's leaking into today...First I woke up to a nightmare...approximately 8am. Then Vata woke up, she was cranky...I was tired, had trouble sleeping the nite before as well. I am dead today. any way. Next it was freezing downstares, and yet another day with out a word from the lanlord so we can get our fucking heat turned on. We have to heat our house with one Kerosene heater and a few small electric heaters. I have minor problems and glitches in the day, got electrocuted, blew a circut, lost interent. I lay a still cranky Vata down for a nap, and decide to take one for myself, and I wake up to my roommate, whom I consider a close friend BITCHING about me behind my back, to my Best friend(since the first grade) who just moved in. I faked sleep and listened to him complaining. When he retreats to his room, I escape from teh couch and the day and take a REALLY hot shower. I can't stop thinking about his words all day, he was really mean. I haven't slept now since my one hour nap. Vata will be up soon, so I wont get to sleep until nap time. I tried to goto sleep, but when I got to late, and I new if I fell asleep at that point I wouldn't be up for Vata, so no sleep for me. Not now. Rarely ever. I'm depressed now, for the first time in a while. When I am upset I don't really feel down, cynical, or anything like that, this. here. now. always. is my depression. and I hate how it makes me. Please some one out there, cheer me up, here my call. And now today will be a repeat.