A poem

[sillylins]

Well I wrote a poem last night, the first in a long time. It's still in rough draft form and I don't know why I feel the need to share. But maybe you can see where I'm going with it and see through all the problems to what I'm trying to say. It won't be formatted right but anyways, i'll stop rambling... I'll just say this though, it's about friendships, all of mine. There is something about all of them, especially the ones that I messed up one way or another.

You are too

What is a loss if it doesn't scar deep.
If you don't feel the pain with every breath.
And look in the mirror to see all that you lack.

Sometimes knowing you're not good enough
is all that you can feel.
So you look all around and the world disappears.

You wonder to yourself...
How do I let go when all I know is you?
How do I sotp seeing your smile?
How do I forget the way you made me feel?
How do i say goodbye to the one who noticed me.

It's like you saw me for me.
You saw through to what could be.
You even cared.
But I let go first, I gave in to doubts.

What I thought was real shattered.
You weren't real.
You weren't who I thought you were.
Why did I believe you could be different?
That you were the one to open up my eyes.

Does it hurt more
that you never cared
or that you never saw me?

I believed that I could change.
I wanted so much to believe.
But maybe I knew all along,
that I was a fake, the one that didn't belong.

And now I wonder,
Do I miss you or th eperson I thought you were?
Did I even know you?
I only knew the person you wanted to be.
You're a fake like me.
You see the same thing in the mirror
and feel the same pain.

I'm not the only one all alone,
You are too.