Daycare
Even though Gwen has been wearing underpants exclusively during the day when with Josh and I since Memorial Day, and most of the time for quite a while before that, she has still been wearing cloth diapers at daycare. There was no potty in the daycare room back in May/June, and even when she moved to the room that did have potties, we didn't want to immediately send her in underpants because she was dealing with a big transition (and sure enough, she did regress in like every area for about a month after... Well, regressed on sleep, eating meals, and using the potty anyway).
We got confirmation with the director that if she was getting potty trained at home that we could send her in underpants, just to send lot of changes of clothes. Josh let her teachers know. Last Tuesday we sent her with like 10 changes of clothes, and a cloth diaper for nap time. When I picked her up, she was in the middle of getting cleaned up after a poop accident. She was wearing some other kid's onsie. Ugh. Her sheet indicated 1 pee and 2 poop accidents, plus a wet diaper at naptime. Unpacking her bag though, I found 1 wet pair of underpants and 1 wet diaper. I assumed they had thrown away her poopy underpants. Not pleased about that (tiny underpants are pricy and I'm used to washing poop), but I could imagine lots of parents would prefer that. I wondered about the onsie. Although Gwen only goes Monday/Tuesday, I dropped in on Wednesday to check if I'd missed an alternate bag of clothes. Nope.
Yesterday they reported 1 pee accident, wet diaper at nap, and 2 poop accidents again. And she was wearing cloth diaper when I picked her up. Again there was a missing pair of underpants when I got home, compared with the sheet. Her sheet also said she refused to sit on the potty and noted at a couple different times when she cried when they made her sit on the potty. These were all marked around the middle of the day, after the 1 pee accident, but before the 2 poop accidents.
When I dropped her off today, I asked that they not try to force her onto the potty. I said that she can normally be trusted when she says she doesn't need to go (which has certainly been my experience). After all, they take the kids potty and check their diapers hourly when they are awake, and Gwen normally only actually goes 3 times all day (excluding nap)! They said they'd done it because she had already had "so many" accidents. I double checked when I got home and according to the sheet, "so many" accidents that happened before that was one. One.
When I got home after pick up, her sheet said 2 pee accidents and 1 poop accident, and 1 poop during nap. But there was one diaper in the wet bag. Wet, not poopy. She was wearing a cloth diaper when I picked her up. No underpants in the wet bag. I called to ask if she had another bag of clothes that I somehow missed. Deanna went and checked. She told me that after the first accident, they put her in diapers the rest of the day. Um... that would be a reasonable enough potty training policy, but then way was there not a single pair of underpants in the wet bag? If she didn't have enough diapers to get through the day, and presumably was put in some other child's diapers, why didn't they tell me to bring more diapers? Why did they change her into her very last cloth diaper right before pickup time, after putting her in other kids' diapers all day, like they were hiding something.
So apparently forcing her onto the potty until she cried yesterday happened not only after the large number of one accident, but also when she was diapered for the rest of the day anyway.
And some other kid's onsie when she had plenty of changes of clothes last week? Pretty sure the main purpose of 2T onsies is to prevent kids from removing disposable diapers. So 2 fold reasons we don't own any: cloth diapered so she was never able to get her diapers off, plus when you potty train, generally autonomy undressing is considered desirable. I might be making too many assumptions here, but I'm guessing the onsie was to prevent her from removing the disposable diaper. Because obviously if a newly potty trained kid removes her pants and diaper, she doesn't need a little help getting to the bathroom. No, she needs a onsie over that diaper and for you to tell her parents that she never communicates her need to go potty to you.
I'm really pissed off. I mean, I already knew we didn't totally see eye-to-eye on this early potty training thing, but I feel that they've been lying to us and undermining our parenting. Josh called Deanna back and talked more, and says it was a misunderstanding. I guess that could be, he's the one who did the communication with them about it for the most part, so he's probably in a better position to judge. But it really seems to me like they've been dishonest about it.
Also at pick up today it was snack time and I watched Gwen lick a crushed goldfish off the floor for like 30 seconds before one of the teachers noticed me and said something to her about it. There were 2 teachers and only 6 kids, 5 of whom were sitting at the table eating appropriately. I'm not easily grossed out, clearly since I stood and watched, but that really rubs me the wrong way anyway. Like, most parents would not be cool with that, so why aren't they, like, doing something?
We got confirmation with the director that if she was getting potty trained at home that we could send her in underpants, just to send lot of changes of clothes. Josh let her teachers know. Last Tuesday we sent her with like 10 changes of clothes, and a cloth diaper for nap time. When I picked her up, she was in the middle of getting cleaned up after a poop accident. She was wearing some other kid's onsie. Ugh. Her sheet indicated 1 pee and 2 poop accidents, plus a wet diaper at naptime. Unpacking her bag though, I found 1 wet pair of underpants and 1 wet diaper. I assumed they had thrown away her poopy underpants. Not pleased about that (tiny underpants are pricy and I'm used to washing poop), but I could imagine lots of parents would prefer that. I wondered about the onsie. Although Gwen only goes Monday/Tuesday, I dropped in on Wednesday to check if I'd missed an alternate bag of clothes. Nope.
Yesterday they reported 1 pee accident, wet diaper at nap, and 2 poop accidents again. And she was wearing cloth diaper when I picked her up. Again there was a missing pair of underpants when I got home, compared with the sheet. Her sheet also said she refused to sit on the potty and noted at a couple different times when she cried when they made her sit on the potty. These were all marked around the middle of the day, after the 1 pee accident, but before the 2 poop accidents.
When I dropped her off today, I asked that they not try to force her onto the potty. I said that she can normally be trusted when she says she doesn't need to go (which has certainly been my experience). After all, they take the kids potty and check their diapers hourly when they are awake, and Gwen normally only actually goes 3 times all day (excluding nap)! They said they'd done it because she had already had "so many" accidents. I double checked when I got home and according to the sheet, "so many" accidents that happened before that was one. One.
When I got home after pick up, her sheet said 2 pee accidents and 1 poop accident, and 1 poop during nap. But there was one diaper in the wet bag. Wet, not poopy. She was wearing a cloth diaper when I picked her up. No underpants in the wet bag. I called to ask if she had another bag of clothes that I somehow missed. Deanna went and checked. She told me that after the first accident, they put her in diapers the rest of the day. Um... that would be a reasonable enough potty training policy, but then way was there not a single pair of underpants in the wet bag? If she didn't have enough diapers to get through the day, and presumably was put in some other child's diapers, why didn't they tell me to bring more diapers? Why did they change her into her very last cloth diaper right before pickup time, after putting her in other kids' diapers all day, like they were hiding something.
So apparently forcing her onto the potty until she cried yesterday happened not only after the large number of one accident, but also when she was diapered for the rest of the day anyway.
And some other kid's onsie when she had plenty of changes of clothes last week? Pretty sure the main purpose of 2T onsies is to prevent kids from removing disposable diapers. So 2 fold reasons we don't own any: cloth diapered so she was never able to get her diapers off, plus when you potty train, generally autonomy undressing is considered desirable. I might be making too many assumptions here, but I'm guessing the onsie was to prevent her from removing the disposable diaper. Because obviously if a newly potty trained kid removes her pants and diaper, she doesn't need a little help getting to the bathroom. No, she needs a onsie over that diaper and for you to tell her parents that she never communicates her need to go potty to you.
I'm really pissed off. I mean, I already knew we didn't totally see eye-to-eye on this early potty training thing, but I feel that they've been lying to us and undermining our parenting. Josh called Deanna back and talked more, and says it was a misunderstanding. I guess that could be, he's the one who did the communication with them about it for the most part, so he's probably in a better position to judge. But it really seems to me like they've been dishonest about it.
Also at pick up today it was snack time and I watched Gwen lick a crushed goldfish off the floor for like 30 seconds before one of the teachers noticed me and said something to her about it. There were 2 teachers and only 6 kids, 5 of whom were sitting at the table eating appropriately. I'm not easily grossed out, clearly since I stood and watched, but that really rubs me the wrong way anyway. Like, most parents would not be cool with that, so why aren't they, like, doing something?