i had to see what was out there to understand the value of what is here...
elise told me to download this song, sexy dance, a really long time ago. i havent ever listened to it until now, and its actually pretty good. yeah.
anyways....
before i start, i'd like to dedicate this journal entry to mel. this ones for you... .***BOCA BURGER!!!*** lol okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i went to go see my new house today and we got the key to it. and its really fucking cool because okay the pool is ilke 12 anda half feet deep and i love it. and theres this like secret basement that is like aah its so cool its just such an awesome house and SUCH A PARTY HOUSE...theeres this room with like a bar, and a pool table and its huge and the wall facing the pool and hot tub is all glass, like glass sliding doors and shit and i am gonna have a party when we move in and im hella excited. the people that owned the house gave us this huge bag of fireworks...with bottle rockets and black cats and pickelo petes and its really really fucking cool. 4th of july will be so much fun. shit today i've been so grumpy but o well. i jsut dont want to talk to anyone really. well i do, just not my family ahhah.
shit. well im glad cuz i just made my livejournal really pretty. yeah not much to say, shit is pretty much the same, give or take a few things heheheh. :) well i decided i didnt want to go for alex anymore. now why is that? because he likes me. and its so fucked. but i just i dont know...when the guy actually starts to like you and you dont like him back, then it takes all the fun out of it andddd reminds me of past experiences...cough cough *thanksgiving* cough cough *WILL and other phsychoes like JOEL* lol yeahhhhh anyways. yeah. hey. yeah. lol im soexcited to hang out with maya. and lilah...shes gonna show me this guy and im excited. yea. im realy exited for the fourth of july to! i love hanging out with mel so yeah ij mgonna hang out with her and we're gonna make a bon fire. which is one of the reasons i really need my fucking cd back from trina. imma burn it. because long story...well its Owee and Geoff's cd. and i want to burn it cuz it remidns me of middle school and SPENCER BUTTE......shivers. dont ask. no offense to owee or geoff. yeah. anywayssssssssssss aah. i love bianca...its so wierd how much we have in common but when i talked to her the other day it made me feel like i wasnt alone. thats such a happy feeling!! I dont think the lexapro is working too well....better switch :) eh too lazy but fuck it. Ian was telling me how hes working at this booth in the country fair, "*Get Fried* Rice" lol and the manager of the store literally said this to ian....
mrSTUD9900: exact words "its cool if you and your friends want to go up in the loft and smoke pot, but no more than two friends."
aah and i love the country fair :) he told me if i found him i could come w/him so yea im gonna. and i am not smoking any other day of the summer UNLESS IM IN A HOT TUB..or if its a special occasion. hahah. me and lilah were talkign about how her lungs are fucked and my MEMORY is fuked. so yeah. shit you people really need to go www.ebaumsworld.com and go to the animation or cartoons whatever and go to the DANCING BANANA *PENUT BUTTER AND JELLY TIME* its sooooo cool!!!! hahahah. yeaaa crazy. wow i'vebeen having some fucked up dreams lately. i had one where wes tried to kill me, then i had one where i was caught stealing at bath adn body works but the store was my yard and all these turkeys chased me. OMG and then i had one, where iw as at this house in aspen and wes was there too (i kinda forgot to tell him this but oh well) and we were all in this hot tub and it was so chaotic and me jessica and bianca were sharing a room and like i got mad at them and then sara and ally were in the hot tub with them and they wqere like pissing me off so i went off and smoked ?? and then all of a sudden my mom caught me and jessica took the blame. then all of a sudden wes and his dad pulled up tothe building and the bulding was a strip club. omg and then i remember, i guess it was graduation but it was with my elementary school teachers, and WILL was there. and we were like reading our poems (from the poetry unit we did in 8th grade) and like it was weird and i had to sit by will. and then ella and rachel were there and they're all hes hot did you hook up with him and im like "yeah and suddenly he didnt seem so hot after that" and then it ended. and then i remembered the time when i wanted to call trina that night, the time when we were friends, no, the time when we were good friends. but for once i dont miss that, well in a way i do but i am hapy with my PRESENT, i dont have to be all nostalgic and i dont have to yearn for something i once had...because i DONT. and it makes me happy in a way. yeah i was watching tears of the sun...ONLY THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE EVER...and i wrote this poem and once again, comment if you feel the need. yeah.
*our* universe is not *ours*
it is our own individual universe
each individual reality
each individual mentality
From Horrid daily events in life
a husband rapes and kills his wife
then casually buries her underground
where shes sure never to be found
children with no homes
a child wanders all alone
brutal wars in 3rd world countries
thousands of bodies filled with lead
lethal virus's and diseases spread
invading us all
degrading us all
evaporating us all
decapitating us all
another minute by
another thousand die
but if we dont realize this
then the issue wont dissapear
instead it will spread
faster than a speeding bullet
aimed straight for your head
your precious life will rip
from your hopeless grip
but its not real to you
it would never happen to you
open your fucking eyes
another minute by
another thousand die
the only thought that crosses your mind
is how this happened so fast
why do i care? you ask
how do i know? you ask
I don't
i cant even begin to imagine
but i do know what its like
to mentally die
to have your life evaporate
before your weary eyes
and i know what it is
to run from death
hoping this wont be
your very last breath
and then to find yourself
by yourself
and when the storm ends
you'll find yourself chasing
death itself all over again
and whats happening across the world
can only be ten times worse
because i wont be here with you
i'd be dead in a black herse
if i was lucky
most likely to be burnt alive
shot to death
entire family slaughtered
under rebel house arrest
so the next time you think
you want to die
becuase your parents caught
you getting high
because you cant find love
in the arms of a hot guy
remember this
but i wont remember that
and i dont remember you
you need to revive yourself
becuase you can be erased
you can be replaced
you can be erased
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry guys if that was kinda intense or whatever but yeah inspired by tears of the sun baby. aah war movies are so sad but its so real is what gets to you, yah kno? anyways im outro, peace
oh dude, look at what i learned today hahahah!!
[]D[][]V[][]D lol in case you cant read it says pimp. latas.
anyways....
before i start, i'd like to dedicate this journal entry to mel. this ones for you... .***BOCA BURGER!!!*** lol okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i went to go see my new house today and we got the key to it. and its really fucking cool because okay the pool is ilke 12 anda half feet deep and i love it. and theres this like secret basement that is like aah its so cool its just such an awesome house and SUCH A PARTY HOUSE...theeres this room with like a bar, and a pool table and its huge and the wall facing the pool and hot tub is all glass, like glass sliding doors and shit and i am gonna have a party when we move in and im hella excited. the people that owned the house gave us this huge bag of fireworks...with bottle rockets and black cats and pickelo petes and its really really fucking cool. 4th of july will be so much fun. shit today i've been so grumpy but o well. i jsut dont want to talk to anyone really. well i do, just not my family ahhah.
shit. well im glad cuz i just made my livejournal really pretty. yeah not much to say, shit is pretty much the same, give or take a few things heheheh. :) well i decided i didnt want to go for alex anymore. now why is that? because he likes me. and its so fucked. but i just i dont know...when the guy actually starts to like you and you dont like him back, then it takes all the fun out of it andddd reminds me of past experiences...cough cough *thanksgiving* cough cough *WILL and other phsychoes like JOEL* lol yeahhhhh anyways. yeah. hey. yeah. lol im soexcited to hang out with maya. and lilah...shes gonna show me this guy and im excited. yea. im realy exited for the fourth of july to! i love hanging out with mel so yeah ij mgonna hang out with her and we're gonna make a bon fire. which is one of the reasons i really need my fucking cd back from trina. imma burn it. because long story...well its Owee and Geoff's cd. and i want to burn it cuz it remidns me of middle school and SPENCER BUTTE......shivers. dont ask. no offense to owee or geoff. yeah. anywayssssssssssss aah. i love bianca...its so wierd how much we have in common but when i talked to her the other day it made me feel like i wasnt alone. thats such a happy feeling!! I dont think the lexapro is working too well....better switch :) eh too lazy but fuck it. Ian was telling me how hes working at this booth in the country fair, "*Get Fried* Rice" lol and the manager of the store literally said this to ian....
mrSTUD9900: exact words "its cool if you and your friends want to go up in the loft and smoke pot, but no more than two friends."
aah and i love the country fair :) he told me if i found him i could come w/him so yea im gonna. and i am not smoking any other day of the summer UNLESS IM IN A HOT TUB..or if its a special occasion. hahah. me and lilah were talkign about how her lungs are fucked and my MEMORY is fuked. so yeah. shit you people really need to go www.ebaumsworld.com and go to the animation or cartoons whatever and go to the DANCING BANANA *PENUT BUTTER AND JELLY TIME* its sooooo cool!!!! hahahah. yeaaa crazy. wow i'vebeen having some fucked up dreams lately. i had one where wes tried to kill me, then i had one where i was caught stealing at bath adn body works but the store was my yard and all these turkeys chased me. OMG and then i had one, where iw as at this house in aspen and wes was there too (i kinda forgot to tell him this but oh well) and we were all in this hot tub and it was so chaotic and me jessica and bianca were sharing a room and like i got mad at them and then sara and ally were in the hot tub with them and they wqere like pissing me off so i went off and smoked ?? and then all of a sudden my mom caught me and jessica took the blame. then all of a sudden wes and his dad pulled up tothe building and the bulding was a strip club. omg and then i remember, i guess it was graduation but it was with my elementary school teachers, and WILL was there. and we were like reading our poems (from the poetry unit we did in 8th grade) and like it was weird and i had to sit by will. and then ella and rachel were there and they're all hes hot did you hook up with him and im like "yeah and suddenly he didnt seem so hot after that" and then it ended. and then i remembered the time when i wanted to call trina that night, the time when we were friends, no, the time when we were good friends. but for once i dont miss that, well in a way i do but i am hapy with my PRESENT, i dont have to be all nostalgic and i dont have to yearn for something i once had...because i DONT. and it makes me happy in a way. yeah i was watching tears of the sun...ONLY THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE EVER...and i wrote this poem and once again, comment if you feel the need. yeah.
*our* universe is not *ours*
it is our own individual universe
each individual reality
each individual mentality
From Horrid daily events in life
a husband rapes and kills his wife
then casually buries her underground
where shes sure never to be found
children with no homes
a child wanders all alone
brutal wars in 3rd world countries
thousands of bodies filled with lead
lethal virus's and diseases spread
invading us all
degrading us all
evaporating us all
decapitating us all
another minute by
another thousand die
but if we dont realize this
then the issue wont dissapear
instead it will spread
faster than a speeding bullet
aimed straight for your head
your precious life will rip
from your hopeless grip
but its not real to you
it would never happen to you
open your fucking eyes
another minute by
another thousand die
the only thought that crosses your mind
is how this happened so fast
why do i care? you ask
how do i know? you ask
I don't
i cant even begin to imagine
but i do know what its like
to mentally die
to have your life evaporate
before your weary eyes
and i know what it is
to run from death
hoping this wont be
your very last breath
and then to find yourself
by yourself
and when the storm ends
you'll find yourself chasing
death itself all over again
and whats happening across the world
can only be ten times worse
because i wont be here with you
i'd be dead in a black herse
if i was lucky
most likely to be burnt alive
shot to death
entire family slaughtered
under rebel house arrest
so the next time you think
you want to die
becuase your parents caught
you getting high
because you cant find love
in the arms of a hot guy
remember this
but i wont remember that
and i dont remember you
you need to revive yourself
becuase you can be erased
you can be replaced
you can be erased
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry guys if that was kinda intense or whatever but yeah inspired by tears of the sun baby. aah war movies are so sad but its so real is what gets to you, yah kno? anyways im outro, peace
oh dude, look at what i learned today hahahah!!
[]D[][]V[][]D lol in case you cant read it says pimp. latas.