Nobody reads this shit anyway.
I don't know why I still post things here, maybe its my way of getting shit out of my head. Maybe its a quiet cry for help. Either way, I'm not stopping anytime soon.
I am hurting. So fucking badly. I'm literally miserable. The worst part? I know that makes some people happy.
I haven't been happy in god knows how long, and I don't understand why. Why can't I be happy and grateful for what I have right in front of me? Why do I dwell on the past and what went wrong? I wish I knew. I've resorted to stupid things to make me forget, things that are probably going to end up hurting me in the long run. Yeah it may help now, but its beginning to cause even more problems.
I've lost all trust in people, probably even myself. I'm paranoid and worried about others' intentions. I constantly feel like I need approval and I can't even get it from my family. Even they're falling apart. Maybe thats why I've lost faith in myself and other people. The best example is family and yet its the worst example for me right now. How am I supposed to believe in love, faith, happiness, or success when all of that is failing?
I don't know, maybe its a lot to ask for. But for once, I just want someone to be proud of me, someone to tell me everything will be okay, someone to tell me that its all worth it, to tell me that I'm worth it. Most of all, I want to be able to trust and be proud of myself.
God damn, I need to know if any of this is possible.
I am hurting. So fucking badly. I'm literally miserable. The worst part? I know that makes some people happy.
I haven't been happy in god knows how long, and I don't understand why. Why can't I be happy and grateful for what I have right in front of me? Why do I dwell on the past and what went wrong? I wish I knew. I've resorted to stupid things to make me forget, things that are probably going to end up hurting me in the long run. Yeah it may help now, but its beginning to cause even more problems.
I've lost all trust in people, probably even myself. I'm paranoid and worried about others' intentions. I constantly feel like I need approval and I can't even get it from my family. Even they're falling apart. Maybe thats why I've lost faith in myself and other people. The best example is family and yet its the worst example for me right now. How am I supposed to believe in love, faith, happiness, or success when all of that is failing?
I don't know, maybe its a lot to ask for. But for once, I just want someone to be proud of me, someone to tell me everything will be okay, someone to tell me that its all worth it, to tell me that I'm worth it. Most of all, I want to be able to trust and be proud of myself.
God damn, I need to know if any of this is possible.