(no subject)
Its 3 in the morning, I have class at 9:35. What the hell am I doing? I should be sleeping, but of course, I can't. So much is on my mind.
I found something I wrote last March:
-Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at 7:57pmEverything is finally changing. Simply stated. High School is ending. Most of us are moving on to bigger things, whether it be college, jobs, or whatever else. We're leaving our families, friendships, relationships, teachers, jobs and everything else behind. Some are leaving for summer, some for fall, and others for spring; and while this new incredible chapter in our lives is beginning, I can't help but feel reluctant to say my goodbyes.
Throughout high school, I've met so many new people who have shaped my life in ways I cannot even begin to explain. Being a part of color guard and dance, regardless of what is said, were probably the best choices I have ever made. The people I met and the friendships I made still stay with me today, and those people have impacted my lives whether they know it or not. The other friends that I may have lost, even though we are not still friends, they have all taught me about myself in ways other could not. I am so very thankful for having these people in my life and I am sorry for those friendships that were lost.
The relationships I have had influenced me to become the person I am now. Through my previous experiences, I am a completely different person. I learned to let go of all inhibitions and finally trust someone, and that alone has made me a better person. Yeah, like everyone else, I've had some hard times that created insecurities and other problems, but overall, they have helped me grow and become more sympathetic and caring towards others. The part that, frankly, sucks the most, is saying goodbye to the people I care about and quite possibly losing them.
Basically, now that it is soon time to leave Sarasota, I'm so hesitant to be excited about it. I know this means leaving people that I truly care about, and quite possibly losing those relationships. Honestly, I'm scared as hell to leave all of this behind and part of me really wants to stay. Regardless of what may happen in the future, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been in my life, whether you are still in it or not, and thank you for providing me with experiences that will last a lifetime.
Ignoring the fact that it is terrible writing, I love how nostalgic this made me feel. As I was reading, everything I had felt seemed familiar again. Yet somehow everything is so different than I could have possibly imagined. I thought as soon as I got to Gainesville I would either be homesick or ecstatic. I'm neither. I'm indifferent. This worries me. I mean I love it here and all, but its not the amazing time of my life that I expected. I rarely go out, sometimes preferring to keep to myself. Worst of all, its sadly realistic. Things are no longer going to be easy. I have to invest time in studying and doing homework, and more importantly, I have to actually work hard at something. I've already had a reality check. For lack of better words, I now know I have to work my ass off. As far as my friends go, the same thing applies. Its completely different, part of me doesn't really care anymore. If you're not in my life, there is a reason why. End of story. So I lose friends...who cares? I go to a university with over 40,000 students. I'm sure it won't be awfully difficult to find new ones. Ha, and relationships. Yeah I totally missed the mark on this. I thought for sure I would still be with the person I was with at the time that I wrote this. Good joke. Its amazing how things change, and how quickly those changes occur. The only thing that isn't really different is how I feel about the people in my life, they've made me who I am. I really am thankful for all of them. Besides, its too stupid to be spiteful over old shit. Let it go. Learn from the past, embrace the change. I feel a cliche is necessary: "Everything happens for a reason." So let things happen. Live your life one day at a time. Just go with it.
I found something I wrote last March:
-Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at 7:57pmEverything is finally changing. Simply stated. High School is ending. Most of us are moving on to bigger things, whether it be college, jobs, or whatever else. We're leaving our families, friendships, relationships, teachers, jobs and everything else behind. Some are leaving for summer, some for fall, and others for spring; and while this new incredible chapter in our lives is beginning, I can't help but feel reluctant to say my goodbyes.
Throughout high school, I've met so many new people who have shaped my life in ways I cannot even begin to explain. Being a part of color guard and dance, regardless of what is said, were probably the best choices I have ever made. The people I met and the friendships I made still stay with me today, and those people have impacted my lives whether they know it or not. The other friends that I may have lost, even though we are not still friends, they have all taught me about myself in ways other could not. I am so very thankful for having these people in my life and I am sorry for those friendships that were lost.
The relationships I have had influenced me to become the person I am now. Through my previous experiences, I am a completely different person. I learned to let go of all inhibitions and finally trust someone, and that alone has made me a better person. Yeah, like everyone else, I've had some hard times that created insecurities and other problems, but overall, they have helped me grow and become more sympathetic and caring towards others. The part that, frankly, sucks the most, is saying goodbye to the people I care about and quite possibly losing them.
Basically, now that it is soon time to leave Sarasota, I'm so hesitant to be excited about it. I know this means leaving people that I truly care about, and quite possibly losing those relationships. Honestly, I'm scared as hell to leave all of this behind and part of me really wants to stay. Regardless of what may happen in the future, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been in my life, whether you are still in it or not, and thank you for providing me with experiences that will last a lifetime.
Ignoring the fact that it is terrible writing, I love how nostalgic this made me feel. As I was reading, everything I had felt seemed familiar again. Yet somehow everything is so different than I could have possibly imagined. I thought as soon as I got to Gainesville I would either be homesick or ecstatic. I'm neither. I'm indifferent. This worries me. I mean I love it here and all, but its not the amazing time of my life that I expected. I rarely go out, sometimes preferring to keep to myself. Worst of all, its sadly realistic. Things are no longer going to be easy. I have to invest time in studying and doing homework, and more importantly, I have to actually work hard at something. I've already had a reality check. For lack of better words, I now know I have to work my ass off. As far as my friends go, the same thing applies. Its completely different, part of me doesn't really care anymore. If you're not in my life, there is a reason why. End of story. So I lose friends...who cares? I go to a university with over 40,000 students. I'm sure it won't be awfully difficult to find new ones. Ha, and relationships. Yeah I totally missed the mark on this. I thought for sure I would still be with the person I was with at the time that I wrote this. Good joke. Its amazing how things change, and how quickly those changes occur. The only thing that isn't really different is how I feel about the people in my life, they've made me who I am. I really am thankful for all of them. Besides, its too stupid to be spiteful over old shit. Let it go. Learn from the past, embrace the change. I feel a cliche is necessary: "Everything happens for a reason." So let things happen. Live your life one day at a time. Just go with it.