More Goodbyes
This has been a very emotional week. It has been full of joy and wonderful time shared with friends, but also having a bit of saddness knowing that soon I will have to part ways with all of the people I have been sharing my life with here. Today was my official community farewell. L'Arche Cork has a tradition of welcoming and saying goodbye to assistants with the presentation of a candle and a celtic blessing. Katie read my blessing and all three of the core members who lived with me in Suaimhneas came up and placed a hand on my shoulder while Katie read this:
May the blessing of light be on you,
Light without and light within
May the blessed sunlight shine upon you
And warm your heart till it glows like a great peat fire
So that the stranger may come and warm himself/herself at it,
And also a friend.
And may the light shine from your eyes
Like a candle set in the windows of a house,
Bidding the wanderer to come in out of the storm.
May the blessing of the rain be on you
The soft sweet rain.
May it fall upon your spirit
So that all the little flowers may spring up
And shed their sweetness on the air
May the blessing of the great rains be on you,
May they beat upon your spirit and wash it fair and clean,
And leave there many a shining pool where the blue
Of heaven shines, and sometimes a star.
May the Lord bless you
And bless you kindly.
Needless to say I got a bit emotional,, but it was really so beautiful. The faith of this community and the amount of care that everyone put into things is really touching. It was also nice that I was not the only one crying at mass. A few of the core members when they saw my eyes start to water up came over and kept hugging me. I don't really know how to describe my time here yet. It has been intense and I feel like I have laughed and cried more in these last 16 months more than I have in any other time in my life. There is something very very special about living in community. All of the masks you try to put up can be quickly torn down and you really get to KNOW eachother. You learn everyone's strengths and weaknesses and accept them. It can be maddening at times, but it is also very life giving. Today I was in a room full of 50 people and I didn't mind crying in front of them. I really have learned to embrace my weakness and not try to cover it up. I have also leearned a huge amount of trust. Before coming to L'Arche I thought I had to know what I was going to do for the next several years (and maybe even the rest of) my life . I came to L'Arche thinking a year away would help me find answeres as to what I should do next. As I get ready to return home I still have no clue, yet I am much more at peace with that. I know that God will help me to find the next step on my journey and that while things may be hard I can get through it. There is so much more I could write, but I think I still need a lot more time to process everything. I am moving out of my room today and trying to start the process of packing up and to some extent letting go of the last 16 months. I am sad to go, but I feel so blessed that I have had this experience. I know that this is not the last time I will be in Cork or the last time I will be in L'Arche, but for now it is time to say goodbye.
May the blessing of light be on you,
Light without and light within
May the blessed sunlight shine upon you
And warm your heart till it glows like a great peat fire
So that the stranger may come and warm himself/herself at it,
And also a friend.
And may the light shine from your eyes
Like a candle set in the windows of a house,
Bidding the wanderer to come in out of the storm.
May the blessing of the rain be on you
The soft sweet rain.
May it fall upon your spirit
So that all the little flowers may spring up
And shed their sweetness on the air
May the blessing of the great rains be on you,
May they beat upon your spirit and wash it fair and clean,
And leave there many a shining pool where the blue
Of heaven shines, and sometimes a star.
May the Lord bless you
And bless you kindly.
Needless to say I got a bit emotional,, but it was really so beautiful. The faith of this community and the amount of care that everyone put into things is really touching. It was also nice that I was not the only one crying at mass. A few of the core members when they saw my eyes start to water up came over and kept hugging me. I don't really know how to describe my time here yet. It has been intense and I feel like I have laughed and cried more in these last 16 months more than I have in any other time in my life. There is something very very special about living in community. All of the masks you try to put up can be quickly torn down and you really get to KNOW eachother. You learn everyone's strengths and weaknesses and accept them. It can be maddening at times, but it is also very life giving. Today I was in a room full of 50 people and I didn't mind crying in front of them. I really have learned to embrace my weakness and not try to cover it up. I have also leearned a huge amount of trust. Before coming to L'Arche I thought I had to know what I was going to do for the next several years (and maybe even the rest of) my life . I came to L'Arche thinking a year away would help me find answeres as to what I should do next. As I get ready to return home I still have no clue, yet I am much more at peace with that. I know that God will help me to find the next step on my journey and that while things may be hard I can get through it. There is so much more I could write, but I think I still need a lot more time to process everything. I am moving out of my room today and trying to start the process of packing up and to some extent letting go of the last 16 months. I am sad to go, but I feel so blessed that I have had this experience. I know that this is not the last time I will be in Cork or the last time I will be in L'Arche, but for now it is time to say goodbye.