Is it, I dunno, is it stupid to reread
way, way old fic you wrote back when you were young(er) and, like, go completely nuts for a little while? Like, "EEEEE I WROTE THAT" and "OMG IT'S SO CUTE" and "JESUS FUCK, I WROTE THAT?!" And then to miss those days of the fandom so hard you feel a little emptier inside? The days of wine and roses, when CLAMP didn't joss every single headcanon you ever created for this pairing?
Because if it is, I'm so incredibly stupid right now.