i never write in here anymore
this is very true..its been way too long snce ive posted an actual meaningful entry in my beloved journal. i cant believe people still keep up with these things. so recently..michael and i broke up for 2 months and then got back together...its cool and all..im so comfortable with him..in ways that i was never comfortable with geoffrey.. the problem is that our comfort levels make it tough for any thing to change..we broke up for 2 months..i hoped in the 2 months, he realized what pissed me off about him and that if i was important to him, he's change it and stop being a douche bag. i was so wrong...we picked up right where we left off...it feels like we never stopped being together despite the other guys i've gotten with (dave, brent). i have to say..i was so scared of julianne..when michael told me they were hooking up and doing their thing, i thought he was lost forever..which made me very sad because i took the break from him hoping that he would do everything in his power to get me back..but i thought my plan backfired. thankfully it didnt.
i really have no reason to hate julianne..she hasnt done anything to me..i dont at all think that she got with mike to hurt me in any way...im sure shes a sweet girl...but human nature will not allow me to see past the fact that her mouth was on his dick (stupid slut)...bottom line is..im never going to like her...i will forever aspire to bring her pain. i will always frown a bit when shes brought up in convo..ill roll my eyes, and silently hope shes unhappy, where ever she is and whatever shes doing with herself.
st patricks day just passed..it was siickk..
3 days ago...oh my goddd...
i woke up at about 1 that day, only to have matt murphy pissed off that i slept so late because i told him we'd hit up the parade..we took the trip anyway and then i bitched about how cold i was...it wasnt a bad time..matt and i parted ways after he dropped me at home and i didnt speak to him for the rest of the night...thank god..becuase if he brought me down, i would have gone to his house and punched him. i drove to city island at about 6:30...when i got there, mike was mad that i spent alot of the day with matt instead of him...i did my best to ignore him knowing that i was about to go to a crazy party at flynn's house. we arrived at toms house and of course, everyone was wasted...we always get there late!..but anyway..i was pleased to see jake from TU there and flavia since shes part of the old st paddys crew..from 3 years ago..i saw eddie and jackie, aidan and liz, kim and johnny...and dani was there too..it was special..it didnt take long for me to start feeling it..which is what i love about myself. tom tarangioli was there....he cut the fro...he looked SO good. after having a good few rounds in me, it was tittie time, just like every year..after tittie time, i just left my shirt off..i think people took pictures, but i was wasted...i dont remember...ohh man..not good...kim told me she wanted to get with jake..so i took it upon my shitfaced self to hook that up..i told jake he HAD to make out with kim and he told me no because he was a little bit involved with someone..so i let the matter go...next thing i know, michael and jake are talking and jake grabs me and tells me to go find kim because hes gonna get with her...so in my delighted state, i ran off looking for kim..and then kim and i met mike and jake in the laundry room where JAMES MCGOWAN was getting his freak on with guilianna capiello..shocked? you bet i was! so i push kimmie and jake together and they do their thing..and mike and i do ours...i kept hearing jake be mad awkward..talking about how he was afraid johnny would find him and kim and be mad..next thing i know, mike says ok...lets switch it up...he grabs kimberly and shoves me onto jake..i just remember being like JAKE! THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! IVE NEVER KISSED YOU BEFORE! (im so weird) and then jake just kissed me...and we went at it for a good few minutes which was special...i kept hearing kim saying she didnt want to kiss mike..she wanted to kiss jake..but jake was doing a number on me, so we didnt stop...that is, until liz started screaming to aidan about how "johnny" touched her and it was NOT ok..i ran to her aid...which was good timing because shortly after, jake threw up..yum..turned out it wasnt JOHNNY who touched her, it was john plantikow..yeah...johnny mcgoo caught jake and kim and was sad..and then i didnt see them for a long time because they had to talk. idk..the rest is a blur..tom flipped out at some point when i was in the bathroom with dani and sarah where dani was puking..tom kicked everyone out..at one point as i was on my way back to the bathroom, i caught toms eye and he started screaming at me to get out of his house..he said fuck you get the fuck out of my house you didnt even say hi to me tonight! (which was a lie because i did..and i hugged him too)..i ignored him and continued to clean his bathroom..everyone said i was stupid for that, but whatever, he needed my help...but i started to cry and when nicole asked me why, i didnt want to talk about it until the chaos was over..tom came into the bathroom and saw me crying and said sorry and hugged me. after everyone was kicked out, it was tom, joslyn, billy, johnny and i cleaning the basement...i calmed down, but i was still shaken up and crying..i avoided everyone and stuck to cleaning the bathroom by myself. tom and joslyn got into a fight and joslyn ran off...i went after her and she was crying...so i went back to tom and told him he should talk to her..then we moved the party to billys shack and at one point i followed jos outside to pee but i lost her and then tommy found me and he began to pee in the outdoor shower and he said "christie, we have to talk" and i said "yes we do" he said he was sorry for yelling at me and thanks for helping clean and i said its ok and no problem..and then he said "lets face it...i've kissed you...you're always welcome in my house"...i thought that was so sweet of him to not only acknowledge the fact that we were pretty close at one time, but to give me an eternal invitation..then mommy called and said to sleep at mikes since the roads were all icy...so i continued to drink...thats when i decided to fight jimmy doyle and got punched in the face...haha sweeeettt...and then i went to mikes with mike and erica...erica slipped on the ice on the way there and i laughed...and then about 2 blocked later i busted my ASS...SO hard..i remember telling mike it hurt so bad i wanted to cry..and he said "so cry, baby..its ok" but i refused to do that..and then me and erica slept on either side of mike and i woke up for work the next day, but remembered i had to walk to toms to get my car because im silly...that sucked.
i really have no reason to hate julianne..she hasnt done anything to me..i dont at all think that she got with mike to hurt me in any way...im sure shes a sweet girl...but human nature will not allow me to see past the fact that her mouth was on his dick (stupid slut)...bottom line is..im never going to like her...i will forever aspire to bring her pain. i will always frown a bit when shes brought up in convo..ill roll my eyes, and silently hope shes unhappy, where ever she is and whatever shes doing with herself.
st patricks day just passed..it was siickk..
3 days ago...oh my goddd...
i woke up at about 1 that day, only to have matt murphy pissed off that i slept so late because i told him we'd hit up the parade..we took the trip anyway and then i bitched about how cold i was...it wasnt a bad time..matt and i parted ways after he dropped me at home and i didnt speak to him for the rest of the night...thank god..becuase if he brought me down, i would have gone to his house and punched him. i drove to city island at about 6:30...when i got there, mike was mad that i spent alot of the day with matt instead of him...i did my best to ignore him knowing that i was about to go to a crazy party at flynn's house. we arrived at toms house and of course, everyone was wasted...we always get there late!..but anyway..i was pleased to see jake from TU there and flavia since shes part of the old st paddys crew..from 3 years ago..i saw eddie and jackie, aidan and liz, kim and johnny...and dani was there too..it was special..it didnt take long for me to start feeling it..which is what i love about myself. tom tarangioli was there....he cut the fro...he looked SO good. after having a good few rounds in me, it was tittie time, just like every year..after tittie time, i just left my shirt off..i think people took pictures, but i was wasted...i dont remember...ohh man..not good...kim told me she wanted to get with jake..so i took it upon my shitfaced self to hook that up..i told jake he HAD to make out with kim and he told me no because he was a little bit involved with someone..so i let the matter go...next thing i know, michael and jake are talking and jake grabs me and tells me to go find kim because hes gonna get with her...so in my delighted state, i ran off looking for kim..and then kim and i met mike and jake in the laundry room where JAMES MCGOWAN was getting his freak on with guilianna capiello..shocked? you bet i was! so i push kimmie and jake together and they do their thing..and mike and i do ours...i kept hearing jake be mad awkward..talking about how he was afraid johnny would find him and kim and be mad..next thing i know, mike says ok...lets switch it up...he grabs kimberly and shoves me onto jake..i just remember being like JAKE! THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! IVE NEVER KISSED YOU BEFORE! (im so weird) and then jake just kissed me...and we went at it for a good few minutes which was special...i kept hearing kim saying she didnt want to kiss mike..she wanted to kiss jake..but jake was doing a number on me, so we didnt stop...that is, until liz started screaming to aidan about how "johnny" touched her and it was NOT ok..i ran to her aid...which was good timing because shortly after, jake threw up..yum..turned out it wasnt JOHNNY who touched her, it was john plantikow..yeah...johnny mcgoo caught jake and kim and was sad..and then i didnt see them for a long time because they had to talk. idk..the rest is a blur..tom flipped out at some point when i was in the bathroom with dani and sarah where dani was puking..tom kicked everyone out..at one point as i was on my way back to the bathroom, i caught toms eye and he started screaming at me to get out of his house..he said fuck you get the fuck out of my house you didnt even say hi to me tonight! (which was a lie because i did..and i hugged him too)..i ignored him and continued to clean his bathroom..everyone said i was stupid for that, but whatever, he needed my help...but i started to cry and when nicole asked me why, i didnt want to talk about it until the chaos was over..tom came into the bathroom and saw me crying and said sorry and hugged me. after everyone was kicked out, it was tom, joslyn, billy, johnny and i cleaning the basement...i calmed down, but i was still shaken up and crying..i avoided everyone and stuck to cleaning the bathroom by myself. tom and joslyn got into a fight and joslyn ran off...i went after her and she was crying...so i went back to tom and told him he should talk to her..then we moved the party to billys shack and at one point i followed jos outside to pee but i lost her and then tommy found me and he began to pee in the outdoor shower and he said "christie, we have to talk" and i said "yes we do" he said he was sorry for yelling at me and thanks for helping clean and i said its ok and no problem..and then he said "lets face it...i've kissed you...you're always welcome in my house"...i thought that was so sweet of him to not only acknowledge the fact that we were pretty close at one time, but to give me an eternal invitation..then mommy called and said to sleep at mikes since the roads were all icy...so i continued to drink...thats when i decided to fight jimmy doyle and got punched in the face...haha sweeeettt...and then i went to mikes with mike and erica...erica slipped on the ice on the way there and i laughed...and then about 2 blocked later i busted my ASS...SO hard..i remember telling mike it hurt so bad i wanted to cry..and he said "so cry, baby..its ok" but i refused to do that..and then me and erica slept on either side of mike and i woke up for work the next day, but remembered i had to walk to toms to get my car because im silly...that sucked.