pissed off...and sad
I didnt get to do ANYTHING today!!! im so fucking pissed off because my mom is being a gay-bay about everything seems liek today. I wasnt able to see Jared... and chrys is making me feel liek a retard because of the way she says things to me.. idk... im sick of everyone and everything.Florida is still on my mind and how people pissed me off when i was there and i dont know how to not be pissed off at people right now. It doesnt seem like Jared wants too much to do with me tonight giving that he doesnt want to do anything just becausemy mom wont let me unless its a movie. So now we have to go tomorrow hopefully, that is if my mom is done being gay about everything, even though i really really really wanted to see him tonight. I miss him more than anyone knows.I dont know what i would do if i ever lost him in my life forever. He means the world to me and he always will no matter what happens. He is and always will be my best friend.I just cannot wait until i get to be 16 and then i dont have to wait on mom to take me places or hopefully ill have a car by then and then i wont have to have her say nop and she wont have to say that she has to take and pick me up from anywhere anymore. I hate being such a baby seems like. all of my friends are getting older seems liek and i just seem to be stuck in limbo waiting for my turn to be mobile and free in a way. I want to be able to spend all day with my boyfriend, but i cant because my mom wont ever let me. She sometimes wont let me see him for weeks at a time when she knows how i feel when i dont get to see him that long because she feels the same way when dad is gone that long in Michigan. I just dont see why everyone has to ruin it for me. ther one thing that is going well in my life is jared and i dont want to fuck that up.We broke up twice and that was my fuck up... i dont want to make that mistake ever again. i want to spend forever with him. I love him sooo very much and i just wish that i had someone that could understand where i was coming from about this and give me some advice sometimes because i want soo badly to be able to say that thats my husband someday. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him. I have a sweetie and i dont ever want to let him go. If you have some input on this subject... please comment cause i could really use some advice...