Life, Death, Vengeance, Men
Life's a funny thing. Of course it's not like I really every claimed to understand it. It's full of illogical, poorly thought out concepts, that only lead to waste, heartache, and pain. And I still maintain that God is a man. Cause a woman would not create a place this messed up. I mean really.
Anyway, life's a funny thing, yadda, yadda... ( You know this online journaling thing looks to be lucrative. I always told Giles that if we focused more on our internet sales...nevermind.) Point is, one minute I'm standing there all courageous, which is absolutely ridiculous, because I should be scared silly; I mean not only were those impossible odds, but they stuck me with Andrew. They might as well have given me Dawn for god's sake. At least maybe I could have used the fact that she was an all powerful key to barter for my life... And the next think I know I'm in a room- well to be technical some big dark space that probably had no actual boundaries in the sense of those we know in this world, but again, point...with D'Hoffryn standing behind me going Anyanka this and Anyanka that.
So what do you know? I'm not dead. (And for the record, Buffy; drama queen. Dying really isn't all that different from living.) And I'm seemingly back in the vengeance biz, despite my protests.
I'm not really sure why I didn't stay dead. D'Hoffryn said somebody somewhere made a wish. Personally I just think it's because there was a strike that week and his profit margin was plummeting... Or possibly it's some human thing. Something I still don't understand.
So, he has me out scouting women who might need vengeance. So what better place than LA right? (Apparently they were all out of scorned women in Tahiti, I don't know.)
There's this one woman. An attorney. I've been following her. Even did my reading. And trust me life hasn't been that kind. I wouldn't be surprised if she was ready to make a wish any day now. And you know what I might just give her several... Because, and she could be the poster child for this point, men are jerks. Totally and completely. Even the good ones. Even the best ones. I mean even Xander stood me up on our wedding day.
I mean, I was in there working sex poodle into the most perfectly spoken and from the heart wedding vows ever, and he just up and leaves.
But keeping in line with my whole point of life being a very funny, although not always in a humorous ha ha type way, thing is, I think I may know where he is. You see this woman; this lawyer, well she's friends with Angel, and ... well not so much friends... But that annoying little mini-Giles? Yep. They were much with the sex. And everybody knows the person with whom you have mind boggling sex should come before your friends. Of course this all works very well in theory. But in the end it all seems to revolve around the best friend/vampire slayer read: demon murderer, now doesn't it?
Anyway, they're all connected. And seeing as when I died, Sunnydale imploded, Xander is in LA now. He's some sort of glorified janitor at the law firm which seems to be the center of everything. It's like a hellmouth. Only with nicer architecture.
Of course I'm not gonna go chasing after Xander. However if I should happen to just, bump into him- Well that simply can't be helped. Now can it? I mean I have a job to do, and Lord knows how long that'll take.
Just occurred to me I mentioned what 3, maybe 4 funerals and a wedding. Like the reverse of that Hugh Grant movie. Ooh! That reminds me. When I'm done with LA- Elizabeth Hurley. She might have few I hope he *insert painful experience here* wishes... Plus I'd get to meet Hugh Grant.
Anyway, life's a funny thing, yadda, yadda... ( You know this online journaling thing looks to be lucrative. I always told Giles that if we focused more on our internet sales...nevermind.) Point is, one minute I'm standing there all courageous, which is absolutely ridiculous, because I should be scared silly; I mean not only were those impossible odds, but they stuck me with Andrew. They might as well have given me Dawn for god's sake. At least maybe I could have used the fact that she was an all powerful key to barter for my life... And the next think I know I'm in a room- well to be technical some big dark space that probably had no actual boundaries in the sense of those we know in this world, but again, point...with D'Hoffryn standing behind me going Anyanka this and Anyanka that.
So what do you know? I'm not dead. (And for the record, Buffy; drama queen. Dying really isn't all that different from living.) And I'm seemingly back in the vengeance biz, despite my protests.
I'm not really sure why I didn't stay dead. D'Hoffryn said somebody somewhere made a wish. Personally I just think it's because there was a strike that week and his profit margin was plummeting... Or possibly it's some human thing. Something I still don't understand.
So, he has me out scouting women who might need vengeance. So what better place than LA right? (Apparently they were all out of scorned women in Tahiti, I don't know.)
There's this one woman. An attorney. I've been following her. Even did my reading. And trust me life hasn't been that kind. I wouldn't be surprised if she was ready to make a wish any day now. And you know what I might just give her several... Because, and she could be the poster child for this point, men are jerks. Totally and completely. Even the good ones. Even the best ones. I mean even Xander stood me up on our wedding day.
I mean, I was in there working sex poodle into the most perfectly spoken and from the heart wedding vows ever, and he just up and leaves.
But keeping in line with my whole point of life being a very funny, although not always in a humorous ha ha type way, thing is, I think I may know where he is. You see this woman; this lawyer, well she's friends with Angel, and ... well not so much friends... But that annoying little mini-Giles? Yep. They were much with the sex. And everybody knows the person with whom you have mind boggling sex should come before your friends. Of course this all works very well in theory. But in the end it all seems to revolve around the best friend/vampire slayer read: demon murderer, now doesn't it?
Anyway, they're all connected. And seeing as when I died, Sunnydale imploded, Xander is in LA now. He's some sort of glorified janitor at the law firm which seems to be the center of everything. It's like a hellmouth. Only with nicer architecture.
Of course I'm not gonna go chasing after Xander. However if I should happen to just, bump into him- Well that simply can't be helped. Now can it? I mean I have a job to do, and Lord knows how long that'll take.
Just occurred to me I mentioned what 3, maybe 4 funerals and a wedding. Like the reverse of that Hugh Grant movie. Ooh! That reminds me. When I'm done with LA- Elizabeth Hurley. She might have few I hope he *insert painful experience here* wishes... Plus I'd get to meet Hugh Grant.