leaves in the streets!
If I had my way...
pretty much all motorized lawn maintenance tools would be wiped off the face of the planet...
and then I would watch and laugh as the entire world went crazy...
watching grass grow
watching leaves fall off trees
piling up on the ground
blowing around in the wind.
I mean what the fuck would we do then?
How would we survive such madness?
I do sympathize for people who are hired to perform such silly tasks and understand these tools make their jobs much easier.
But I think we should just get rid of these jobs.
Or people who want "nice" manicured lawns and LEAF FREE CEMENT should take care of it them damn selves, with tools that don't make me want to commit suicide or homicide.
Isn't noise pollution a crime?
There are entire factories devoted to manufacturing singing fish and other equally offensive "novelty" items.
Can we at least make leaf blowers that emit some kind of music instead of evil death sounds?
Oh wait, I had a better idea, let's let leaves fall on the ground, there is a novel idea.
Or, hey, why don't city planners not plant non-native deciduous trees everywhere.
They could start by planting more female instead of male trees to reduce seasonal allergies.
And just deal with trees that produce fruit, OMG.
Or why don't apartment complexes and home owners and such that put so much time, thought, and energy into the visual appeal of their gardens start using SMART THOUGHTS to create landscapes that require little to no maintenance! Or at least QUIET maintenance.
Or, I could engineer a leaf blower that blows out leaves instead of blowing out air to move leaves around.
And walk around the streets at night and apartment complexes at ungodly hours blowing leaves onto grass and cement.
I could offer my services in return for payment.
And somehow convince people it's a good idea to blow leaves all around the streets.
I bet that would be more feasible than all of these other, much more practical ideas somehow because people are FUCKING CRAZY.